Changing Seasons in Life

It's been a tremendous run thus far with lap band happening last March 12, 2009. Weight loss, life changes, no serious health complications today, tremendous energy level...back into life living and loving.

For all of us, we face various challenges and move forward. My challenge this winter, the cold. I find me wearing flannel jammy bottoms, a t-shirt and my Harvard sweeatshirt over it all. The cold this season is (for the first time in years) challenging me! I can handle it! As far as me, life is good, gooder and goodest. Hey, easier to handle than Tiger Wood's new world!!

You can see by my crinkled face above, I'm having fun just being a crazy 'bander'. It's hard to believe that one small tool can totally change lives, reinstate self concept, increase health benefits and allow one to live an energetic, full and happy life.

Through this journey, my friends have been so supportive. Love, concern, wishes for well-being and more. These are friends from old high school days, friends from a lifetime of work and experience. "Also, family has been wonderful in 'keeping tabs' on me and the progress. They all saw me when I was at my lowest back in 2004 and now they're celebrating the new me.

In the meantime, I have a special BFF that has been such a tremendous supporter for me. Always checking this blog, sending an email sometimes, 'you haven't posted in a while, are you ok'? Today I want to send her a bouqet of beautiful flowers, red roses and baby's breath and say, 'you were here for me ... now, I'm here for you.' She was diagnosed with breast cancer on Monday.

Suddenly, her world has changed and she is in a free fall of life challenging decisions and more. Let's not forget that sometimes, our small life issues are simply that. Celebrate life every moment for it's a one shot game. Enjoy the good things that come your way and reville in the friends and family you love. My challenge was suddenly diminished this week with her news.

She called today and we shared long moments on the phone through tears and brief periods of silence. I will be available for this bff. I will be a strength, a best friend, a great listener and a comforter. There is an old saying, "A friend in need..". I will be sitting in the waiting room with a couple of other friends when she has surgery.

My thoughts today for those reading this blog...if you're a bander, thinking about banding or other surgery...go for it. Do not let the grass grow under your feet. Live it, learn it and celebrate the life change you will/or/are experiencing. It makes me proud to know that I have friends and family who have taken the first step and are going to have some type of bariatric surgery to help them get back on track!

It makes me sad that I have friends in far deeper water than myself. It is the season...be kind and pass along some Random Acts of Kindness. Tis the season...PAY IT FORWARD. Life did not come with a written guarantee. It came as a blessing, an opportunity and a roadmap. We make our choices and set our course. Just because we sometimes took/take a wrong turn doesn't mean we can't correct our sights!

Be someone's blessing this season. And, as for my BFF...add her to your prayer list. Lift her up and pray for her strength and courage as we remember the many stages we go through in the face of challenge. As for me, thanks for always being there/here. You make all the difference in the world!

I hope you see less of me next year at this time!!!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a big hug!

Payoffs are Fun

Today is another dreary day in Humble Town...that's okay. Matters not to me for I have conquered the challenge to this point. Having broken the weight barrier this week has pumped me, stoked me and filled me with happy.

Hard work, tenacity and determination have become my 'side kicks'. Knowing that the reward is somewhere out there has kept me on target, waiting to see the numbers change again. This week, I have lost two pounds, broken the plateau and enjoyed delicious foods...but, with reason.

How does the band work, you ask. It's tight enough now that the first four or five bites, I sit and wait for the food to work it's way beyond the very small closure. Yes, I can feel it, and, yes, sometimes it's very painful. Just a gentle (sometimes harsh) reminder of why I'm doing what I'm doing.

It seems if I thinkkkkk I need to eat after 8 pm...it will always come back on me. Bottom line, enjoy a refreshing glass of Dole's Orange, Banana, Pineapple Juice and be happy! Habits have changed and each day brings a new enlightment to me. I reflect daily and ponder what I did...how I did it...what will/should I change? For the moment, staying on task and continuing the excellent habits day to day is the premium choice for me.

I find it amusing that an outlet such as Facebook has provided a tremendous avenue for spare time and boredom. Involved in games, friends, old high school classmates and family...I entertain myself without conflict. It's a great way to wile away the endless hours of a long day some days. I've met people from all over the US...common interest are games such as Age of Castles, Mafia War (yes, I kill people), Farmville, etc. It's neat to connect with folks and once in a while say hello other than sending just a gift from the game.

There are a few Baylor folks in the area I've connected with as well. They're cool because they attend the games and send updates via Facebook. What a hoot!! Ya neva know what it may be used for. But, regardless, it's a connection and a fun place to kill time. I believe it's been noticed that senior adults are taking advantage of the site and living it up!! Too funny.

Other than those things I've mentioned, I'm seeing teacher interns all over the area and loving it better than ever. To sail into a building, up the stairs and back down is exhilerating to me...I am no longer challenged by those things or oxygen deprived. Thank you dear Lord! Life's better than it's been in a long time, healthwise. It's wonderful to feel so great!

I hope life is bringing joy into sight everyday for everyone. If not, pull back the drape and seek some new ventures. If you have your health, you've got everything. It remains imperative, for anyone needing any kind of bariatric surgery, to move on it. You're burnin' daylight as John Wayne would say, if you're just sitting around wondering about it.

New life, new energy, new habits, new challenges. Go for the gusto and git er dun!! I did!

Just A Note

October 4, 2009...I have begun the descent, again! Since last visit to doc, -5 and...the barrier remains broken.

How good is this? I am pleased.

Settled into The New Lifestyle

Greetings to everyone! I felt it was time to write and talk about new discoveries. This entire experience has been completely life changing for me. I've lost weight, I've finally corralled my mind and old habits, I feel tremendous every day and I have not one regret. Surgery was the best thing that could have happened to me.

At age 61, I'm back to running errands, walking dogs, biking with a dog and walking a foot race in any department store or Walmart! Knowing that I can move and breathe again without having to hesitate due to lack of oxygen if a wonderful gift for this girl.

I've had so many individuals talk to me about my experience and, even the sweet lady behind the deli counter at Kroger is completely fascinated with the changes in me. She told me the other day that all people should get to hear what I say 'cause it's more than just weight loss!

A cousin or two have talked to me about the life changing decision and they are deciding what direction to take. For any who suffer with diabetes, meds, high blood pressure, etc...run, don't walk to the best PCP you can muster and ask for help with your health!

Remember, you only get one shot at life...make it your best shot!

Our dinner last evening was panko crusted chicken thighs (with lemon) pounded thin, greens with potatoes, onions and small hamhock for flavor and the most delicious gravy that was Morrocan flavored with the taste of cinnamon. Yum and yum again! All of that had all the marvelous flavors in the world, but cooked and designed for ME.

There are days, as I head home from observing teacher interns, that I'll pull through Whataburger, Popeye's or Kentucky Fried and bring something home to Michael for a treat! He loves it, I have no desire to eat anything from those places as I come home to eat my stuff here. It's a win-win these days and I feel proud to have come this far down the road.

Filling my time is no problem lately. I have beautiful hanging baskets, large pots of plants and a green, plush backyard again. Many times throughout a day I will go out and simply stroll around listening to the birds, the sound of the gentle breeze and perhaps the yapping of a dog clear across the community. That's life, for that moment.

I've hung a brightly colored basket by the kitchen window and there are some gorgeous, painted butterflies that come and visit. As I stand and watch them flutter, I admire their brilliance in color and the tenacity of their behavior over a bright flower. The hummingbird feeder is hung, waiting in silence for the first signs of that hovering little wonder. Intrigue is all around if you simply take time to stop, look and listen carefully.

I saw my surgeon two and half weeks ago. The next visit with him will be three months from that date. I'm swimming in the blue ocean now. Nope, not alone...my medical staff is only an email via MY CHART at BCM or a phone call. I have a private number to Dr. Sherman's lead nurse if I should ever need them. It makes me feel great to know that I'm in the center of a large, medical circle now.

As I grew up, I had this tremendous fear of doctors. Anxiety blood pressure plagued me, deep seated fear of them finding something wrong illuminated my imagination and the thought of them looking for whatever scared the 'bajeebers' outta me.

Not these days. Those individuals have become my knights in shining armor and good friends. You see, for anyone going through this procedure, assuming they have chosen excellent doctors, they will have such an improved quality of life from here on.

I encourage everyone, fat, thin, short, tall, gorgeous, not so gorgeous, go get the most out of life. It's not about how far you travel, how much gold you possess or who's the most famous person you know. It's about you, deep inside, fulfilling your life with the simple things when the more complicated things will leave you alone. If you have your health, you have everything!

My weight is coming off slowly now. That's alright. The purpose of my surgery was to rid me of all the complex issues I was dealt! It worked. I'm energized, healthy, happy and on the right track. This is a never ending challenge in a obese person's life. The game never ends, it just improves over the years. This began in July, 2008...today is October 03, 2009 -- I've been a million miles today!

14.5 months of learning, re-educating me, moving away from the danger foods, controlling the urges to eat junk and beginning to exercise regularly. My inner drive keeps me moving...I never wish to return to those issues that were life-threatening for me.

Anyone who wishes to contact me...
txspatter@aol.com
I don't know it all, no one does, but sometimes, ya just need a friend who'll listen...someone who's walked that mile in those shoes. Just a sec, I'm going to check my email! Wait, is that a hummingbird?

TODAY WAS THE DAY....

Hey, friends, I have broken the plateau with the scale!! yippee and yippee again. I am thrilled and what a boost of regenerated energy and enthusiasm for this 'ol girl. It's been a while coming, but I knew it would.

Michael and I discussed our evening meals and agreed that I needed broiled meat, two veggies and be done! We started that two nights ago and EUREEKA!

He'll continue cooking his favorite pasta dishes, etc...but, I will continue on this journey. It's all good, the rewards are many and it's worth every ounce of effort!

Just wanted to post and share the excitement!! If anyone's considering Lap Band...GO FOR IT, AS FAST AS YOU CAN!

I welcome all comments, questions, etc. It's a great Friday!!

Something Old, Something New

I went today to make visits to classrooms. Observing teachers is very enjoyable to me and it keeps me in touch with the 'world'. As I awaited the 12:30 clock today, I cruised down Bellfort and pulled into a Fiesta parking lot hoping I could pick up a signal for my Notebook.
Alas, not so. However, as I backed out of my distant parking space, something caught the corner of my eye. At the edge of the curb sat an aged, weather-beaten, senior adult woman. She was perched on the seat of her walker. From the blue carry bag that sat at her feet, she slowly reached inside to pull from it...a half full bottle of syrup.
Slowly and carefully she examined the contents, turning it all the way around and finishing with a gentle pat on the bottle's side. Carefully, she replaced the trashed syrup in her blue bag and began to 'fish' for another prize.
Sadness overwhelmed me as I pulled into the street to return to the campus for my visit. My thoughts rumbled and it dawned on me that we are never as 'bad off' as we sometimes allow ourselves to believe.
In the midst of gray, drizzly day...people are out searching for life. They have far less than many Americans and they are striving to survive. My main thought was shame on America. Why are so many of our own people suffering so terribly.
With the picture of that feeble, elderly shape hovering over that blue bag, I suddenly realized that a hiccup now and again means nothing. It made me even more grateful for my surgery and new lease on a good life.
Nope, I don't have all the money in the world, but I have my health back again. Folks, that accounts for everything. I take tremendous pride in striding up a sidewalk, climbing the steps to the entry and walking confidently and quickly down the school halls.
Life is what we make it or, sometimes, allow it to be. Seeing some of the sites in the somewhat 'ghetto' areas of Houston, I have a new lease of life. Don't sweat the small stuff, dance in the rain and hesitate while the wind wafts through you hair and mind.
Make it a good day or not...the choice is YOURS.

Last Day of August! Zooooom....went the summer

Wow. Where has the summer gone? It passed quickly and "I've only just begun"!! This was a tad different season, however. I loved it. With my new beginning and lap band...an entirely different complexion on each new day!

Our summer was quiet, but I loved it all due to the fact that I can move, exercise, play with the dogs or work in the yard anytime I get a whim to do so! Way different from past days, absolutely.

The top I dawned for this particular pic is a top I had purchased about three summers ago (at Dillard's)!! It had hung in my closet all this time with the price tag still attached. Yes, I was tickled to put it on for a pic!

Many of you have wondered why I haven't been showing me a lot. Well, perhaps, to me, I'm still me. I look at me everyday...but, I hope you are seeing some changes.

Each day I see a little more neck, more shoulder and less lower half! Yipes! I've been told throughout life I suffer from a particular disease...it's called 'noassatall'!! Hey, not my fault!

After puttering through Facebook daily, farming on Farmville, pimping my pad on Yoville, cleaning my FishWorld tank and playing Texas Hold 'em to the tune of a million and a half, I have been busy girl! For those of you on Facebook...salute! I love keeping in touch and seeing what all everyone's involved in. And, I love your vacation pics!

As for outstanding things ahead...nadda. Just the routine of going out and observing my teacher interns all over the Houston area. I have several and have organized files, made contacts and am in the process of preparing for first visits next week! I love it though, keeps me in touch with the educational world out there. And, sometimes, I even have some good ideas to share with the new 'kids on the block'...least, that's what they tell me!

Each night at this house, a different cuisine lately. Last night was of the Asian flair...oooolala! It was so dadgum terrific. Little, tiny meatballs made from ground chicken. And, all of the various flavors of Oriental sauces...oyster juice, fish juice, and on and on. May not sound exciting, but you oughta taste it! BAM...as my buddy Emeril would say!

I guess that's about the 'size of it' here today! Wishing everyone a great day, tremendous evening and happy thoughts! Take care and smile! Someone's always watching!

They Say A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

Well, they say, I'm not so sure...here's the before and the today. Several friends have asked where is your pic....here they are!

Today's pic (August 26, 2009) shows me in my first new, regular ladies sized outfit! Yep, I'm back and shopping at Dillard's again! Skippee Yippee!!

The close up actually shows that I'm beginning to discover a face under there! This has been a phenominal journey which began with all the requirements, testing, etc. back in July, 2008. March 12, 2009, I was banded at St. Luke's Hospital in Houston, Tx. My surgeon is Dr. Vadim Sherman, head of the DeBakey Bariatric Team there.

I'm looped into one of the latest and greatest medical establishments and complete team of professionals than I would ever have imagined! They are on 'top of it' constantly, keep a keen on me and my progress and always ask the right questions

Finally, I have myself into a routine of exercising five days a week...20 minutes with the English Bull Terrier and then 30 minutes back on the road, just me and the bike! I come in hot, sweaty and feeling like I had a workout. But, thanks to Mag-e, I get dressed first thing and we hit the road. Yeah for unconditional lovers!

For anyone reading this blog and thinking about weight issues and the possibility of doing it, all I can say is...go for it! It's constant, hard work...but the reward is life...and, life full of zest and desire to shake, rattle and roll! Don't sit and wonder if you can...go for it.

We all have one shot at life, best you give it your best shot today. Do I suffer for foods I used to live on? Nope. This is more than banding the tummy. It is a process and by the time you have worked through the weeks of liquids, pureed and soft foods...your mind has begun to shift gears! The major change is eating to live instead of living to eat and devour everything you think you want!

What do I eat? Well, today at noon, I dropped into Luby's and enjoyed a half portion of baked fish, some mashed tators and a little okra. I was full, happy and on my way. I don't drink with meals. As in the past where your liquid would wash food down, with the band, it will force it up and out. Long story...another time!

But, I've adjusted to that, I'm fine with it and continue to remain focused and dedicated to completing my goal. It's never going to be finished!! Weight and food intake is something we will deal with for the rest of our lives. No magic bullets, no easy way around it....but, normal blood sugars and blood pressure and all the rest....YOUR REWARD FOR A JOB WELL DONE!

Please, leave a comment if you wish. I often wonder what goes through all those great minds that read through this epistle!

Oh, drop by tonight, Michael's cooking Oriental flair! Yummmmm. Yes, I can eat anything, I just must choose the appropriate foods and amounts. It's a WIN-WIN...come on in, the water's fine!

Every Day, A New Day

It's Monday morning, ninish, I've just finished watching Danyl Johnson audition for American Idol judges! Watching that young teacher perform with the natural talent he possesses absolutely caused my arms to tingle. How exhilerating, to see someone step on the stage to pursue a dream.

I have several special cousins and friends who did that as well in life. They had a dream of doing something great, dug just enough coins from their pockets to get them to the first step and over the years, they have made it! And, yes, a couple, made it very big.

Dreams. That's something I never did a lot, even as a child. I'm not sure why...it was just that element missing within perhaps. Even today when someone says, "if you could travel anywhere in the world...or live anywhere in the world...or see anything in the world...what/where would it be"? My answer, I have no clue. Clueless and remarkably unexcited each time I'm confronted with such a question.

Life deals all sorts of hands on a regular basis. Sometimes, you get the best hand possible and for some reason, fold it without a second thought. I'm guilty of doing that over the years as well. Choices come in all different shapes and sizes, colors and hues and ultimate end results.

For whatever reasons, my journey has been a mixed bag. A few steps very rugged, some as smooth as silk, but always challenging in my mind. In past years, I delivered various 'workshops', sometimes to audiences of 1500. Regardless of their response throughout, their comments following, or their zestful 'thank you's' that was tremendous, I always walked away thinking, 'I missed the mark'!

I'm not sure why we do that to ourselves. But that small, inner voice sometimes commands our mind and our feelings and we give in far too easily. At 11 a.m. this morning, I see my PCP. It's time for bloodwork, face to face and general thoughts on this and that.

Following that appointment, I'll fill the day with oddities and return home to farm on FarmVille and shop on YoVille. Funny, we grow older and find interesting ways to 'fill time' and capture our 'fancy'. Excitement going on? No. Revelations coming to fruition? No. Just another day in the life and moving forward to see tomorrow arrive.

Yep, sometimes it's boring. Other times it's just status quo. But, our days are what we make them. Watching that young man on the stage this morning filled me with happiness. Yes, for him, knowing he has a complete new life ahead. How marvelous that we are all capable of stepping out and changing our life in some way.

My change is not as riveting as Danyl Johnsons's voice and natural body rythm in presentation...but, it's significant. I guess my one wish would be that I had done this years ago. Who knows, the new look, new attitude and new demeanor might have carried me miles further than I've traveled. I may have reached deep into my pockets to gather a few coins to have carried me to new places. Who knows?

Perhaps I would have been capable of 'dreaming' of things beyond belief and captured one more brass ring. As it is, I'm just very happy with myself, my hard work and my determination in this life changing process for me.

I hope all of you have captured or will attempt to capture marvelous things. Step out, choose door 1, 2 or 3 and go for it! Got any change in your pocket? It might carry you miles beyond belief.

Someone stated on the last blog, 'cute dog, but where's your picture'? We are going to take new pics soon, Michael says I look nothing like the last pics anyone has seen. So, say CHEESE!!!!!

Mine is NOT to Reason Why

Image via Wikipedia

But, I have had many folks asking 'why I chose the Lap Band'. It's time to share thoughts on the matter. Why? Because it matters to those who are considering any type of bariatric surgery for health reasons.

It's not an 'easy fix'...it's a gigantic HELP TOOL. After five fills, my band is finally monitoring my impulses and intakes as it is designed to do. The minute my tummy's full, I cease eating. If you're wondering why...because one bite too many and I'll throw up. Not a pleasant experience.

Back to the why. In my opinion, the bypass goes in and rearranges everything in there. It's an involved surgery, 2-3 hours, under anesthesia, of course, and it differs from the band as related to foods, once healed. My understanding of the bypass is that certain foods may never be visited again and the metabolic process is altered; thus, vitamin intake is paramount following that surgery.

Lap band differs in a couple of ways. The surgery lasted one hour, less 'under' time, and I went home that afternoon. After rigorous pre-op liquids for two weeks, one week post-op liquid, one week post-op pureed and one week post-op soft foods...I arrived back to the real world. There are no foods a bander can't ingest. BUT...it depends on your band, how fast/slow you eat, how thoroughly you chew and you determination to continue losing weight.

I had several health issues that were life threatening and I happened upon a very intuitive PCP (primary care physician) at Baylor College of Med that immediately recognized the value of bariatric surgery and weight loss. My BMI (body mass index) that day in July, 08, was 47. Today, it's 36. Progress with revealing numbers.

The results were immediate for me. The morning after surgery my blood pressure and blood sugars were normal. I'm officially off those meds, all bloodwork excellent and losing weight steadily. Will there be challenges for any bander? Certainly. I was plateaued for many weeks. However, with focus and continued right choices, it is melting away again.

Bariatric surgery for me was life changing, life altering and life saving. Need I say more. If you are struggling with issues, unhappy with self image, tired of tight, huge sized clothing...move forward. Inquire. My insurance covered the procedure after their required six month food management under the watchful eye of my PCP.

Cast aside the fears and tears. Buck up, step up and 'git ur dun'. One of my allies is a website called http://www.lapbandtalk.com/
Check it out and read through folks' questions, concerns, advice and more.
Another excellent blog for inspiration is http://www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com/
If you want to see success and realize why she continues successful, check out her blog, pictures of her foods cooked and her recipes. She is an inspiration to folks like myself.

You can't do this alone. It's not a magic bullet. It's hard work. You must desire to make change happen. There is no room for self-pity or excuses. Food is an addiction and remember...they operate on your tummy, not your brain. The mind will still battle over old habits. You know, they die hard!!

My enthusiasm has regenerated in the past weeks. The morning routine at our house is for Mag-e (our English Bull Terrier) and me to take a 30 minute ride/run in the neighborhood. She has come to expect it and pushes me each morning until I am dressed and ready to MOVE with her!! When are done and she has collapsed in the kitchen floor, I go back out, alone and walk for 30 minutes.

When you have a zealous, 45 pound dog leaping eye level asking 'to go'...you get ready! Her zeal for the run, her bond with myself and her expectation of pleasing me drives her animal instinct. Now I realize why we bought her last November! Her purpose was greater than I would have imagined. Thank you, Shadow Clan's Mag-e Mae...keep me movin' girl.

I now have a brisk pace embellished by raw determination. It's not easy. It's not fun. IT'S MY JOB NOW. A cap goes down on my head, my sunglasses go on the face and away I go. Upon return...sweaty, but feeling so good!

Life is the reward for this major change. Energy is the positive factor. A second chance is the bottom line. Having weight troubles? Do something about it! Quit procrastinating!

Just a sec...I need to go walk.

Pay Day is Always Fun

Image via Wikipedia

Yeah, right, like I have huge paydays any more!! LOLOL...ce la vie after retirement, folks! But, hey, life's good and I have a smile on my face, can't be all bad! My spirit is happy today...yesterday was a PAY DAY deluxe!

After being plateaued for many long, desparate weeks, I broke the barrier yesterday morning! I finally have hit my lowest number yet on the scale! And, in addition to the challenge in the past weeks, on the doc's scales, I was a couple of pounds heavier than here. However, following last fill three weeks ago, I have now dropped 6 BIG ONES!!!

Yep, go ahead...celebrate for me! I did. I danced and sang all over the house yesterday morning. I even called Michael at work to tell him the news...he chuckled because he knew I had really done what I said!!

It's been an interesting path since July, 2008. I've gone through so many changes, so many different perspectives and so many lifestyle/smart thinking paths! That's right. I find myself these days thinking long and hard prior to indulging in anything. Selective has become my key word and careful as I eat follows close behind!

Once you hit that third week after surgery, you are back to real food. Any food. All the food. You just have to be able to tolerate it without throwing up! Catching phrase, huh? Well, I've been through many dynamics in this process, but I've come to gigantic changes in my life.

I bring delicious foods that I used to inhale, home for Michael lately. I smile as he devours and I think to myself, should I have a Protein Bar or a fruit or something. You see, my miles of hard work have been life changing in so many ways.

The thought process has undergone severe re-construction, impulse eating has died (RIP) and common sense has finally stepped up to the plate (hahahah) Many folks have questioned me regarding the Lap Band and I've been honest in my replies. It's not a quick fix, magic bullet or otherwise. It's a gigantic HELP TOOL...they can't operate on your brain, but they can fix your tummy.

With the tummy the size of an egg now....I can ingest very small quantities of anything. That's okay. I stay full, I don't require constant intake like a garbage disposal and I have my health back! If you pause and study the diagram above, you'll see what Lap Band is and does. They rope off the top segment of the tummy and place a 'port' somewhere below the intial incision. Every month, I have gone in and my surgeon has input small amounts of saline into the port.

The saline travels up the tube connected to the ring around my tummy, increases that in size and reduces the size of my pouch. Does digestion occur there? Not really, it's like the Panama Canal...it holds the food in the pouch for a number of hours and slowly releases it through to the lower stomach portion.

Anyhow, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! This Lap Band experience has been the best thing I've ever done in my life! It gave me a new beginning, enriched living and has taught me new skills in the food department!

I no longer live to eat....I eat to live! No b/p meds, no blood sugar meds...and yesterday, my b/p was 120/60. What's yours?

Determination and Stealth

I planted a Crepe Myrtle in the backyard back in 198something. It was planted for my sweet mother. She loved colors, beautiful yard and all sounds of a Mockingbird. She used to say that a Mockingbird singing in the tree was a sign of good luck. Ever so often, here, at 2734, one sings loud and mimics all others. I always smile to myself and think of two things...mother and good luck!

Now, the Crepe Myrtle is living, not huge, but looking healthy. That small, baby tree sat in that ground all of these years with three small branches dancing on occasion. It didn't grow. It didn't die. It just sat. During the years of my health war, I ceased caring for my yards. I didn't water anything and I didn't care.

The small tree sat there. It never grew, but it never gave up. Back in the Fall, I told Michael, "just chop that little, stupid tree down. It doesn't do anything and I'm tired of looking at it". He turned his head my way and said, 'this little guy hasn't done anything but sit here. I'm not going to cut it down'. In my frustration, I replied, 'well, it's just stupid and I'm tired of looking at it'. Nevertheless, he moved on about his business, leaving the small tree to sit and cause me to wonder ... what the heck?

Last October, we sodded the backyard. We were both tired of looking at mostly hard dirt! The St. Augustine carpet looked so familiar and so enhanced the feel of the kitchen window view. I was exhilerated to see a yard coming back into 'shape'. Old habits die hard and I soon was back to late afternoon therapy! To take the garden hose with an excellent shower head and stand in the gentle late afternoon breeze as I water every inch of the plush green grass, plants and trees does good things for me!

That's my time to reflect, breathe fresh air and ponder life's daily business. It's my personal time and the rewards are exceptional. Each time I've watered, I've soaked the hard ground around the small tree. Suddenly, one day, it dawned on me that the stupid little tree was beginning to grow! Unbelievable!

When I told Michael it was growing, he said, 'see, it has waited all this time for you to show it you cared'. I was dumbfounded. That Crepe Myrtle is now about 4.5 feet tall with lush, heavily leafed branches bowing to and fro. I must say, I have learned heaping lessons from the small, insignificant tree.

Determination and the will to survive can carry us far. As with that small tree, my weight has resembled the stagnant, waiting results. I am pleased to say that my focus and continued hard work is finally working again. Had I given up and resolved it was just a waste of time, I would have completely defeated myself.

As it is, since my last fill, two weeks ago today, I have shed an additional five pounds! The tree is growing and I am shrinking! What a win-win at 2734 Kingfisher Dr.! Always remember that life has something good in store for you. If you're tempted to give up, give in or chop it down...hesitate. Where there's a will to survive and accomplish your goals, there will always be a way.

And, tune your ear to the trees in your yard. Listen. Is that a Mockingbird you hear?

Life's Road

I traveled to Ft. Worth/Dallas last Friday. Michael had a big job he was to finish up around Lake Livingston, so, we were both up and moving at 4 a.m. I've never been a 'morning' person all my life, so that was the first challenge!

A huge storm presented itself just the other side of Huntsville. We're talking 'could've been fish falling from the sky'...so much torrential downpour and no place to go, but straight ahead. To add to the intense experience, I was groggy! Too little sleep, too early in the day and too far to go.

Finally after almost an hour, I passed into the blue sky phase with sunbeams pouring down and drying the car off. Hallelujah, I thought! There were many cars that had pulled over on the side of the road and a couple in the median where they had lost control and slid!

Moving down the road, the rythm of country western music, the syncopated whine of the tires on the road and the bright sun (I had my Maui Jim's on) painted a warm, comfortable place within my Infiniti. Not good. I realized I was drifting ever so often, but assured myself I could do this successfully.

Just south of Corsicana I had the 'wake up call' of my life. I'm famous for sitting in my recliner and drifting, having short bursts of 'mini dreams' waft through my mind. They are brief, but most of the time, pleasant. One of those picturesque moments fell over my eyes and I was comfortable, thinking of past times. The smallest of change in the wheels of the car caused me to open my eyes! EUREEKA!

My black car was perhaps two big feet from contacting the concrete divider on the left, inside lane of I45! WHOOOSH....I rapidly steered right and came back into the center of my lane! With a lump in my throat, I quickly passed over the lanes and pulled off on the shoulder. I sat there in awe, that I had opened my eyes just in the 'knick of time'.

Pulling down to the next exit, I did so and pulled into a parking lot to sit and ponder what had just 'nearly' happened. From there on, I had no trouble staying awake and arrived at the American Airlines Training Facility for the iteach conference! I was grateful and again wondered, what is my purpose on this 'ol earth? They say everything happens for a reason! I could easily have been wiped out and never knew what hit me.

The conference was good, food fine (what little I ate), company fun and the Ganda Beads are a great conversation piece! Our prize this summer was Ganda Beads made by all the women in the village of Uganda. They sell them for $15 to raise money for education of the children. I was so smitten with them, when they announced we could purchase beads if we wished, on Saturday, I selected one more, very unique patterened piece.

I saw some very good friends we had met two years prior at the conference and we 'hooked' up for the formal dining Friday night. It made all the difference in the world, we talked, shared experiences and laughed because we were sharing 'so many things'. Marla laughed and said, 'I have no clue why I'm telling you this'! I replied, 'because we're friends! We met two years ago, this is our second encounter, thus FRIENDS'!!

Marla and Don are the kind of folks everyone needs to meet once in a while. They are down home, good 'ol country kinda folks and we fit like a glove! That was just an added, fun time during the brief conference.

As I drove south to come home, I detoured through Waco, Texas. It had been years since I visited the gravesite of my mom and dad. A few reflective moments there, and I was on the road to Humble. It was time to get home to 'children' and hubby! The children being Percy, Mag-e and Rojo, our dogs!

Amazingly, on the north side of Huntsville, a storm had moved far ahead of me. The pic of the rainbow above is what I captured as I approached the town. Of course, I'm thinking, finally, my pot of gold awaits me in Huntsville! Not to be.

Suddenly, the traffic came to a grinding HALT. Checking gas gauge, I was glad to see I had plenty. The traffic was that creepy, crawly Rita kind of moment. Finally, I could see flashing lights, EMT vehicles and tow trucks up on the rise of the highway. Sure enough, not just an accident, but a horrendous accident. Five cars were involved and I'm sure someone did not walk away from the tragedy. I thanked my lucky stars as I crept past and saw as much as I could.

Five miles down the highway, I was shocked. On the north lane side, not one, not two, but three separate accidents. The ambulances were screaming towards them and highway patrol had people standing out of the way. Humble wasn't too far off, and I was really ready to pull in my driveway!

I did. 8 p.m. Home safe and sound. As I think about the weekend, I'm pleased. Those who were seated with me at each meal were in wonder at how little I ate! Me? I was brim full. This created an entire new feeling for me. For the first time, I was the one eating the smallest amount, leaving huge helpings on my plate!

Since my fill 5 days ago, it seems to be working again! I have lost two pounds since last Wednesday! I can only eat minimal servings without question and I am exercising with Mag-e...brisk walks, daily!

Two important lessons for me in the past days....never pull over and stop during the tumultuous storm, there's a clear sky and sunshine on the other side. Life's the same way for all of us. We must keep moving forward with our goal in sight rather than be sidelined with doubt or fear. And, I am the keeper of me. My common sense and judgement are two important tools I must utilize daily to survive the challenges, struggles and changes in my life.

There were several weeks with my 'band' that would have made it simple for me to throw my hands up and pull over the shoulder and be defeated. However, I kept going. Now, it's payday! I hope for each of you that you find or have found that important 'piece' in life. If you're still searching, keep moving and keep looking. When you reach that destination, you can look back at friends or acquaintances who took the easy way out!

Best wishes for a tremendous week!

What I've Been Waiting For

I saw the surgeon on Wednesday, I was same weight as last month. Two things have happened since that day...

He filled me with another whole cc, which he said was a lot! I'm now at 8 cc...and, the band is marching! The difference is the restriction is finally there. For example, I've been on liquids until this morning (Wednesday night and yesterday) because the tummy has to have healing time after each fill. I made a piece of cheesetoast because that's a fave food of mine.

I ate three fourths of it and suddenly, the stop sign went up from the band! Had I eaten another bite, it would have been my regret! So, it's finally coaching and doing it very well.

Mag-e and I started Obedience Training last Monday night. I work her at least 20 minutes each late afternoon. We walk at very brisk pace and are both dripping with sweat and heated to furnace level at the end of it.

Since Wednesday at 2:15, the scales are down 4.2 pounds. Me thinks we're back in the game, I'll keep ya posted!!

Happy Friday and good huntin'!

A Brighter Monday

Beautiful Bouganvillia hanging in my backyard. This was two weeks ago as it began to really bloom. Today, kapow! It's kickin' and growin' and lookin' gorgeous. Gotta luv it.

Following the death of my sweet mother, I faded into some dark shadows for a couple of years. Percy, my shuga man, was a little light in my life, and he worked hard to turn me around.

It finally happened. Life was re-ordered, smile back in place and moved ahead. But, during those times of shadows, I neglected everything (except Percy) that had been important to me. My yards had been a priority and the beauty of the plush yard was like my own park. For three to four years however, I neglected it all. No water, no love, no talk, no grass!

After Michael came into my life, we both finally decided it was TIME to get the green back in view. The backyard was sodded last October, I've tended it well and it has flourished beyond belief. It's similar to life. We must nourish what's of value and allow it to thrive and grow, being enriched on daily basis.

Hard work and determination over the past years...through health issues...have brought me to this place today. Yesterday, "A Rough Night in Jericho"...today, all's better. I will have those valleys and watch some clouds gather. The important aspect of it all is to recognize the time to act and move forward.

Saturday's post was a small piece of past memories coupled with today's life stressors. There are several folks reading this blog, and one of those 'special friends' posted a comment on the last post. One illuminous, glaring piece of 'go get 'em and keep your chin up' rang true. For that, I thank her a multitude of times.

Today, I have a brighter me 'in place'. It makes all the difference in the world, don't we all know. The yard's are tended, the plants are fed, I managed to get a delicious piece of 'cheese toast' (one of my faves) down without any rebellion from tummy and my happy is returning.

Who knows why we ebb and flow? Who knows how we all handle life stressors? Who knows how challenging each day will be? Who knows if they're job will be secure tomorrow? Who knows some of the grief our family and friends deal with daily? Not me. I only know that life's on a new course, new destination and a heck of turn around.

In no way will I allow me to falter in this quest. Yep, there have been various challenging events in the past months. And no, not all related to being banded. It's just the rythm of life's synchronized patterns. Crescendo's go wild and suddenly the soft, playful side kicks in. Through each day, it's a must that folks recognize and zone in on the truly significant portions and fill 'er up.

Yep, I had some clouds on my horizon last week. They had been gathering in the distance for a while. Today, it's like partly cloudy, but a really nice day to begin this week. And, btw, a special cousin sent an email after last Saturday's post. I thank him for that. A comical 'run in' with a DETECTIVE over a stop sign in his neighborhood prompted a hilarious description from him.

We must always remember that we have family and friends standing in the wings, ready to charge and stand with us if we need it. Life moves in many concentric circles. Many of those overlap and some stand alone. For me, life is made of many islands. Church is one, home is one, the mall is one, etc. My island(s) generate a zest for life.

Let go and experience some of the better parts of each day. I'm 'on the road again'. I see my surgeon Wednesday at 2:45 and get the fourth fill. Who knows what's ahead after that? Success, for certain; hard work, of course; new clothes, always!

Have a marvelous Monday, a tremendous week and coke, with a smile!

See ya round the corner.

Family is a given, but good, good friends are a luxury. I appreciate you all!

Just A Drive by

Well, it's hot in Houston and that leads to staying inside most of the time. I haven't written in a long while and there may some wondering what's the deal. The deal is...life, stressors, challenges, daily stuff getting in the way and dog paddling on course.
The folks I bowl with are still smiling over my changed looks. They call me 'skinny' and smile from ear to ear. I am a much smaller me than in the past and I'm still very pleased with that. However, you've heard the term 'stuff happens' -- it does.
And, lately 'stuff' has been getting in the way. Momentarily, I guess I've lost the 'happy' in my eyes and smile. Not sure where it's retreated, but I'm sure it will return one of these days. So, a picture is worth a thousand words, but I refuse to post a smile without 'happy' attached.
I'm searching for it high and low with confidence it's within reach. When I find it, I'll share it again. Until then, I'm continuing to do various things in order to 'jump start' the loss again.
I hope every reader is having a great summer of fun...perhaps traveling or engaged in a new project you love.
For me, I'll keep searching until I recapture the happy piece of my life. Until then, if you run into that 'piece', would ya send it UPS special delivery? It'll be appreciated.

Summer Reflections

Image by sυρея маҳч © via Flickr

June, it's never been this hot this early before! The days are sizzlin' and so am I! Yesterday presented an opportunity for some self reflection in this journey. When I put the calculator to the figures, I'm really on course with all of this.

To date, I've actually lost .44 pounds per day. That's taking the 46 divided by number of days, etc. And, inches have dropped...30+. Size is still changing and so am I.

I have made an important change backwards. With bariatric surgery of any kind, many folks get consumed with protein, protein, protein. In short, that can be highly detrimental. Following some in-depth research on this topic, I've concluded that 50 grams of protein per day is very adequate for banded people. Previously I was working to consume 70-90 per day. That's a lot!

Thus, I've reintroduced fruits into my daily diet and have diverted my attention from the Protein bars. I will have one ever so, depending on daily schedule and what's going on, but, I am in the MENTAL WAR and striving to break habits again. Three meals a day and one interesting snack is a must for me. I've kicked up my coffee and some other drinks with Torani Sugar Free Syrups. Great flavors and fun tastes. For those dealing with Starbucks habits, try some of these...you can copy what you order at the counter!

As I shopped in Randall's yesterday, I hesitated at the blood pressure machine. The person before me had a nice reading, left open to see, and I pumped me up! It was kina good...111/60!! Need I say more?

These little things are the driving forces in my life change today. That b/p is without any scripts for over three months now. My BMI has dropped by 11 points and my walkig abitlity is normal. Anytime Michael says, "man, you're flyin', I'm havin' to really walk fast to keep up with you"...you know you've improved drastically. And that's just shopping the grocery stores and Walmart!!

The past several days I've been opening the http://www.lapbandertalk.com/ site. There are so many curious people, experienced people, lost in the dark people and the list goes on. A positive part of that for me today is the simple goodness in seeing what others are struggling to overcome or accomplish in their battles. My other support site is http://www.obesithelp.org/. When I go through before and after pics of fat folks, I get pumped! I'm on my way!

Since the last fill, my eating has improved greatly, meaning, 99% goes down and stays down! I'm not sure what's changed, but something's different. I return on the 15th for fill number 4 and that should be a real winner. If I'm not right at the 'spot', I'm within inches of it. We'll see what comes from next fill.

As I reflect over the past many years in this battle of the bulge, I always return to age 10/11. That was a summer of very hard work, not only on my part, but my mother's as well. We left Hillcrest hospital that spring with a 1000 calorie, very strict diet. And, I do mean diet! But, by the Fall of my Jr. High beginning, I was a skinny minny.

It's always important to realize what our good health means to those who love us. Michael is excited over this trek. He has seen the 'other' me, locked in a recliner. Yes, he's the nephew of the world reknown chef, James Beard and yes, the food is superb in this house. If you google James Beard, you will see an older version of my husband, Michael!!

In his twenties, Michael attended Paul Prudhomme's Cooking School in New Orleans. Can you say 'cajun flavors'? Can you say blackened anything? Can you say gumbo to lay down and die for? Sauces are a specialty of my husband. Prior to banding, yum and more yum. He still does sauces, but minus the butter...shucky dern!

He cooks now with all the flavors, seasonings, fresh basil, etc and the taste is to die for. Dinner last evening was tender, juicy, Delmonico steak, seared romaine (off the grill) and baked potato. We split one steak, we split one potato and we each had a serving of the romaine. The steak was topped with mushrooms prepared with salt, pepper, sauteed onions, soy and balsamic vinegar (for acidity)!! If you need a superb sauce for your steak, get the skillet down and do it!!

Our meals are free of heavy fat, butter, oil, etc. Clean cooking and something to look forward to each evening. The only problem with me these days....some days I have no desire to even speak of food. On those days, we do our 'own thing' and graze. However, there is a danger in grazing. If you're not careful, you can get way off track.

For my sweet tooth, I eat Teddy Grahams, sugar free fudgecicles, sugar free popsicles, sugar free jello and sometimes, Graham cracker. Lately, bananas and apples are back in and I found a Marzetti's 100 calorie fruit dip. I use about a half of one of those for fruits. So, now, you have some insight on banded Pat!

Do I suffer frustration with all of this? YES AND YES, AGAIN. Do I sometimes withdraw from the world with this? Yep. But, I always refocus and jump back on track. This is a journey for a bander, not a destination. This is not a magic fix...the conciensious part of this journey must stay in tact until "death do us part". This will go on the REST OF MY LIFE. Now you understand the importance of strong mental attitude and self control.

Cheer for those you know who are battling weight. Offer words of encouragement. Develop a bit of empathy for those folks because...until you've walked a mile in their shoes, you KNOW NOTHING!

Pay it forward this week and smile at a stranger! And, if you see a sweet little senior adult struggling in the aisle of the supermarket, offer a kind gesture. You know not what they're going home to face.

Dear Lap Band

Image via Wikipedia

I've crossed many bridges in the past weeks and months. Thanks to you, the crossings are getting somewhat easier with each new dawn. Changes of the mind, heart, body and perspective morph with each night's sleep and bring new expectations to life within me.

Bringing you into my life has been the best thing I've ever done for myself. Often I wonder, why didn't I do this sooner? I'm sure though that there are many times we simply find it hard to embrace the possibilities of something so life-changing happening to us. I did.

But, thanks to you...life's very different today. This was my first day back to the Family Life Center at church to begin my walking program. There was a time in the Fall, 04 where I would go to walk and only complete a quarter lap before having to stop and 'suck' in oxygen to be able to go again. By springtime, 05 I was somewhat better. I could walk in half-laps with breathing intervals in between. I thought I was doing someting!

Today, after March, 09 surgery and quick loss of 46 pounds, I hit the floor decked out in new gym shoes and new attitude. I began my walk at 12:15, walking just a tad above a strong slow walk...crossed back over the beginning after lap one, still breathing very well.

Lap 2, lap 3, lap 4...took a brief pause just 'cause. Wow! 4 solid laps without thinking twice! I'm stoked. I continued and did the next four...same repeat. When 20 minutes had passed, I had done a mile and a tenth. Now, for many readers, that's nothing. To a person coming back into life at age 60, that's pretty darn terrific.

In addition to that good news, I thank you personally for the following....
being able to pull and buckle my seatbelt (like normal folks do)
being able to sit comfortably in the movie chairs and smile...I fit
the ability to sit in a booth in any establishment (no embarrassment of hesitating when asked)
not having people stare at me on the mall or in a restaurant
being able to buy real clothes again...not being limited to Cahterine's for big chicks!
putting on tennis shoes, bending my knee to cross the other, no pain, no fuss
being able to lay down and breathe easy, sleeping soundly all night long
the ability to cross my legs again
being able to prop a foot up on my recliner and sit comfortably for a great change
fitting in the store bathroom stalls (yep, that's a challenge for a fat gurl)
the ability to walk among folks on the mall or whereever, matching their normal pace
(I've had many past days prior to where I became an expert at disguise...pretending to browse while my lungs 'caught up'...no need for that now)
having a smile that causes some friendly waves in my cheeks, meaning their gettin' skinny
having friends comment on 'how great you look'....they can see I'm healthy again
and, if I ever fly again, I can buckle that dang seatbelt and PULL IT TIGHTER!!! yeeehaawww

You have been instrumental in the physical changes in my life. The rest of the story is up to me. Although I fight the BRAIN WAR daily, I am abiding by the new required protein rules and such. I do have times where my mind urges me to snack, graze, have crunchies, etc...Remember, you fixed my tummy...you didn't adjust my mind!!

And, so, it was a time to say thank you in a different way. I anxiously await more time to pass and see where I go with all of this new life. The best part is to understand how valuable every day is to me now. Not wasting breath nor movement is essential and keeping it tuned to activity a priority.
My sweet mother had a fantastic life phrase regarding life..."it's all about quality, not quantity".
I've recaptured the quality, now I'll move forward and see what the quantity meter allows!

All of these things are due to your positive effects and again, I say thank you from my much better working heart!!

I close with a smile,

Pat
personal goal...to PAY IT FORWARD!!!!!!!

Reflections of the BEGINNING

In the Fall of 2008, my life really began to change. I was still miles from the actual surgery, but appointments, advice, workshops and more began to fill my calendar. Change was in the wind and on the horizon. My thoughts began to meld into 'We've got trouble, right here in River City...' life had dealt me a tricky hand, but the MUSIC MAN was going to bale me out!

As I met with each individual on my diverse TEAM of BCM professionals, new thoughts began to infiltrate my mind. It was coming clear that major changes in attitude, choices and old habits had to made a complete 360 in order to facilitate success over the coming months.

Although a challenging process, a very rewarding process as well. Many people struggle with habits daily, no, they're not having surgery for their weight issues, but, still age and habits strongly affect us as we grow older.

A few tips given me in the early stages were:

Do not eat while you're doing something else. Eat at a certain place -- your special place! My special place is at the dining room table. Forget the television...you are EATING.

Knock out poor habits. I was in the teaching profession for 30 years. We had 20 minute lunches and had to be back in class on the bell!! Can you say SCARF? Slow down and take a long time to chew, think about texture and flavor and get some pleasure out of your food.

Do not keep high calorie foods available! Plan your meals, create your list before you walk through the door and stick to it! Low caloried snacks such as pretzels, graham crackers and fresh veggies and fruits work!

Increase your activity! Make 10,000 steps a day your goal! Sneak in exercise by parking at the end of the big lot...walk, walk, walk! Walk at a faster pace and use the stairs instead of the elevator!

8 cups of water a day is a MUST! Drinking water, refreshes, creates a healthier you and will drecrease your capacity for snacks!

Be honest with yourself.

Those things initiated change in my life. At first, I flirted with them. Then, I became interested in it all. Finally, I put most of it into action! Becoming healthy is hard work and it's 24/7. If you can't engage your mind, body and spirit in the essentials, you will suffer defeat!

Fuel was added to my fire with the letter from Aetna to my Primary Care Physician, Dr. Rogers. My BMI was 47.71 which is greater than 35 compatible with the medically significant obesity and 40 or greater indicating morbid obesity. Well, if that wasn't enough of an insult and eye-opener...try more from the letter...

"This patitnet has tried numerous methods to lose weight in the past without lasting success including Atkins, Jenny Craig, Sugar Busters, T.O.P.S. and Weight Watchers. She has always lost weight but has been unable to sustain the loss always gaining more than was lost".

Here's a list of my co-morbidities:

1. Diabetes Type II

2. Hypertension

3. Secondary Pulmonary Hypertension

4. Congestive Heart Failure

5. Sleep Apnea on bipap machine nightly

6. Hyperlipidemia

7. Restless Leg Syndrome

I had all qualifying co-morbidities that insurance companies consider. Insulting to myself! To see my history in print was SHOCKING in more ways than anyone will ever know. I am proud to say today, my BMI is down to 37.2! Thank you for your applause!

My weight is down 46 pounds and smiling.

My blood pressure has been normal since the day after...no more meds...per my PCP.

My blood sugar has been normal since the day after...no more meds...per my PCP.

My lungs are functioning normally these days...can do a flight of stairs and keep sailing.

Cholesterol is down to 179.

All of the above should enlighten you and perhaps offer some insight to your personal journey with weight. Significant changes in your lifestyle today can afford you an enriched life in the coming future. Think of your children and grandchildren. Now you know they're all going to do some fantastic things in life. Stick around, get a healthy snack and watch their lives unfold. Hey, without you, they wouldn't be able to entertain ya!!!

Change, Challenge, Choice

Seasons mean change. We deal with marvelous cool days, sweltering hot days and very few ice cold days in the great city of Houston, Texas. But, change is inevitable and we must go with the flow. In the long, blistering days of summer in Texas, I must be brave! Honestly, the heat can almost take your breath away.

Over the course of time, however, we find a happy place and make it through a better person, perhaps. This is a new season in my life. For those folks who've been following since July, 2008, you've had perspective and insight on some of my thoughts and challenges. However, here's the new change that has taken place since surgery.

My personality. That's right. My husband, Michael and I have had very lively discussions regarding the 'new me'. It's all good, but, according to him, "you are not the same person I married"! That's right, I've lost half a person...getting close to one, real new one. Attitude's affected with all of this as well. I've always been assertive and I guess...IT'S BAAAAaaaccckk!

So what has brought that discussion into focus? I've always been a mover and a shaker. But for the past three years, each day had incarcerated me as a 'prisoner of my recliner'. When you don't have adequate oxygen saturation, you're hesitant to take too many steps. And, when you do, you pause frequently to allow the lungs to CATCH UP!

Well, folks, that's a tremendous difference in me today. I do have oxygen supply. I do have energy. I do have a desire to run and gun! Much of this causes 'stress' in the living of each day. To sit in front of the television for a long period of time now is a challenge to me. And, so, in the past...if I had excess energy or needed to burn any 'anxious' moments -- I IRONED!! These days, I clean, I do laundry, I reorganize closets, I take 'junk' out of rooms and store it and the list goes on!!!

You read that one right as well. It was just a 'thang' I did. Back then, the ironing was connected to stressful moments over a parent struggling to live. Those were tough days and they had to be dealt with in order to stay on track!

A major change for me today is food. Appearance. Taste. Nutritional qualities. Amount. Does it sound good or not necessary. These things are hard for you to understand. However, food has become a means to live. My role's reversed and I no longer live to eat. It does, though, affect the one(s) you live with!!! And, at times, it's very aggravating to Michael.

Remember, I'm filling a 4 ounce pouch. Doesn't take much. Needs to be protein rich and little or no carbs! Aggravating? Perhaps. Essential? Absolutely.

And, so, I will work on my new attitude daily, but I will remain constant in my personal needs and desires at the dining table! I don't wish to waste time. Junk food is in days gone by. Hello new life. Hello new body. Hello new attitude (can't hep it). And, hello WORLD! Pat's here to stay!

One final note for today. I've come to the 'fork in the road' where I settle into slow weight loss. Hopefully, 5 pounds a month, according to Dr. Sherman. And, so, that's very acceptable. I had a whirlwind beginning. Surpassed all others 'coming out of the gate' and left them in my tracks! It's been a mind changing battle...but, it takes time and thanks to the great Baylor College of Med Team...I THANK I HAVE SUM TIME!!!

Third Fill Today...I'm Runnin' in High Again!

Image by oOElenaOo via Flickr

Greetings on a very hot June afternoon! My visit went well with Dr. Sherman today. I had LOST 2 pounds and he was pleased. Our discussion focused on now, perhaps, I'm to the point where possibly 5 or more will drop per week.

As I've stated prior to today...this is all a P R O C E S S!! Although I had pounds pour rapidly immediately after this dance began, it had to slow at some point! My spirits are lifted again and I'm prepared to boogie on down the path!

My compliments to all of my surgical 'team' at BCM! Those are some of the most wonderful people in the world. One thing I didn't realize when this began that I suddenly was wrapped in my own little world of tremendous doctors and specialists! What a change in this kids life!!

Dr. Sherman's 'right arm' came into the exam room after the stick and fill. It was necessary for me to change next month's appointment due to a weekend trip to Dallas. iteachTEXAS is having our annual Conference and, although I tried to skip, I was informed it was a necessary thing!! Monica is so terrific.

As she opened my FILE to check numbers/stats and such, we began a discussion. They always begin with "how are you doing"? My reply is always with a smile..."I'm great. I've had early success and tremendous health rewards"! Then, she said, "it's your three month, I need new pics before you leave"! OMG!

She showed me the two original pics of me the week before surgery. Holy cow!! I looked like death dressed in all black as I always wore in past days!! Unbelievable!! Yes, there's a new me and I can't wait for the next several months to walk by.

Today, I understand. I know where I'm at in this scenerio, I know that I'm into the right hand lane for slow traffice (and, that's okay) ... but most of all ... I know this is still the best thing I have ever done in my entire life!!!

May each of you have something remarkable happen in your life this week. Matters not if it's simple or complex ... it just matters that something happen! Wishes for a great weekend!

It's Fun Being 'Normal'

The big 'share' for tonight is the latest and greatest regular fitting! Until you've been there, you may not understand the joy in this thought.

I can sit down in the car seat, pull the belt across my lap, buckle it without flinching. Until the past few weeks...its was pull the belt, shift all the fat to the right or left out of the way of the seat belt catch and then struggle to find the hole!! What a pleasure to be an average bear these days in many different ways!

We bowled today, as with each Thursday. That is another fascination with me now. My high game today was 217!!!! Folks, I feel 'normal' when I bowl now. My approach is smooth, there's no 'side baggage' that gets in the way of my swing and it all JUST WORKS!!!

It's also a pleasure to be sitting anywhere...and be able to fold my foot under me or fold both feet in the chair to get comfortable. Crossing legs these days is very comfortable and it offers an entirely new style when out in public...church, etc. These are mundane things to all of those folks who've never struggled with obesity. For the obese person, these are the things of life that all long to perform in a normal capacity.

Anyhow, just an enlightenment for the week and --- I get my third fill tomorrow morning at 10:45!!! I am so hoping this will create the SWEET SPOT and shove me back into the moving on down mode!!

This plateau has been challenging, to say the least. The mental and emotional upheaval it has brought into life is unbelievable. Now, understand, I'm still well pleased with great health! I just have been frustrated doing it all 'right' and remaining still. I've tracked my calories, cut my intake to a limited number of times a day, chugged gallons and gallons of water and still, about the same.

Lap band is definitely LIFE CHANGING and a monumental LEARNING CURVE in life day in and out!! It has also affected my personality somewhat with newfound energy and ability to 'perform' many different tasks these days. I stay in a go, go, go mode and find it very difficult to 'stall' and SIT in the front of the tv now. Thus, many changes, multiple challenges and hills to climb!!

Cross your fingers and your toes for the FILL!! Here's to getting it put in "D" FOR DRIVE!!

Down to the Nitty Gritty

I attend a once a month meeting down at Baylor College of Med. It's on the first Thursday of each month, 11th floor conference room from 6-7 p.m. This last meeting was the most beneficial of all I've attended.
Lin Lin, our Nurtritionist, had enlisted a rep from Johnson and Johnson to come and tutor us in the computer program Realize My Success. It was great. I now know how to work every component of the program, thus, I'm planning my day of eating and tracking calories. I can also plug in whatever exercise I accomplish and it figures the amount of calories burned!
These days find me ultra active. The weather is gorgeous and my energy is high, so I'm on the go. Michael doesn't enjoy 'on the go' unless there's a purpose...so, I say later and hit the road most every day.
Yesterday I was in the mood to bowl again. We have a Wilson Road Bowl right near the house...off I went. I bowled alone for 45 minutes, worked up a sweat and enjoyed the activity. Scores were 148, crap, 169. It took me a while to figure their lanes out! Regardless, great movement.
The scale had dropped back to my old -46 mark. That was good. Hoping to see a slight drop again in the morning. I'm now holding tight to 1050-1200 calories per day. Since I have use of the program, it's easy...and, I've taken time to plug in my favorite things I use regularly so I have an accurate accounting for the day's intake.
Things I've learned:
lap band is exciting; lap band is not a magic key; lap band is a tremendous tool; the beat goes on and one must work hard to stay lean 'n mean on calorie count; eating tiny bites is the key; eating slowly and chewing forever a must; throwing up is not a fun experience; and....
the best thing I've learned is this -- my pouch is about the size of an egg. It takes very little food to FILL IT. Thus, really no hunger pains...and, I've learned to fill my time between meals with stuff rather than food.
Bottom line...there is NO QUICK FIX in the world and battle of weight. Determination, stick to itness and personal goals are what drive the beast! I have lost the 46 and I wish to lose 82 more.
Today, I began on the north side of Conroe at an Outlet Shopping Center. I ran into a Lane Bryant store and strolled in. Before I knew it, I had three new tops (big sale) and one of those is a Peasant Blouse. When I tried it on, I was smilin' like the Mississippi! 46 pounds ago, I would have looked like a beached whale in that top. Today, pretty dang good! BOUGHT IT!
From there, I surfed lots of places, coming back down to the Woodlands and making a couple of stops. I'm in the process of adding color to the kitchen and it's fun to browse and shop for eye catching things as we've all done forever.
Finally, around 4:15, I pulled back into the drive at home. One of the neatest things that happened today was at Home Goods. I heard a voice say, 'put that down lady' and I turned to see one of my old bestest buddies from Coordinator days. It was Sharon Sterchy, my counterpart from Aldine ISD. Wow! We were both so excited and the last she had seen of me was back in the Spring of 2002.
Yes, she was tickled too death at my appearance and she commented on how healthy I looked! We exchanged phone numbers and hugged again before parting to continue our stealth shopping!
There have been a few days that 'life 101' has infringed on my focus with my new challenge here. However, I've finally targeted some major things and have started carving my map and staying focused on my mission. Have I had some down days? Certainly. Have I been confused from other's adivce at times! Of course! Doesn't matter. I've finally come to know that this is my band, my mission and my decisions.
Success lies down the road, around the bend at the top of the hill where that big 'ol country house sat! During my teen years living on that farm, I was a skinny minny!! My map is leading me there again.
Stay tuned...and come along with me. We'll 'follow the yellow brick road, ah hah'!
Have a great Sunday and do something special for yourself!
Oh, one other thing. I finally bought a new 'over the shoulder bolder holder'!!! Yep, new bra! Now, tsk, you might say. Folks, it's 4" smaller than the old one and do THE GIRLS EVER STAND SO PROUD! lololololol I know, a little humor, but...come on!!! That's the breast, I mean best I can do at this hour!

Friday...and, so?

Nothing big going on. I've been on a plateua for a few weeks. Bored with that and aggravated. Made some changes three days ago and saw the first results this morning. Because of the band, I was taking in 5-6 small meals a day.
No, I have not ever gone back to nasty habits like fast food junk or bad things. But, I think all of us must be mindful of every morsel we slip between the lips for pleasure. I've taken me to three meals a day (basically, 4 oz. each maybe a little more on a good day) and one snack. I like to save that for night and television. Old habits die hard.
The game now is between mind and body. Gray matter has a way of eating away at you saying, it's time for a crunchy snack or something. So, the battle rages and I have finally put that under control with mind over matter.
There is no way I would ever back track with weight gain! My health is the prize and the energy I have again is tremendous. Now, if I had wealth, I'd be on the road most of the time seein' the sights! lolol
Things come and go each day. Trial and tribulation. Sometimes, those occur more often than we care to think about. Had a few of those in the past days. Guess I'm the better for any of it...I've become a person who 'grows' from each new thing that crosses my path.
Not too many complaints after a clean bill of health from my PCP last week and a clean bill of health on the eyes, one more time. I still use readers for the print and get aggravated at putting on taking off, but, ce la vie or "status quo"! After picking out a cool pair of glasses for a very slight script (if I wanna), the total came to $1016.00. Didn't take me long to look at 'that horse shoe"...old family joke!
Think about it -- a red hot horse shoe -- pick it up and SLAM IT DOWN!!! Ouch and ouch again!
This morning's nice surprise was ...
the 2-4 pounds I've been seesawing with for weeks....up, then down, then a little up, a little down....and, for the past several days...stuck at UP! Talk about frustrating.
This morning's delight...those 4 pounds were G O N E!
"The rain in Spain, stays mainly on the plainnnnn" -- I THINK I'VE GOT IT!!
Have a nice Friday and a nicer weekend!

Memorial Day

Well, it's been a day in the 'life of'. Nothing exciting, just the same stuff. Still stuck...and, just as a catch up for the readers...yesterday was VOTING DAY!

Yep, everything that went down, came BACK UP FOR VOTE! Uggghhh....oh well, nuff said. Don't have to fret over calories this way! Today, two things have stayed down. Perhaps I'll get to enjoy the evening meal as well. If not, fruite smoothies are wonderful, icey and a treat!

It doesn't matter. After the first few weeks and episodes of coming 'backatcha' a few times, food seems to lose all importance. I watch the food channel now and look at things thinking, nope, it'd just come back...too stubborn...the band, that is.

Anyhow, hope all had a nice day. Catch ya on the flip flop!

My Little Heartbeat

Several who read this blog know this little happy guy!

Percy, my little white 'angel boy' came to me in April, 2000. He has been my 'heartbeat', my buddy, my best friend and the greatest therapy anyone could wish for. After living with me for her final 27 years, my sweet mother passed in March, 2000.

Approximately one month later, I bought this little guy, weighing two pounds and able to fit in the palm of my hand. Now he hasn't just been a pet. This bundle of joy took me through some dark days filled with more grief than one should face.

For that reason, Percy and I have been connected to each other's heart like no other dog I've ever owned! Folks, that's saying a lot! Life's twists are so strange. Five years ago I dealt with heart issues and congestive heart failure. Not today...it's behind me and I have my health back. Two years ago, that little guy developed issues with congestive heart failure.

He's been on heart med and diuretics for many, many months. I had begun to notice a change in his gait, his activity and his breathing. And, about six months ago, he started sitting like a LITTLE BEAR BOY almost 24/7. Yes, we're tight!

We saw Dr. Key yesterday morning, our 'ol friend and vet for many years. According to him, Percy's health is failing and all of these 'things' he does now is to help him breathe easier. I stood there with tears running down my cheeks as Dr. Key talked about his heart and all. Finally, I asked, 'in medical terms on a scale of 1-10, where is he right now'? Mike dropped his head and slowly looked up at me as he said, 'he's a three, it's not good'.

According to Mike, I must decide if I'm now doing this for ME or for PERCY. His little dog life has not been quality for a long time now and it's declining rapidly. Many thoughts raced through my mind as I drove home. Most of all, I don't want my 'heartbeat' to suffer. A big decision lies ahead. And, yes, he's just a pet, but my pets have all been far more than 'just a pet'. And, remember, this little guy brought me back into life after a great loss in life.

As I ponder this situation, somehow I query, 'how is that Percy developed the same issues I was dealing with? How is it that suddenly, my life has been restored to new levels and his life is now in decline? Was that just random events or can there be more to this puzzle'? I'm not sure to be honest. All I know is that a faithful pet will go any extra mile for the owner he's devoted to.

No, there will be no quick action taken here. It's a game now of keep him comfortable, watch him daily to see what else changes and go from there. You see, his balance is not what it used to be either. If he stumbles and falls on his side, he fights and claws the air frantically to 'right' himself to no avail. Percy is my heartbeat and somehow, I think he literally took over my issues to give me a second chance.

Probably sounds 'way out there' to some who read this column, but matters not. As I've struggled yesterday and today over his doctor's report, I visited my PCP for the first time since December, 08. HE WAS BLOWN AWAY! It's enchanting to see a doctor's face light up and the biggest 'ol smile break across his lips!

All of my blood work was tremendous. Everything is in the right place number wise and I've been officially removed from diabetic status, diabetic meds and blood pressure meds! Dr. Rogers and I celebrated with big HIGH FIVE when he pronounced me normal.

That's what this is all about! Life changing. Life giving. My heart sags heavily though over my little Percyman. Life long attachment to a pet is a tough row to hoe when the weather gets stormy. I celebrate, I anguish. I laugh, I cry. I look forwad to the coming months, I dread the coming weeks.

And who knows...he may outlive us all. His name came from a special place. Two days before our mother passed, she raised her head and starred intently at the foot of her bed. She did this two times in a row as I sat beside her sterile bed in the hospital room. We were in the hospital for eight of the longest weeks of my life. I was studying her profile knowing her days were numbered.

After her intense stare, I stood and said, 'mother, who were you looking at'? She muttered, lack of air, 'percy'...I said, 'WHO'? You see, there was no Percy in our family and no Percy in our lives! If you're on the same page, you've already arrived. I think Percy was an Angel who had come to ready her for the coming hours. Those were about the last words she uttered prior to that late Thursday afternoon.

And, so, Percy, my little white angel boy, had a purpose in his beautiful life. He has served it well and far beyond the call. I shall see him through until whenever and speak sweet dog things to him. After all, he understands many, many words and thoughts!

Until the time is upon us, he will feel the gentle touch of my hands, hear familiar words in voice and get premium hugs throughout the days. What a pleasure he has been...and what a job he has done! And, it has all been due to unconditional love for his master...we have literally traveled many, many miles together. His shining moment was as we fled the hurricane two years ago.

He lay in the passenger seat on his soft bed pillow...he understood something was wrong...but he took his lead from my smile each time he lifted his heavy eyelids to check me out. It took us 16 hours to travel 67 miles to Huntsville. He asked to potty once after we had been inching our way along...nine hours after we left our home!! A smart fella!

One step at a time. One day at a time. Whatever comes around the next bend in the road, we'll deal with it and move forward. I hope your health is good, your heart is happy and your will to survive, endless.