Life has many twists and turns, ups and downs and sometimes, the most challenging 'roller coaster' ride you could ever experience. Through those times, my heart has felt, my eyes have observed, my ears have listened and my realization has struck home. In this world, there is no one willing to aide, assist, care for or rescue any struggling individual very often in life.
Much of my life, I have given love, offered financial support, rescued some when they were sinking and taken college kids to the grocery store to put food in their kitchens. Due to my childhood and the many experiences throughout the years, I became a very caring woman. Many times I offered kindness and love to Aunts and Uncles...helping with health care issues or escape from threatening situations.
Those things came from the heart...for, there is no other place from which it boasts. There are no regrets over any of the things I have done in the past, the love I've shared, the care I've shown; however, as I've grown older (and wiser) it has become so very clear that, regardless of the good deeds from days gone by, everyone in this world is in this world for SELF.
The past year has been excessively challenging and, at times, cruel for me. I've gone through experiences I never thought or imagined would cross my life. Following divorce, failing in the financial department and having the threat of possibly being without a comfortable intern assignment....my future appeared bleak last August.
I panicked, as do many people. My first instinct was FLIGHT. Instantly, I was going to walk away from my home and search for a different way to 'make it.' No, I've never missed a house or car payment in my entire life nor have I ever made those payments late. My parents instilled strong character traits within my soul and they have guided me throughout life.
When I realized the challenge that confronted me, I reached out...call it desperation...call it frantic reaction....call it fear of living 62 years and becoming an instant failure statistic.
After all, having a 'giving' heart all of my life and having done many things for many people, I suppose I expected someone to ride in on a big, white, shining stallion and issue the call..."I'm here to save you ... I will help you move beyond this chasm!" Ha! Who was I kidding?
My inner self wanted to believe, that as a single woman who had (I thought) been an important piece of a great family 'line'...someone would toss me a line, even if it was short and temporary. Funny, how we see life from our inner perspective. Suddenly, I realized as I heard relatives say, "Oh, Pat, I'm so sorry...I can't believe this is happening to you..." followed with their deafening silence which transmitted, 'but you're on your own. I hope it gets better, and we love you so much, but, keep swimming and working to get out of this hole."
During the past months, I have come to the stark realization that (especially as a single person with no children)...you only have two feet to carry you and if/when you stumble, crawl, if you must, but everyone will be watching and cheering. Nah, they're not coming to offer help, they just want to LOVE YOU. Words are cheap in life. Actions share the true meaning of those we know and care for.
My past months have reminded me of my years in high school. I had a car. The others didn't. My car was full every time it left the parking lot. Hey, stylin'...besties...NOT. After graduation, I began to hear of weddings of those I thought were my friends. Not only was I not invited to participate in those weddings, I was not even invited to those weddings. That, was a very rude awakening.
One day, at the mailbox, I hesitated as I read the return address on an envelope. When I opened the envelope, I found a hundred dollar check ... over the next two months, I received two more of those miraculous gifts. Just enough to keep me going until my next retirement check 'hit' the account. To me, that was a tremendous gift and vote of confidence in my ability to survive.
For others...I guess I became a new 'threat' on the horizon. Single, divorced, struggling, why did she even tell us...and more. I've fought my battle, and, for some reason, won one more time. Remembering the 'fire' in my mother and the things she dealt with after the death of daddy, she was a survivor...I could be as well.
As one final brick was shot at head level (home owners insurance), a very dear, best friend saved my life. She was my 'safety net'...the only one I've been privy to in my entire life. And, I understood what a really best friend was/is. Yes, I had gone and sat in the waiting room months ago as she underwent breast cancer surgery. I've done that for family all the years of my life. That's just been me.
Dealing with issues beyond divorce, disappointment, lap band issues, financial crisis and all...once again, this 'ol Texas girl has been tested to the core. My stark realization in today's world is very simple -- you are completely on your own. I can't help but wonder why. Perhaps that's why I've never been blessed with excessive money. My heart would allow me to 'rescue' those in need. But, then, I reflect on those who do have money and are well set in life...that's why they have money! They earned it, they protect it, they keep it...but, hey, they will always say 'We love you..hang in there'! Wow, better than nothing, but sure leaves an imprint on one's mind and soul.
As of tomorrow, I stand on my two feet again. As for the future, I know there is no one in life who is willing to bend, stretch or offer that saving hand from the quicksand. Life lessons are difficult at best, damaging in some ways but with each new 'notch' in my 'life belt' I understand I'd best be sharp, practical and cautious. Has it changed me somewhat? Yes, it has. Has it caused me to step a distance back from the front edge of everything? Yes, it has. Has it been a painful, private journey...definitely.
I am grateful for those who shared three hundred dollars in the 'hard time of the Fall of '10'. I'm thankful for one best friend who considered me 'worth the risk' in giving me the means to maintain my home. It's been a learning curve steeped in vewy scawy thangs! For now, though, I've made it one more time!
No one can change the minds of others, but perhaps we can share thoughts that will somehow broaden understanding and compassion. I hope that everyone makes it in this trying 'time' of recession/depression/whatever...and, I hope that I would still be willing to help another if the call came to me. However, I can't guarantee that today.
Honestly, if I could go back and start anew...I would become a lawyer! Ask those who know me...my mind is at work continuously, I'm always full of curiosity and I would have made a mark in the world as a lawyer. Also, I would have had a 'real income' rather than struggling as an educator!
Bottom line, make money, keep it selfishly and smile as you 'close the door.' Who was it that said, 'leave 'em laughin'...
It's been interesting. It's been lonely. It's been successful for me...that's all that counts!
About Me
- txspatter
- Humble, Texas, United States
- Retired educator, retired freelance photographer, retired life. I loved the classroom, laughter of the students, small successes that made them glow and the feeling of 'family' among faculty. However, job done and on to new things. Life was on 'cruise control' until March, 2004...and then, there was a halting screech, lung and heart issues and physicians galore. But, I beat the odds and HERE I AM...STILL HUFFIN' AND PUFFIN'!!! Let's see where this leads.....
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The Past Reminds Me
AS I sat and scrolled through a wonderful CD of the Davis Family, the images brought so many memories flooding into my mind. Growing up in the country, well, that was a special part of my life. Having tremendous parents, another gift from God. But, being one small piece of the Davis Clan, the aunts, uncles, cousins galore and more, well, that was a special gift of life.
Of the ten Davis children, only one remains among us today. Hubert. He was the youngest of the brood, raised a family of four and has been blessed with many,many grandchildren and finally, a precious great granddaughter! The Davis Clan was built on a strong foundation of love and Christian faith.
Thank you John Franklin and Nancy Elizabeth Davis. Job well done!
Today, several of the children and grandchildren are serving in God's ministry, their hearts are full of love and compassion for humanity and their lives are given gladly to walk the path in today's world. They are some of the very bright lights within the Clan!
No, I didn't go into any ministry, I served as a public educator for thirty years of my life and had the great opportunity to influence young lives day after day. Although I was never blessed with children of my own, I have had too many to count, for the door into my classroom was a revolving door. With a smile upon my face, I welcomed everyone into my domain, for I worked diligently to provide a 'safe harbor' for all who entered.
All of our lives have presented many opportunities, many trials, many accomplishments, even some failures...but, overall, it is what we've done with our lives that counts. When I saw pictures of me in the past, I was jarred by the look of me, my body, my presence. You see, I had been in trouble for several years with the sleep apnea stuff...just didn't realize what it was doing to me.
When I look at past pics of me, I can see the danger signs glowing in every snapshot. Huge, puffy, looking as though I would explode if someone stuck a pin in me. Wow, I think back on those days of no air, unable to walk very far at one time and remember the sleepless nights I paced my home wondering, what's the deal? While the world slept, I spent nights leaning over the counter to breathe a little easier.
It was easy to 'hide' my conflict. You learn quickly to 'pose' in the manner you wish others to see you. The game had become an event to me, for I wanted no one to recognize my inability to keep the pace with life in those days. However, for some reason, when it all came to a thunderous moment of real life, I faced death and the good Lord saw fit to see me through.
They say, He has something greater and far more important in 'store' for you when you've faced that time and walked away. I guess He does...still trying to figure that part out! But, my journey since 2004 has been completely remarkable and joyous after my Lap Band experience.
No, I'm not a skinny minny still, but, I have my really good health status back in tow. I can walk like a champion, participate in life and enjoy every new day as the sun breaks upon the horizon. My vision has become sharper, my intent more focused and my zest for being all that I can be has increased once again.
Like many friends and family...it's been a life filled with ups, downs, in betweens..but, overall, a satisfying trek. Following a marriage in 2007, I thought life was just perfect. However, that was not to be. And, after a divorce in 2010, I once again began walking life's path alone. But, there is a reason for everything, so they say.
One of these fabulous days when it slaps me in the face, I'll share it with you. Until then, I stand amazed, watching, reading about, talking to and listening to others. Many have had major life changes in the past year. Some have taken their lives to foreign places numerous times to serve as missionaries, and, others have remained status quo in there comfortable little piece of the world.
My conclusion from visiting the past this morning and reflecting upon life is very simply. The journey has been gratifying. The challenges have been, at times, overwhelming. But, the victories far exceed the losses in my life! One of my single most important job's in life today remains a very simple one....share a smile, give someone a surprise through a random act of kindness and always, always love family and friends for they are life.
Recently, I had a monumental challenge that I had never faced before. Basically, it dealt with a financial obligation to an insurance company...home owners. Since my divorce, I've been working to rebuild my foundation and although I have made strides, sometimes, a piece of life blows us into the next lane unexpectedly. Regardless, a long-time, tremendous BFF stepped in and threw me a safety line! Suddenly, I realized we are never alone in this world. Sometimes we make boundaries around ourselves, but once we step into the light, everyone's still there.
It's Sunday, an afternoon of football watching, a good Sunday lunch and just a casual pace for the entire day. Pause this week and reflect upon your life. There are no 'do-overs' in life, but perhaps you will stumble upon a revelation that will catapult you into nothing but blue skies and green lights on every corner!
Go for it! Life is what we make it...and, remember...
LAUGHTER IS THE MUSIC OF THE SOUL. Make someone smile every day this week!
Luv and laughter to all...
me
Of the ten Davis children, only one remains among us today. Hubert. He was the youngest of the brood, raised a family of four and has been blessed with many,many grandchildren and finally, a precious great granddaughter! The Davis Clan was built on a strong foundation of love and Christian faith.
Thank you John Franklin and Nancy Elizabeth Davis. Job well done!
Today, several of the children and grandchildren are serving in God's ministry, their hearts are full of love and compassion for humanity and their lives are given gladly to walk the path in today's world. They are some of the very bright lights within the Clan!
No, I didn't go into any ministry, I served as a public educator for thirty years of my life and had the great opportunity to influence young lives day after day. Although I was never blessed with children of my own, I have had too many to count, for the door into my classroom was a revolving door. With a smile upon my face, I welcomed everyone into my domain, for I worked diligently to provide a 'safe harbor' for all who entered.
All of our lives have presented many opportunities, many trials, many accomplishments, even some failures...but, overall, it is what we've done with our lives that counts. When I saw pictures of me in the past, I was jarred by the look of me, my body, my presence. You see, I had been in trouble for several years with the sleep apnea stuff...just didn't realize what it was doing to me.
When I look at past pics of me, I can see the danger signs glowing in every snapshot. Huge, puffy, looking as though I would explode if someone stuck a pin in me. Wow, I think back on those days of no air, unable to walk very far at one time and remember the sleepless nights I paced my home wondering, what's the deal? While the world slept, I spent nights leaning over the counter to breathe a little easier.
It was easy to 'hide' my conflict. You learn quickly to 'pose' in the manner you wish others to see you. The game had become an event to me, for I wanted no one to recognize my inability to keep the pace with life in those days. However, for some reason, when it all came to a thunderous moment of real life, I faced death and the good Lord saw fit to see me through.
They say, He has something greater and far more important in 'store' for you when you've faced that time and walked away. I guess He does...still trying to figure that part out! But, my journey since 2004 has been completely remarkable and joyous after my Lap Band experience.
No, I'm not a skinny minny still, but, I have my really good health status back in tow. I can walk like a champion, participate in life and enjoy every new day as the sun breaks upon the horizon. My vision has become sharper, my intent more focused and my zest for being all that I can be has increased once again.
Like many friends and family...it's been a life filled with ups, downs, in betweens..but, overall, a satisfying trek. Following a marriage in 2007, I thought life was just perfect. However, that was not to be. And, after a divorce in 2010, I once again began walking life's path alone. But, there is a reason for everything, so they say.
One of these fabulous days when it slaps me in the face, I'll share it with you. Until then, I stand amazed, watching, reading about, talking to and listening to others. Many have had major life changes in the past year. Some have taken their lives to foreign places numerous times to serve as missionaries, and, others have remained status quo in there comfortable little piece of the world.
My conclusion from visiting the past this morning and reflecting upon life is very simply. The journey has been gratifying. The challenges have been, at times, overwhelming. But, the victories far exceed the losses in my life! One of my single most important job's in life today remains a very simple one....share a smile, give someone a surprise through a random act of kindness and always, always love family and friends for they are life.
Recently, I had a monumental challenge that I had never faced before. Basically, it dealt with a financial obligation to an insurance company...home owners. Since my divorce, I've been working to rebuild my foundation and although I have made strides, sometimes, a piece of life blows us into the next lane unexpectedly. Regardless, a long-time, tremendous BFF stepped in and threw me a safety line! Suddenly, I realized we are never alone in this world. Sometimes we make boundaries around ourselves, but once we step into the light, everyone's still there.
It's Sunday, an afternoon of football watching, a good Sunday lunch and just a casual pace for the entire day. Pause this week and reflect upon your life. There are no 'do-overs' in life, but perhaps you will stumble upon a revelation that will catapult you into nothing but blue skies and green lights on every corner!
Go for it! Life is what we make it...and, remember...
LAUGHTER IS THE MUSIC OF THE SOUL. Make someone smile every day this week!
Luv and laughter to all...
me
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I WAS IN THE BAND...NOW, THE BAND'S IN ME
Sure 'nuff she said. I marched in the band, played in the band, ran with the band, performed with the band and stayed in the band through my second year at BaylorU. Fun, challenging, enriching and carefree. Lots of hard work and practice hours however, but we never minded that at all.
Today, the band is playin' me like a fiddle instead of a clarinet. Some days it's happy and some days it's not. Some days it cooperates, other days it punishes me. Some days are good days, some days are yuck days. Some days I look forward to food, other days I wonder if I will ever really appreciate food again.
The learning curve has been about 18 months now. The band is still teaching, I'm still learning..and most days IT'S THROWING CURVES RIGHT AND LEFT. Not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing, just sayin'. When you've reached a point where you see food in your mind and drift away into, 'I don't really care to go there...that's when you recognize change in yourself." When you've bought some food and eaten a serving of it and two days later , toss it...that's when you know you've changed. When mealtimes approaching and you'll be happy to slurp a Kellog's Protein Shake instead...that's when you wonder...have I really become this?
I see my surgeon again next Tuesday. First time in three months. He and I are definitely gonna have a 'come to Jesus meetin' with my band leading the CHORUS! I have 9.5 cc's of sailine in there, I have tossed cookies/tea/potatoes/okra and numerous other items more than I care to acknowledge in the past three months. Somethin's gotta give and me be thinkin'...might be the band for the next three months. It's time to 'band' together and decide how to get the weight loss movin' again.
Nope, haven't been abusive, haven't ignored vitamins, haven't this, haven't that...dosen't seem to matter what I do or don't do, I remain in the same ballpark with the band playing it's own special tune..."I've got me around your skin!!!" That's a truth!
So, here I sit on a drizzly afternoon contimplating my opening speech next Tuesday.
Dr. Sherman and Learning Interns...
I'm glad we have this opportunity to sit and stare at each other in this examination room. However, it's time to discuss this journey where I immediately dropped right at 50 and the minute you gave me the first fill, I became stagnant!
I've been thinking...how would it be if we backed a lot of the fill out today and revved our engines as we come outta the gate tomorrow? I don't ever want to aBANDon the BAND. But, we must BAND together and do some problem solving.
Therefore, toss the dice and see which intern gets to practice the STICK! Rules are, three strikes, he/she's out!! Once you puncture the tummy the third time and still have not found the port...YOU ARE GOING TO THE MEDICAL DUGOUT. That's when the STICKYING COACH comes in and hits it the first time.
I know, generous of me, correct! HA! I just love to see a greenhorn sweat bullets over the band! When they stab that long needle in my tummy and, nothing...they break into a little line of perspiration above the forehead. Then, the apologies come rollin' in.
Anyhow, next tuesday, my team and I are going to begin a new approach on this challenge. Thus far the band is winning, I'm eating far less and even the right foods and staying status quo. that coupled with life events in the past few months is becoming a pain in my b>>>a n d!
So, here's to a symphony orchestrated to a tee. Instead of being a stand alone band, I want the band to become a cooperative ensemble! Nuff said....
Here's to you and here's to me.
Here's to the band and giant glass of tea.
Yep, it's a natural diuretic, it makes me ....oh well,
You get the drift.
A funky band mode today on a funkY rainy afternoon.
Here's to the bands
rubber bands, gastric bands, marching bands, and MY BAND!!! Squeeze me, teeze me...just don't sit there and appease me!!
Later...the funk's over!
Today, the band is playin' me like a fiddle instead of a clarinet. Some days it's happy and some days it's not. Some days it cooperates, other days it punishes me. Some days are good days, some days are yuck days. Some days I look forward to food, other days I wonder if I will ever really appreciate food again.
The learning curve has been about 18 months now. The band is still teaching, I'm still learning..and most days IT'S THROWING CURVES RIGHT AND LEFT. Not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing, just sayin'. When you've reached a point where you see food in your mind and drift away into, 'I don't really care to go there...that's when you recognize change in yourself." When you've bought some food and eaten a serving of it and two days later , toss it...that's when you know you've changed. When mealtimes approaching and you'll be happy to slurp a Kellog's Protein Shake instead...that's when you wonder...have I really become this?
I see my surgeon again next Tuesday. First time in three months. He and I are definitely gonna have a 'come to Jesus meetin' with my band leading the CHORUS! I have 9.5 cc's of sailine in there, I have tossed cookies/tea/potatoes/okra and numerous other items more than I care to acknowledge in the past three months. Somethin's gotta give and me be thinkin'...might be the band for the next three months. It's time to 'band' together and decide how to get the weight loss movin' again.
Nope, haven't been abusive, haven't ignored vitamins, haven't this, haven't that...dosen't seem to matter what I do or don't do, I remain in the same ballpark with the band playing it's own special tune..."I've got me around your skin!!!" That's a truth!
So, here I sit on a drizzly afternoon contimplating my opening speech next Tuesday.
Dr. Sherman and Learning Interns...
I'm glad we have this opportunity to sit and stare at each other in this examination room. However, it's time to discuss this journey where I immediately dropped right at 50 and the minute you gave me the first fill, I became stagnant!
I've been thinking...how would it be if we backed a lot of the fill out today and revved our engines as we come outta the gate tomorrow? I don't ever want to aBANDon the BAND. But, we must BAND together and do some problem solving.
Therefore, toss the dice and see which intern gets to practice the STICK! Rules are, three strikes, he/she's out!! Once you puncture the tummy the third time and still have not found the port...YOU ARE GOING TO THE MEDICAL DUGOUT. That's when the STICKYING COACH comes in and hits it the first time.
I know, generous of me, correct! HA! I just love to see a greenhorn sweat bullets over the band! When they stab that long needle in my tummy and, nothing...they break into a little line of perspiration above the forehead. Then, the apologies come rollin' in.
Anyhow, next tuesday, my team and I are going to begin a new approach on this challenge. Thus far the band is winning, I'm eating far less and even the right foods and staying status quo. that coupled with life events in the past few months is becoming a pain in my b>>>a n d!
So, here's to a symphony orchestrated to a tee. Instead of being a stand alone band, I want the band to become a cooperative ensemble! Nuff said....
Here's to you and here's to me.
Here's to the band and giant glass of tea.
Yep, it's a natural diuretic, it makes me ....oh well,
You get the drift.
A funky band mode today on a funkY rainy afternoon.
Here's to the bands
rubber bands, gastric bands, marching bands, and MY BAND!!! Squeeze me, teeze me...just don't sit there and appease me!!
Later...the funk's over!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Frozen Ponds at Christmas Time
The life of a dairyman and his family was eventful sometimes. The summers could be scorching hot, searing the skin until it felt deep fried. A blazing hot sun on a cloudless day was brutal most times. In Central Texas, humidity wasn't the issue, but a strong wind blew constant determined to take one down to the ground!
It was a dry heat. Different than gulf coast living. It was tolerable, but one still had to be careful to avoid heat exhaustion or heat stroke. Following a blazing summer, came the Fall.
It was a always a welcome change, moving into better temps and seeing the change of season moving forward. If it was to be a cold winter, the leaves would begin to change and dance to the rythm of the blowing winds. Trees were everywhere one looked...tall, skinny, fat, knarled, elegant and some, downright ugly, but green.
As the weather changed, the life of the dairyman picked up tempo somewhat. Waking at 4 a.m. to begin his day, the cows were pastured and had to be called to the lot where they stood aimlessly waiting their turn to walk into the barn.
The barn was stark white, cement blocks, with a row of windows that framed it's entire front. IN the summer, every window was flung wide open to alleviate some of the heat. And, in harmony with the natural wind, a big water cooler was hung in the end wall...blowing a blissful cool breeze of air constantly throughout the afternoon hours in hot weather.
As 'ol Man Winter set up residence, the windows were slammed shut, the catch locked and thus they remained for the duration. The old antique wood stove sat quietly about five feet inside the front door of the barn. When the temp dropped, the wood was shoved in the small front opening and lit to provide that steady circle of warmth within a few feet of the old grey wood burning stove.
INside the barn, the cows would be standing with their head locked in a stantion, eating the blissful scoops of feed that lay silenty for them to consume. As a milking machine was attached to the four udders and the power turned on, the rythmical, singsong of the pulsating machines could lull you into nothingness. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh as the milk ran down the glass bowl where you could watch it disappear into the pipeline. Four machines ran constantly, gently nursing the sweet, white milk from cow's udder and sending it on a rampaging journey into the stainless steel milk line.
Once it dumped into the 3000 pound stainless steel, refrigerated tank, job done. It was chilled ice cold until the Pure Milk Co. truck roared up into the wide gravel drive and swing hastily into postion to back up to the milk room.
Once there, a long, circular tube was taken from the tanker and snaked through the small, round opening near the floor of the front porch. Once inside, the driver quickly connected it to the siphone spout and then cranked open the valve. Two thousand pounds of milk poured from the huge tank and emptied into the belly of the sleeping giant.
After all was said and done, everything was disconnected and the milkman was on his way. Another day, another dollar...'udderly' amazing, it was.
Those were the more simple days of the dairy life. However, as old man winter took aim on the Waco area each season, one could be more deadly than the year before. On a particular Christmas/New Year time, he struck with voracity. No mercy.
The temps plunged into the teens, the rain turned into sleet and the horrific winter winds howled. Didn't matter what the conditions were, the work had to go on. Battling the weather, the elements and all, finally getting the cows rounded up and penned within their barbed wire perimeter, another session could commence.
However, December 1966 delivered a powerful punch. It was necessary for the farm hands to take axes to the tanks/ponds. The water was frozen inches thick and cows must have water to survive, regardless of the extreme weather and conditions.
Heaving the heavy axes high above their shoulders and then slamming it down into the thick, frozen ice, was a sound you wouldn't forget. It didn't work with one blow...it was challenging. And, most likely, by the end of the next milking round, it had to be repeated.
That winter scenerio appeared many times throughout my dad's 37 years of dairying. However, that New year's Eve was very unkind. The weather was foul, the temps were single digits, mud was everywhere, sleet pelted you when you left the cover of house or barn and it was unending.
To worsen the situation, the water pipes to the big county home had frozen solid, thus no water indoors. When all seemd hopeless,an unexpected event took place. That early morning on New year's Eve,my dad sat at the end of the dining table. Mother was there with him and watched in horror as the ill-fated episode commenced.
With a terrible headache, he suddenly threw his head back and as he did, his gray eyes rolled to back of his head. He was reaching for the back of his neck when it hit,and his right arm was frozen in place as well.
As panic raced through her veins, Lucille dawned raincoat and slickers and trotted to the barn to get the help to come and see what was going on. The man had been 'filling' in for J.W. since he had experienced flu like symptoms during the preceding days.
When the two shot through the back porch door, J.W. was sitting with his forehead resting on his right hand. The episode had released him, but there was definitely something terrible going on. His color was ashen gray/white and he could not speak a word.
Assisting him to the back seat of the car, off they went,hurling over the old iron railing bridge and skimming across the cracked cement bottom stretch of road. To the hospital as fast as the tires would turn from 5 miles out in the country into the heart of town.
Turned out, he had a 98% blockage in his right carotid artery and was on the verge of a stroke. Surgery was successful and he was taken home the third day after. In all of the mallay, the help had quit and walked out.
What would happen to the 52 cows that had to be milked twice a day? Panic set in and many phone calls followed. Finally, a young dairyman who knew J.W. agreed to stand in for him. That young man would milk his herd and rush over to our farm to milk my dad's herd.
We were saved by the grace of neighbor with a good heart! Well, we thought that was the case. Soon after my dad returned to his milking schedule, he began to notice many of his prize cows were 'drying up'....that meant they would be out to pasture for months before birthing a bull or heifer calf and returning the milk line. The young man had not let them milk out completely during each session. He was running short on time, so he cut many corners that cost a great deal ultimately.
That season of ice, wind, sleet and other...was the most costly season for my dad. Without a large number of cows standing at the stall, munching on the grain, liberally offering milk to gentle massage of a milking machine, production dropped drastically.
That season ended up and cost a lot in losses. Did he recover? Yes, over time. Was it easy? Not at all. Paying for loads of feed costs hundreds of dollars. But, finally the production had turned around, winter had passed on by and the spring time was just on the verge of landing in Central Texas.
Life on the farm was challenging for the man in charge. But, with strong will and a good mind, he always surpassed the mark and was known as one of a very few highly successful dairyman in the central Texas area.
To our wonder, we never did experience as harsh a winter as that one, ever again. I tip my hat to my dad...his strong character and dedication to family and work kept him going. ON the flip side,his best cheerleader/partner, my mother, was a very intregal part of that successful equation.
Through the good, the bad and the ugly...we survived and lived to face the next onslaught of unexpected challenges...or welcome the unexpected blessings sent our way. It was a win-win...successful until his retirement in 1970. Thanks to the strong Freedman duo. Job well done!
It was a dry heat. Different than gulf coast living. It was tolerable, but one still had to be careful to avoid heat exhaustion or heat stroke. Following a blazing summer, came the Fall.
It was a always a welcome change, moving into better temps and seeing the change of season moving forward. If it was to be a cold winter, the leaves would begin to change and dance to the rythm of the blowing winds. Trees were everywhere one looked...tall, skinny, fat, knarled, elegant and some, downright ugly, but green.
As the weather changed, the life of the dairyman picked up tempo somewhat. Waking at 4 a.m. to begin his day, the cows were pastured and had to be called to the lot where they stood aimlessly waiting their turn to walk into the barn.
The barn was stark white, cement blocks, with a row of windows that framed it's entire front. IN the summer, every window was flung wide open to alleviate some of the heat. And, in harmony with the natural wind, a big water cooler was hung in the end wall...blowing a blissful cool breeze of air constantly throughout the afternoon hours in hot weather.
As 'ol Man Winter set up residence, the windows were slammed shut, the catch locked and thus they remained for the duration. The old antique wood stove sat quietly about five feet inside the front door of the barn. When the temp dropped, the wood was shoved in the small front opening and lit to provide that steady circle of warmth within a few feet of the old grey wood burning stove.
INside the barn, the cows would be standing with their head locked in a stantion, eating the blissful scoops of feed that lay silenty for them to consume. As a milking machine was attached to the four udders and the power turned on, the rythmical, singsong of the pulsating machines could lull you into nothingness. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh as the milk ran down the glass bowl where you could watch it disappear into the pipeline. Four machines ran constantly, gently nursing the sweet, white milk from cow's udder and sending it on a rampaging journey into the stainless steel milk line.
Once it dumped into the 3000 pound stainless steel, refrigerated tank, job done. It was chilled ice cold until the Pure Milk Co. truck roared up into the wide gravel drive and swing hastily into postion to back up to the milk room.
Once there, a long, circular tube was taken from the tanker and snaked through the small, round opening near the floor of the front porch. Once inside, the driver quickly connected it to the siphone spout and then cranked open the valve. Two thousand pounds of milk poured from the huge tank and emptied into the belly of the sleeping giant.
After all was said and done, everything was disconnected and the milkman was on his way. Another day, another dollar...'udderly' amazing, it was.
Those were the more simple days of the dairy life. However, as old man winter took aim on the Waco area each season, one could be more deadly than the year before. On a particular Christmas/New Year time, he struck with voracity. No mercy.
The temps plunged into the teens, the rain turned into sleet and the horrific winter winds howled. Didn't matter what the conditions were, the work had to go on. Battling the weather, the elements and all, finally getting the cows rounded up and penned within their barbed wire perimeter, another session could commence.
However, December 1966 delivered a powerful punch. It was necessary for the farm hands to take axes to the tanks/ponds. The water was frozen inches thick and cows must have water to survive, regardless of the extreme weather and conditions.
Heaving the heavy axes high above their shoulders and then slamming it down into the thick, frozen ice, was a sound you wouldn't forget. It didn't work with one blow...it was challenging. And, most likely, by the end of the next milking round, it had to be repeated.
That winter scenerio appeared many times throughout my dad's 37 years of dairying. However, that New year's Eve was very unkind. The weather was foul, the temps were single digits, mud was everywhere, sleet pelted you when you left the cover of house or barn and it was unending.
To worsen the situation, the water pipes to the big county home had frozen solid, thus no water indoors. When all seemd hopeless,an unexpected event took place. That early morning on New year's Eve,my dad sat at the end of the dining table. Mother was there with him and watched in horror as the ill-fated episode commenced.
With a terrible headache, he suddenly threw his head back and as he did, his gray eyes rolled to back of his head. He was reaching for the back of his neck when it hit,and his right arm was frozen in place as well.
As panic raced through her veins, Lucille dawned raincoat and slickers and trotted to the barn to get the help to come and see what was going on. The man had been 'filling' in for J.W. since he had experienced flu like symptoms during the preceding days.
When the two shot through the back porch door, J.W. was sitting with his forehead resting on his right hand. The episode had released him, but there was definitely something terrible going on. His color was ashen gray/white and he could not speak a word.
Assisting him to the back seat of the car, off they went,hurling over the old iron railing bridge and skimming across the cracked cement bottom stretch of road. To the hospital as fast as the tires would turn from 5 miles out in the country into the heart of town.
Turned out, he had a 98% blockage in his right carotid artery and was on the verge of a stroke. Surgery was successful and he was taken home the third day after. In all of the mallay, the help had quit and walked out.
What would happen to the 52 cows that had to be milked twice a day? Panic set in and many phone calls followed. Finally, a young dairyman who knew J.W. agreed to stand in for him. That young man would milk his herd and rush over to our farm to milk my dad's herd.
We were saved by the grace of neighbor with a good heart! Well, we thought that was the case. Soon after my dad returned to his milking schedule, he began to notice many of his prize cows were 'drying up'....that meant they would be out to pasture for months before birthing a bull or heifer calf and returning the milk line. The young man had not let them milk out completely during each session. He was running short on time, so he cut many corners that cost a great deal ultimately.
That season of ice, wind, sleet and other...was the most costly season for my dad. Without a large number of cows standing at the stall, munching on the grain, liberally offering milk to gentle massage of a milking machine, production dropped drastically.
That season ended up and cost a lot in losses. Did he recover? Yes, over time. Was it easy? Not at all. Paying for loads of feed costs hundreds of dollars. But, finally the production had turned around, winter had passed on by and the spring time was just on the verge of landing in Central Texas.
Life on the farm was challenging for the man in charge. But, with strong will and a good mind, he always surpassed the mark and was known as one of a very few highly successful dairyman in the central Texas area.
To our wonder, we never did experience as harsh a winter as that one, ever again. I tip my hat to my dad...his strong character and dedication to family and work kept him going. ON the flip side,his best cheerleader/partner, my mother, was a very intregal part of that successful equation.
Through the good, the bad and the ugly...we survived and lived to face the next onslaught of unexpected challenges...or welcome the unexpected blessings sent our way. It was a win-win...successful until his retirement in 1970. Thanks to the strong Freedman duo. Job well done!
Through Colored Glasses
Springtime in the country was the most beautiful time on the dairyfarm. The grass grew thick and deep, green and plush and served as the perfect bed for a teenage girl to lay on her back, gazing at the floating clouds.
As the horse lazily grazed, the blonde haired, blue-eyed kid lay in the breeze and dreamed. The clouds took on many different shapes and sizes, but there was always something in the sky to grab her attention and hold her steadfast with wonder.
The soft bed of plush, new growth felt as comfortable as bed...because it wasn't about that at all. It was about relaxing, clearing the mind and letting life's visions dance through her mind. True, she lived out from the community and had to commute to the high school.
For some, perhaps that would have been a challenge. To her, it was life. The best life. Driving home each day, hearing the kerplunk of the gravel rocks spatting the car as she sailed through the course was a symphony to her. It was the sound of home. That was what she knew.
Rounding the final "S" curve prior to entering the huge gravel drive up to the big 'ol white country home, she'd slow gently and cruise the course while looking out over the bottom land.
A large tank sat right in the crook of the pasture and beyond that, many acres of flat ground that led down the banks of Tehuacana Creek. A long, narrow 'slew' ran through the middle ground of the bottom and always some amount of water in it. Had to be careful though if you rode a horse into it.
The mud was like peanut butter, thick, sticky and would suck a leg deeper into the wet goo. Once a horse hit the mud, a loud pop would explode with each foot lifted from slime and sticky grip. Black, wet, cold mud clinging for life would almost make a good horse founder.
The view from big front porch of the country home was worth the time. You sat upon the steps and slowling raised your eyes from the white board fence around the plush yard and ran the view for thousands of yard to treeline of the old, crooked creek.
Not only did the lazy bottom offer room for horseback riding, hide 'n seek with other horse buds and hidden, secret lairs on the creek, it offered massive hay crops. Her daddy planted hay every spring and it would be harvested in the summer. The very hot, sweaty summer!
Life was the sound of the huge combine mowing the hay and laying it down in straight rows...that enabled the 'bailer' to drive beside it, scoop a bale amount in, shape it into a rectangle and wrap two pieces of bailing wire around it. The rythmical hum of the mower could be heard all the way of the bottom hill into the front yard of the country home.
Captured, baled and encapsulated, the hay would lay until the haulers were hired to go and stack every bale and deliver it to the giant, wide-open hay barn. That's what made the 'fun' for the farmer's daughter. Hay stacks, jumping from the upper tier, playing in the hand built maze of tunnels and some days....sitting among the huge bales of peanut hay with her dog, Rip. Peeling one peanut at a time and killing an afternoon. Crunch and more crunch!
For some, the country was absurd. Country. Huuummpphh...who'd live that far out? Sometimes, those questions were posed to us 'country folk' when we were in the huge metropolis of Bellmead, Texas. I think the Baylor folks had a saying 'bout Bellmead...something like "help the needy in Bellmeady'....so, country to me wasn't bad at all.
When her brother hit the big BU band and became a Frat brother in K-PSi...all of those young men would gather in the middle of the country home...sitting in the living room floor, every spring to watch the biggest event of the year....THE ACADEMY AWARDS.
Yep, some of them were from million dollar families, parents who toured the world or, perhaps, from a place where he was considered fortunate to enter BU. It didn't matter. The country home was just that. Everyone was welcome, the food was wonderful and the hospitality could be matched by none!!
After living in the country, with 300 acres for a playground, city life held no candle. The blonde haired country girl spent her life in education. Through various avenues, connections were made with old high school friends/classmates. Amazingly enough, several of those 'city folk' have ended up living their lives in the COUNTRY! They love it, they have horses, they love nature and more! Imagine...she was the kid on the 'outside' looking in. Now those other kids are in the lap of life!
One of life's lessons for all should be that of respecting and loving all for who they are. It matters not what a person looks like, how they talk or what brand of shirt they dawn for class. Life truly teaches until the end of the road. I hope all of us have enriched ourselves through the years, settled comfortably into the now and understand that friends are what make the world go round.
And, no fear....after all, "He's got the whole world in His hands!"
As the horse lazily grazed, the blonde haired, blue-eyed kid lay in the breeze and dreamed. The clouds took on many different shapes and sizes, but there was always something in the sky to grab her attention and hold her steadfast with wonder.
The soft bed of plush, new growth felt as comfortable as bed...because it wasn't about that at all. It was about relaxing, clearing the mind and letting life's visions dance through her mind. True, she lived out from the community and had to commute to the high school.
For some, perhaps that would have been a challenge. To her, it was life. The best life. Driving home each day, hearing the kerplunk of the gravel rocks spatting the car as she sailed through the course was a symphony to her. It was the sound of home. That was what she knew.
Rounding the final "S" curve prior to entering the huge gravel drive up to the big 'ol white country home, she'd slow gently and cruise the course while looking out over the bottom land.
A large tank sat right in the crook of the pasture and beyond that, many acres of flat ground that led down the banks of Tehuacana Creek. A long, narrow 'slew' ran through the middle ground of the bottom and always some amount of water in it. Had to be careful though if you rode a horse into it.
The mud was like peanut butter, thick, sticky and would suck a leg deeper into the wet goo. Once a horse hit the mud, a loud pop would explode with each foot lifted from slime and sticky grip. Black, wet, cold mud clinging for life would almost make a good horse founder.
The view from big front porch of the country home was worth the time. You sat upon the steps and slowling raised your eyes from the white board fence around the plush yard and ran the view for thousands of yard to treeline of the old, crooked creek.
Not only did the lazy bottom offer room for horseback riding, hide 'n seek with other horse buds and hidden, secret lairs on the creek, it offered massive hay crops. Her daddy planted hay every spring and it would be harvested in the summer. The very hot, sweaty summer!
Life was the sound of the huge combine mowing the hay and laying it down in straight rows...that enabled the 'bailer' to drive beside it, scoop a bale amount in, shape it into a rectangle and wrap two pieces of bailing wire around it. The rythmical hum of the mower could be heard all the way of the bottom hill into the front yard of the country home.
Captured, baled and encapsulated, the hay would lay until the haulers were hired to go and stack every bale and deliver it to the giant, wide-open hay barn. That's what made the 'fun' for the farmer's daughter. Hay stacks, jumping from the upper tier, playing in the hand built maze of tunnels and some days....sitting among the huge bales of peanut hay with her dog, Rip. Peeling one peanut at a time and killing an afternoon. Crunch and more crunch!
For some, the country was absurd. Country. Huuummpphh...who'd live that far out? Sometimes, those questions were posed to us 'country folk' when we were in the huge metropolis of Bellmead, Texas. I think the Baylor folks had a saying 'bout Bellmead...something like "help the needy in Bellmeady'....so, country to me wasn't bad at all.
When her brother hit the big BU band and became a Frat brother in K-PSi...all of those young men would gather in the middle of the country home...sitting in the living room floor, every spring to watch the biggest event of the year....THE ACADEMY AWARDS.
Yep, some of them were from million dollar families, parents who toured the world or, perhaps, from a place where he was considered fortunate to enter BU. It didn't matter. The country home was just that. Everyone was welcome, the food was wonderful and the hospitality could be matched by none!!
After living in the country, with 300 acres for a playground, city life held no candle. The blonde haired country girl spent her life in education. Through various avenues, connections were made with old high school friends/classmates. Amazingly enough, several of those 'city folk' have ended up living their lives in the COUNTRY! They love it, they have horses, they love nature and more! Imagine...she was the kid on the 'outside' looking in. Now those other kids are in the lap of life!
One of life's lessons for all should be that of respecting and loving all for who they are. It matters not what a person looks like, how they talk or what brand of shirt they dawn for class. Life truly teaches until the end of the road. I hope all of us have enriched ourselves through the years, settled comfortably into the now and understand that friends are what make the world go round.
And, no fear....after all, "He's got the whole world in His hands!"
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Sizzling Summer Changes
At 17, as did other teenagers, I believed I was immune to any threats or physical ailments. Thus, the summer before my senior year, several of us travelled to Lake Waco to spend many hours in the hottest part of the day! Fun. Were we smart! Well, not me.
Playing on inner tubes, going far out from shore...doing stupid tricks in the deepest waters, it really never dawned on me that the beaming sun was 'cooking my fair skin!' Sizzle, pop and sear a little more as the one o'clock sun beamed down. I kept having fun and kept refusing any suntanning products! I DIDN'T NEED THEM!
Wrong.
By the time I arrived home, clear blisters had risen all across the top of my back and shoulders. Ouchy! Was I ever in misery! I spent three days in my front bedroom, topless, on a mattress in the floor with a fan blowing on me! Completey suffering and in anguish, that was the day I decided to be a little smarter in most cases!
Life experiences have prepped us all and taught us many lessons. Thank goodness for patient parents and loving parents. They'd been there, done that and knew it was our turn to do so. I'm not sure that any person has led a completely perfect life without making any wrong turns! That especially addresses me.
Tremendous successes have lighted my path and some of the shadowy areas on my life path were there due to my choices. We have choices to make and more often than not (thank goodness)...I've stayed true to the best course. However, even as an adult, we are not immune to life's pranks and downfalls.
It's been a crazy, amazing year for me. I had Lap Band, lost weight, regained excellent health and determined a divorce was the path I should choose. The road less travelled by many, but, still perhaps a little FM road. It'll getcha where ya need to go next!
Since that time, tremendous changes have occurred with me. My grocery bill has zoomed to 'zip' so to speak. I treat myself with an 8 ounce Coke Zero once a day. Thus, one bottle of Coke Zero lasts me a week. Cost? .99. Past months have seen more than 250 Diet Dr. Peppers come through the door and some other liquids...running close to $300 a month just for liquids.
Alongside the food changes and visits to the market...I've been working the house over. I've given things away, taken things to Goodwill, sold things on the local sale listing and have been cleaning out and rearranging stuff here and there. It's a very different feeling. It's the freedom to return to my tastes in my home and place some cute pics of great nieces and nephews here and there. I love seeing those sweet personalities looking at me today.
I've reconnected with cousins in the League City area and out on the lake. It's a great feeling to reunite after a four year absence to hear someone say, 'you are still family and we've shared everything with you ...you are family and we're glad to have you back.' Ignoring family for an extended period of time for me is one of the greatest challenges faced.
My mother was one who made sure we stayed in touch, got in touch, initiated touch, went to the showers, graduations, parties, reunions, etc. I grew up in her shadow where family carried a tremendous marker. Life, family, friends and, of course,the Lord are what makes our worlds revolve.
The changes have been steady in the past week. Spaces in my home are cleaner than they've been in years! New colors and styles are appearing and the freedom to do whatever in the world awaits is wonderful.
It had been a very long time since I had been out after 4 pm in the afternoon. Now, if I'm out running after that hour or at 8 o'clock at night...I'm whistlin' dixie!! Yessss....it's called life and I'm living it again.
The support from friends and family has been outstanding and means so much to me. And, after the first week, I'm now getting a track on my food, eating, amounts, etc. It takes very little a few times a day....I'm content, but no, not four stomachs and I don't chew my cudd!!!
I've been invited out to the lake tomorrow with Mary and her family. Another fun day of relaxing on the wonderful deck and looking out over their park like backyard and the inlet of water that flows past their property. Trees, birds, wind and nuthin' but time.
Life 101! I'm excelling in it!
Playing on inner tubes, going far out from shore...doing stupid tricks in the deepest waters, it really never dawned on me that the beaming sun was 'cooking my fair skin!' Sizzle, pop and sear a little more as the one o'clock sun beamed down. I kept having fun and kept refusing any suntanning products! I DIDN'T NEED THEM!
Wrong.
By the time I arrived home, clear blisters had risen all across the top of my back and shoulders. Ouchy! Was I ever in misery! I spent three days in my front bedroom, topless, on a mattress in the floor with a fan blowing on me! Completey suffering and in anguish, that was the day I decided to be a little smarter in most cases!
Life experiences have prepped us all and taught us many lessons. Thank goodness for patient parents and loving parents. They'd been there, done that and knew it was our turn to do so. I'm not sure that any person has led a completely perfect life without making any wrong turns! That especially addresses me.
Tremendous successes have lighted my path and some of the shadowy areas on my life path were there due to my choices. We have choices to make and more often than not (thank goodness)...I've stayed true to the best course. However, even as an adult, we are not immune to life's pranks and downfalls.
It's been a crazy, amazing year for me. I had Lap Band, lost weight, regained excellent health and determined a divorce was the path I should choose. The road less travelled by many, but, still perhaps a little FM road. It'll getcha where ya need to go next!
Since that time, tremendous changes have occurred with me. My grocery bill has zoomed to 'zip' so to speak. I treat myself with an 8 ounce Coke Zero once a day. Thus, one bottle of Coke Zero lasts me a week. Cost? .99. Past months have seen more than 250 Diet Dr. Peppers come through the door and some other liquids...running close to $300 a month just for liquids.
Alongside the food changes and visits to the market...I've been working the house over. I've given things away, taken things to Goodwill, sold things on the local sale listing and have been cleaning out and rearranging stuff here and there. It's a very different feeling. It's the freedom to return to my tastes in my home and place some cute pics of great nieces and nephews here and there. I love seeing those sweet personalities looking at me today.
I've reconnected with cousins in the League City area and out on the lake. It's a great feeling to reunite after a four year absence to hear someone say, 'you are still family and we've shared everything with you ...you are family and we're glad to have you back.' Ignoring family for an extended period of time for me is one of the greatest challenges faced.
My mother was one who made sure we stayed in touch, got in touch, initiated touch, went to the showers, graduations, parties, reunions, etc. I grew up in her shadow where family carried a tremendous marker. Life, family, friends and, of course,the Lord are what makes our worlds revolve.
The changes have been steady in the past week. Spaces in my home are cleaner than they've been in years! New colors and styles are appearing and the freedom to do whatever in the world awaits is wonderful.
It had been a very long time since I had been out after 4 pm in the afternoon. Now, if I'm out running after that hour or at 8 o'clock at night...I'm whistlin' dixie!! Yessss....it's called life and I'm living it again.
The support from friends and family has been outstanding and means so much to me. And, after the first week, I'm now getting a track on my food, eating, amounts, etc. It takes very little a few times a day....I'm content, but no, not four stomachs and I don't chew my cudd!!!
I've been invited out to the lake tomorrow with Mary and her family. Another fun day of relaxing on the wonderful deck and looking out over their park like backyard and the inlet of water that flows past their property. Trees, birds, wind and nuthin' but time.
Life 101! I'm excelling in it!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
A Life Experience/Lesson...A G A I N!! lololol
It's been an interesting six months. My life has taken a new direction...I am officially divorced as of 9 a.m. this morning! The frightening part of the process...had to wait 60 days after filing and the actually divorce took place in the associate Judge's Chamber in 5 minutes. He said, "It's uncontested, what would you like me to do?"
I smiled in shock and replied, "Grant me a divorce????" He said, "done, but let me read through the stipulations."
I recovered my name, Patricia E F..and have been busy, cleaning house, putting things in order, bagging stuff for Goodwill, giving things to my yardman and replacing wall hangings that have been boxed for four years. What can I say, it's me...things I love...but, getting back into 'the groove of life."
There have been dips and dives, ups and downs, ins and outs over the past months, but they are now 'water under my bridge.' I had a concerned Aunt phone me with a somber tone and I said, "stop!" "Celebrate this event...it was for the best." That shocked her and we went on talking. I told her, "after all, I waited a lifetime to marry, so I had to hurry and divorce so I could say, been there, done that!"
Anyhow, life is what we make it. I'm making my peace, love and joy. I have always been a people person and guess what? Still am. The exception to this 'go round' is my lapband!! I'm a healthy woman with a zest for life!
What will she do, you query? I'll keep on livin' and remind everyone that I'm not dead, just took a different path. Will she start dating...not so at the moment. I'm catching my breath. Will she get back on dating sites....not at all. Remember, I have friends from the past...and all of my old acquaintences, friends and family have been patient, kind and supportive....
You know me, don't be surprised at what comes rolling around the corner. I do have a very special friend in California.
We now talk and have fun texting....and, one day, me thinks he will relocate in Texas. That's a good thing...cause "IF IT AIN'T TEXAS...IT AIN'T!' right? lololol
I"ll keep ya posted on future developments with whatever! Today, I know I'm a happy woman, full of life and doing whatever I desire. Spent many hours bumming around my favorite stores today. For my personal gift to me...found a very attractive, framed work that reads..'FAMILY AND FRIENDS GATHER HERE." Yeppers, that's for certain.
My family has always been known to have an open door, warm heart, good food and a used Welcome Mat. That, folks, hasn't changed! She's MOVIN' ON UP ... gettin' down and boot scottin' 'n boogi-n!!!
"Don't Cry for Me ARgentina" as Madonna sang in the wonderful broadway musical. Celebrate a new beginning, a fast paced start and a peaceful heart! That's what my life's about.
A word to the wise...don't let life drag you down into the pits! Do something about it and keep your eyes on a new horizon. There are more exciting things to see and do...it's what makes the world go round!
Hugs to all...keep them phone calls and text messages comin'....got a new Blackberry and absolutely love it.
LIFE 101...gotta luv it!
By the way...going through a divorce, uncontested, means you puruse all the legal paperwork, go to the Courthouse to file, speak with the volunteer lawyer in the basement and anger them that you used Legal Zoom and feel your way around until you stumble in the right door and walk up to the right little cubby hole to shout your wishes. I hate those things!
And, you have to almost undress to get in...be quiet in the courtroom and wait for the man with the gun to motion you to come forward and see the Court Clerk. It's an experience to sit in the courtroom and watch all the people in action. Just made me know I neva want to be hauled into court for a crime!! So, you're all safe!!
Oh, I was told to be there this morning at 8:30 to sign the 'list'! I was there at 7:30 because, for some reason, the traffic was non-existent at the early hour. Very strange for Houston! So, I arrive, hesitate at that 'special room'...cause ya know it's nerve-racking...and move on down the hall to the 246th Court! I walk into the little alcove, grab the handle, pullllll to open and the door said BAMMMMMMN. Oops, it was locked! Sorry! So, I backed off, sat in the hall on a hard bench and waited until 8:30 for the door to open.
The Judge and his 'helpers' were discussing a wedding he had attended. The wedding cost the parents $60,000. The flowers alone, were $10,000. The Judge said, "if they'd called me, I would have done the flowers for half that!" It was a hoot seeing the personalities of them all.
Then, he went and put his robe on! Shhhhhhhhh. Suddenly, it was a courtroom and back to business. I thought, what if stand to read the Prove Up to him and I get a tickle in my throat? What if I can't pronounce this one big word right? What if I sound nervous? Holy cow, where'd did all these people and their lawyers come from, this was my courtroom. Yipes!
But, I got banned to the little chamber across the hall. THANNK YOU, YOUR HONOR!!!
Dance in the rain, live like you were dying and let the wind blow through your mind!
Me
I smiled in shock and replied, "Grant me a divorce????" He said, "done, but let me read through the stipulations."
I recovered my name, Patricia E F..and have been busy, cleaning house, putting things in order, bagging stuff for Goodwill, giving things to my yardman and replacing wall hangings that have been boxed for four years. What can I say, it's me...things I love...but, getting back into 'the groove of life."
There have been dips and dives, ups and downs, ins and outs over the past months, but they are now 'water under my bridge.' I had a concerned Aunt phone me with a somber tone and I said, "stop!" "Celebrate this event...it was for the best." That shocked her and we went on talking. I told her, "after all, I waited a lifetime to marry, so I had to hurry and divorce so I could say, been there, done that!"
Anyhow, life is what we make it. I'm making my peace, love and joy. I have always been a people person and guess what? Still am. The exception to this 'go round' is my lapband!! I'm a healthy woman with a zest for life!
What will she do, you query? I'll keep on livin' and remind everyone that I'm not dead, just took a different path. Will she start dating...not so at the moment. I'm catching my breath. Will she get back on dating sites....not at all. Remember, I have friends from the past...and all of my old acquaintences, friends and family have been patient, kind and supportive....
You know me, don't be surprised at what comes rolling around the corner. I do have a very special friend in California.
We now talk and have fun texting....and, one day, me thinks he will relocate in Texas. That's a good thing...cause "IF IT AIN'T TEXAS...IT AIN'T!' right? lololol
I"ll keep ya posted on future developments with whatever! Today, I know I'm a happy woman, full of life and doing whatever I desire. Spent many hours bumming around my favorite stores today. For my personal gift to me...found a very attractive, framed work that reads..'FAMILY AND FRIENDS GATHER HERE." Yeppers, that's for certain.
My family has always been known to have an open door, warm heart, good food and a used Welcome Mat. That, folks, hasn't changed! She's MOVIN' ON UP ... gettin' down and boot scottin' 'n boogi-n!!!
"Don't Cry for Me ARgentina" as Madonna sang in the wonderful broadway musical. Celebrate a new beginning, a fast paced start and a peaceful heart! That's what my life's about.
A word to the wise...don't let life drag you down into the pits! Do something about it and keep your eyes on a new horizon. There are more exciting things to see and do...it's what makes the world go round!
Hugs to all...keep them phone calls and text messages comin'....got a new Blackberry and absolutely love it.
LIFE 101...gotta luv it!
By the way...going through a divorce, uncontested, means you puruse all the legal paperwork, go to the Courthouse to file, speak with the volunteer lawyer in the basement and anger them that you used Legal Zoom and feel your way around until you stumble in the right door and walk up to the right little cubby hole to shout your wishes. I hate those things!
And, you have to almost undress to get in...be quiet in the courtroom and wait for the man with the gun to motion you to come forward and see the Court Clerk. It's an experience to sit in the courtroom and watch all the people in action. Just made me know I neva want to be hauled into court for a crime!! So, you're all safe!!
Oh, I was told to be there this morning at 8:30 to sign the 'list'! I was there at 7:30 because, for some reason, the traffic was non-existent at the early hour. Very strange for Houston! So, I arrive, hesitate at that 'special room'...cause ya know it's nerve-racking...and move on down the hall to the 246th Court! I walk into the little alcove, grab the handle, pullllll to open and the door said BAMMMMMMN. Oops, it was locked! Sorry! So, I backed off, sat in the hall on a hard bench and waited until 8:30 for the door to open.
The Judge and his 'helpers' were discussing a wedding he had attended. The wedding cost the parents $60,000. The flowers alone, were $10,000. The Judge said, "if they'd called me, I would have done the flowers for half that!" It was a hoot seeing the personalities of them all.
Then, he went and put his robe on! Shhhhhhhhh. Suddenly, it was a courtroom and back to business. I thought, what if stand to read the Prove Up to him and I get a tickle in my throat? What if I can't pronounce this one big word right? What if I sound nervous? Holy cow, where'd did all these people and their lawyers come from, this was my courtroom. Yipes!
But, I got banned to the little chamber across the hall. THANNK YOU, YOUR HONOR!!!
Dance in the rain, live like you were dying and let the wind blow through your mind!
Me
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The Wee Hours of the Morning
Life has lots of twists and turns. Some days we travel a seemingly straight path, no hiccups, no issues, no out of the ordinary events. It's smooth sailing on a crystal blue sea, calm as glass splattering impressive reflections back in your face.
Other times, we fidget, the path has many challenges, almost like a maze and regardless of how much in control we feel we are...we're not for that day. This night is one of those times for me. Dealing with RLS (restless leg syndrome) presents it's ugly head ever so and it wins hands down.
Forgetting to pick up the refill on the meds for this beast has cost me an entire night's rest and peace. In the wee hours, I signed up for the least expensive Netflix offer, watched The Proposal on my 27" monitor and slowly began cleaning out desk drawers that were overflowing with junk and more junk.
As I sifted through 'stuff' in one of deep-pocketed drawers, laying on the very bottom, tucked neatly back in the corner, I found a 'Happy Mother's Day' card given me by my mother and dated May, 1994. No, I've never been a mother, except as a classroom teacher with hundreds of students....but, she always shared her day with me in a special way.
The card contains a beautiful verse about a daughter and she encapsulated the entire effort in her own words and handwriting:
"You are so special I can't even think of enough ways to thank you or love you. Keep on being you!"
Love,
Mother
Sometimes we get busy in the art of life and fail to recognize some of our strengths and inner most desires or thoughts. At those particular times, it certainly enhances our self thought when we accidentally stumble upon a lasting memory.
The past months have offered many unique challenges in this life. I've been high on a mountain-top and down in the lowest of valleys some days. Although the rythm changes somewhat, we still manage to make our way to the next marker and start over. Due to life changes this spring, I have discovered various things about myself.
I have become a stronger person after dealing with various issues. My change began with my lap band surgery in March, 2009. Once I stepped into that spotlight, my health returned, my energy level kicked up to mach speed and my desire for living life hit an all-time high. A few days ago, someone approached me in the grocery store saying, 'are you Pat Freedman?' I turned with a smile and said, 'that's me'...and she sighed a relief saying, 'well, I saw you and thought it was you, but I wasn't sure.'
Those words were music to my ears. The last time that friend had seen me, I was about 55 pounds heavier. That encounter was the highlight of that day and enabled me to realize I have been successful.
Throughout the past year, I've had family and friends who have been my cheerleaders, my sideline coaches, my ego trip andmore. Without those folks, my life would be stagnant. You see, being a people person means I give and get in return from them. To me, that's what life's about. We enrich our minds daily with passing nods, comments, how are you's and more. Thus, I will always be in the crowd smiling and chatting. Many times, we help others more than they help us, but, it's life in the simplest form.
I will soon be single again. Another 'run' at life, in a different direction. Although my marriage did not work to ultimate good, it was a life changing experience and I have grown deep and wide from the experience. Being single again does not imply failure nor giving in to life. It means, new beginnings, new experiences, new friends and more.
One of life's easiest avenues is that of 'quitting' ... a cheap cop out in my opinion. We have no way of knowing what the future holds in store, but we have the ability to grab the brass ring and make it the best ride of our lives. That's me...no regrets, no stumbling blocks...simply a giant wall of 'life's building blocks' for me.
I'm thankful for friends and family being around during all of this experience. From the experience of marriage, to banding and now, divorce, I've grown stronger in many ways thanks to you, being there.
I'm not sure how 'special' I really am, but my sweet mother declared it so. And, really, my mother didn't have to 'thank' me for anything. It was my pleasure sharing a fun life with her and watching her grow into her twilight years as a happy senior adult, a lover of life and family and a gal who loved her chocolate!!!
The best I can do as I come into my 62nd birthday in September...KEEP ON BEING ME!!! I'll see ya on one of life's paths in the very near future!
Other times, we fidget, the path has many challenges, almost like a maze and regardless of how much in control we feel we are...we're not for that day. This night is one of those times for me. Dealing with RLS (restless leg syndrome) presents it's ugly head ever so and it wins hands down.
Forgetting to pick up the refill on the meds for this beast has cost me an entire night's rest and peace. In the wee hours, I signed up for the least expensive Netflix offer, watched The Proposal on my 27" monitor and slowly began cleaning out desk drawers that were overflowing with junk and more junk.
As I sifted through 'stuff' in one of deep-pocketed drawers, laying on the very bottom, tucked neatly back in the corner, I found a 'Happy Mother's Day' card given me by my mother and dated May, 1994. No, I've never been a mother, except as a classroom teacher with hundreds of students....but, she always shared her day with me in a special way.
The card contains a beautiful verse about a daughter and she encapsulated the entire effort in her own words and handwriting:
"You are so special I can't even think of enough ways to thank you or love you. Keep on being you!"
Love,
Mother
Sometimes we get busy in the art of life and fail to recognize some of our strengths and inner most desires or thoughts. At those particular times, it certainly enhances our self thought when we accidentally stumble upon a lasting memory.
The past months have offered many unique challenges in this life. I've been high on a mountain-top and down in the lowest of valleys some days. Although the rythm changes somewhat, we still manage to make our way to the next marker and start over. Due to life changes this spring, I have discovered various things about myself.
I have become a stronger person after dealing with various issues. My change began with my lap band surgery in March, 2009. Once I stepped into that spotlight, my health returned, my energy level kicked up to mach speed and my desire for living life hit an all-time high. A few days ago, someone approached me in the grocery store saying, 'are you Pat Freedman?' I turned with a smile and said, 'that's me'...and she sighed a relief saying, 'well, I saw you and thought it was you, but I wasn't sure.'
Those words were music to my ears. The last time that friend had seen me, I was about 55 pounds heavier. That encounter was the highlight of that day and enabled me to realize I have been successful.
Throughout the past year, I've had family and friends who have been my cheerleaders, my sideline coaches, my ego trip andmore. Without those folks, my life would be stagnant. You see, being a people person means I give and get in return from them. To me, that's what life's about. We enrich our minds daily with passing nods, comments, how are you's and more. Thus, I will always be in the crowd smiling and chatting. Many times, we help others more than they help us, but, it's life in the simplest form.
I will soon be single again. Another 'run' at life, in a different direction. Although my marriage did not work to ultimate good, it was a life changing experience and I have grown deep and wide from the experience. Being single again does not imply failure nor giving in to life. It means, new beginnings, new experiences, new friends and more.
One of life's easiest avenues is that of 'quitting' ... a cheap cop out in my opinion. We have no way of knowing what the future holds in store, but we have the ability to grab the brass ring and make it the best ride of our lives. That's me...no regrets, no stumbling blocks...simply a giant wall of 'life's building blocks' for me.
I'm thankful for friends and family being around during all of this experience. From the experience of marriage, to banding and now, divorce, I've grown stronger in many ways thanks to you, being there.
I'm not sure how 'special' I really am, but my sweet mother declared it so. And, really, my mother didn't have to 'thank' me for anything. It was my pleasure sharing a fun life with her and watching her grow into her twilight years as a happy senior adult, a lover of life and family and a gal who loved her chocolate!!!
The best I can do as I come into my 62nd birthday in September...KEEP ON BEING ME!!! I'll see ya on one of life's paths in the very near future!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Me Before...Just A Reminder
It's interesting to look 'back' a couple of days before my banding. I was filled with fluid, uncomfortable, sluggish and dying. No, really. I had very little o2 circulating, could not walk a small flight of stairs and ate everything that didn't eat me first!
I wanted to give you the real past to compare. One year to one year. Wow, what a difference a year makes and how life changes. Alllllll for the betterrrrrrr.
And, still working on ME! That's my job! A fun job however!
I'm so glad I'm closer to ONE FACE!! It was really round!!!
I wanted to give you the real past to compare. One year to one year. Wow, what a difference a year makes and how life changes. Alllllll for the betterrrrrrr.
And, still working on ME! That's my job! A fun job however!
I'm so glad I'm closer to ONE FACE!! It was really round!!!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Dancing in the Rain
My life changed June, 2008 when I happened upon the most fantastic PCP at Baylor College of Med. The picture on the left is one year after Lap Band...March 12, 2010. The picture on the right is December, 2009.
Yes, I was huge prior to surgery and in very poor health. But, the greatest life changing event ever happened and my world turned upside down. Never say never and never doubt the sound advice of a professional you trust.
This has been the greatest journey I have ever experienced. No regrets. No doubts and certainly no chance of 'going back' from whence I came. Good health has graced me again, giving me a new chance at life. Yes, my energy level is very high, my walking ability is fantastic and my mind has shifted to the 'healthier me' and keeping it that way.
I've been proud to know that I have friends and relatives who have gone this route after seeing me and understanding the value of it. I'm proud for them...for they are moving into a new, refreshing life they've not known in a while.
I have friends who have experienced by-pass, band and the sleeve, long before my banding...and, they have been a great support for me. I am still working on another 50 pounds in this year. It is slower with the band, but, I love my band. Well, except for the past two days when it had a mind of it's own and didn't want anything passing into my pouch.
Yes, I said pouch...about the size of a large egg intended to hold 4 ounces to a cup and a half at a meal. The end. Limited intake and making healthy choices have been the key to success. Not sure where I'd be today had I not run into Dr. Rogers, but, let's not go there.
I'm here, I'm healthy, I'm happy, I'm active and I'm livin' and luvin' life. What more could I want? Travel, fun, new experiences...all of the above! There's nothing holding me back any longer, so, it's time to begin planning.
Life changes are exciting. I have a feeling I have more of those ahead and perhaps they will out do the banding. But, I'll guarantee you this...it'll be fun finding out and discovering those things.
I hope anyone having family or friends who have battled weight forever (and lost) will share this blog with those individuals. All it takes is a desire, courage and willingness to take that first step. The rest is a PIECE OF CAKE!!!! NOT. Just a phrase.
Life's too short to be bound by fat. There's too much laughter to be had in this 'ol world...and, it's never too late to make the most of it and DANCE IN THE RAIN! Speaking of...since I began my walking program, I have walked in the rain, walked in freezing temps and walked in the hot sun. Who cares...I'm walking for my life!
No longer am I LIVING TO EAT...I'M EATING TO LIVE.
Think about that! It's a big difference.
I don't post here as often, but I will continue over time. I wish to say a personal thank you to my readers, to my friends, to my family and to my marvelous BCM team of physicians. They have me in their computer and all of them can glance at me with the push of a button.
Now, for a kid who grew up scared too death of doctors...this is phenominal. I know my mother is dancin' in Heaven over me ending up with my own, personal team of docs and a direct line to my surgeon's right hand, Barbara! Gotta luv it!!!!
Nuff said for this day. Read it. Share it. Try it. Grin and bear it. Talk it. Walk it. Do it. Enjoy it. It's the best thing I've ever done in my life!!!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
A Day With My Band
Once you've had several fills, the band is much tighter and limits the amount of food going in. If you eat too fast, if you eat large bites, if you drink while you eat..."we've got trouble, right here in River city"!! The elevator will reverse and the food is g o i n g u p!! Not fun!
Less is more...meaning meals that consist of 4 ounces to 12 ounces. The end. It's taken me an entire year to 'give in' to that necessity! But, now that I have, I'm on the weigh down again! Eureeka.
Breakfast - an instant packet of oatmeal (in a bowl, cover with water and nuke it for 1 1/2 minutes...enjoy)
Lunch/dinner - no later than 2 p.m. protein, veggie
mid-afternoon snack Zone Protein Bar Chocolate Almond Raisin...yum and yum
evening - can of Campbell's healthy request soup
the end.
You can not keep eating larger portions even if your band allows it. You must minimize you food intake, shrink your mind and realize you rarely feel hunger at all. Why? Well, excuse me, but that is the purpose of the band!! IT WORKS! Pay attention and work on your mental abiblities.
I hope this is helpful, in some ways for folks who slow down and read. Oft times, I think of my days at Humble Middle School and the spring I went to Weight Watchers with my best friend "Shu". We had a blast, lost weight and loved every minute of it.
By the Fall semester,, I was 50 pounds lighter, miles happier and wondered why none of my students said anything. My new lease on life had brightened my classroom and made me far more enjoyable to be around.
Then, one afternoon, I walked out of my classroom and saw an eighth grade Mom sitting there, waiting for her daughter to finish practice. We began to talk...she said, 'I hope you know how great an influence you've been on these kids'. I was shocked. "Why", I asked. They are excited over your weight loss and your new, happy spirit they see every day.
They had talked about it and decided, if I could do that, they could accomplish whatever they set their minds to. I asked why none of them had commented on it all. She said, they weren't sure they should. I told her to encourage them to share thoughts!
Wow, talk about impact without knowing it or thinking about it. We are role models in every step of life. People are watching, sometimes wishing they could do that and sometimes, they make major changes due to what they've seen in us.
I've shared my health story with various individuals in the past months. Many have said, "wow, everyone should be exposed to you. Your enthusiasm is contagious." Good for me! I'm proud to know that somehow I have possibly affected folks for the better.
I do know that a couple of cousins have undertaken bariatric surgery after seeing me or hearing about me. Yeah. If it saves lives, I'm all for it.
Here's to today and many new tomorrows. Life is ever changing and it's up to us to seek the best 'avenue' for our life path. As for me? I have two very special friends...J and M. Both of these people have been close by my side and shared their love and support! They are not the only two great folks in my life, but they are two noteable BFF's. I will also thank an old LVHS classmate, Billy.
Although we never shared a lot of laughs, classes or time together back in the day, we are still BFF's, connected with all of the remaining graduates and keeping in touch via email and Facebook. He is one individual who has shared some of the sweetest thoughts and opened my eyes with every word. After many of my classmates heard of my near demise back in March, 2004...he took time to write one of the most moving emails that I've ever received from a long past friend.
I thank him. I thank J and M. I thanks all of my BFF's and family. I thank it's time to quit writing now.
Less is more...meaning meals that consist of 4 ounces to 12 ounces. The end. It's taken me an entire year to 'give in' to that necessity! But, now that I have, I'm on the weigh down again! Eureeka.
Breakfast - an instant packet of oatmeal (in a bowl, cover with water and nuke it for 1 1/2 minutes...enjoy)
Lunch/dinner - no later than 2 p.m. protein, veggie
mid-afternoon snack Zone Protein Bar Chocolate Almond Raisin...yum and yum
evening - can of Campbell's healthy request soup
the end.
You can not keep eating larger portions even if your band allows it. You must minimize you food intake, shrink your mind and realize you rarely feel hunger at all. Why? Well, excuse me, but that is the purpose of the band!! IT WORKS! Pay attention and work on your mental abiblities.
I hope this is helpful, in some ways for folks who slow down and read. Oft times, I think of my days at Humble Middle School and the spring I went to Weight Watchers with my best friend "Shu". We had a blast, lost weight and loved every minute of it.
By the Fall semester,, I was 50 pounds lighter, miles happier and wondered why none of my students said anything. My new lease on life had brightened my classroom and made me far more enjoyable to be around.
Then, one afternoon, I walked out of my classroom and saw an eighth grade Mom sitting there, waiting for her daughter to finish practice. We began to talk...she said, 'I hope you know how great an influence you've been on these kids'. I was shocked. "Why", I asked. They are excited over your weight loss and your new, happy spirit they see every day.
They had talked about it and decided, if I could do that, they could accomplish whatever they set their minds to. I asked why none of them had commented on it all. She said, they weren't sure they should. I told her to encourage them to share thoughts!
Wow, talk about impact without knowing it or thinking about it. We are role models in every step of life. People are watching, sometimes wishing they could do that and sometimes, they make major changes due to what they've seen in us.
I've shared my health story with various individuals in the past months. Many have said, "wow, everyone should be exposed to you. Your enthusiasm is contagious." Good for me! I'm proud to know that somehow I have possibly affected folks for the better.
I do know that a couple of cousins have undertaken bariatric surgery after seeing me or hearing about me. Yeah. If it saves lives, I'm all for it.
Here's to today and many new tomorrows. Life is ever changing and it's up to us to seek the best 'avenue' for our life path. As for me? I have two very special friends...J and M. Both of these people have been close by my side and shared their love and support! They are not the only two great folks in my life, but they are two noteable BFF's. I will also thank an old LVHS classmate, Billy.
Although we never shared a lot of laughs, classes or time together back in the day, we are still BFF's, connected with all of the remaining graduates and keeping in touch via email and Facebook. He is one individual who has shared some of the sweetest thoughts and opened my eyes with every word. After many of my classmates heard of my near demise back in March, 2004...he took time to write one of the most moving emails that I've ever received from a long past friend.
I thank him. I thank J and M. I thanks all of my BFF's and family. I thank it's time to quit writing now.
Determination
He was old, flaming red, knobby kneed and crippled with arthritis. I called him Blaze. My first horse, I was six years old. My savings account had a whoppin' $60 in it and that's exactly what the old horse cost me.
A family with seven kids had owned him, allowed the kids to pound him too death on pavement over the years and then, threw him away at the Cameron Park Stables in Waco. My dad saw him, knew he couldn't move all that fast and away we went...to the farm, Blaze in the trailer and my heart pumping out of my ears!
I had just turned six years of age then and didn't get a saddle until age 8. My daddy wanted me to 'learn how to' ride prior to a saddle. So, for two years...bareback, it was.
One of my favorite things to do every morning was to jump on Blaze and follow daddy with his load of hay. Down the gravel road, around the lazy curve and into a gate leading to the upper pasture. I was in heaven.
Now, this horse was not your automatic, smooth moving animal. He had a stilted trot and pounded the dirt with every step. I had done well for my first few weeks..learning...feeling proud...until -- one morning we headed down the gravel road in a hard trot.
His back came up, my butt went down and the only problem was the fact that I missed him as I cam down!
S P L A T!! Nothin' but gravel. Ouch and ouch, again. Daddy stopped the old red chevy pick-up and walked back to me. Tears flowing, I handed him the reins and said, "I'm not gettin' back on him'!!! Calmy, my daddy answered, "daughter, you'll get back on or we'll sell him tomorrow." Guess what, I couldn't get back on fast enough.
From that day forward I became a second Annie Oakley of sorts! I learned to balance, ride and go with the wind regardless of speed. From Blaze, I moved on into more attractive, faster moving horses. When you learn to ride bareback for a couple of years, you learn to 'become one with the horse'..it's like you're one piece in movement, syncopated and rythmical at every gait.
My year with lap band has been somewhat like my first year with that old, knobby kneed gelding. I've fallen off a couple of times, but have climbed back on with more determination than before.
Rather than face defeat and the possibilty of return to bad health, I chose to ride hard and go with the wind. It hasn't been easy. It's been a learning curve for an entire year.
However, I am proud of myself and I have proven to ME that I am very capable of managing my new lifestyle. I want to move on as I did with my different horses. It can only get better and offer more fun with each passing day.
So, to any of you reading this...BUCK UP!! Get with it and turn to a healthier style of living. For obese people, the battle never ends. But, with determination, the battle can be a win-win in your column with the right attitude.
Here's to weight loss, improved health, ease in movement and a long, happy life!
A family with seven kids had owned him, allowed the kids to pound him too death on pavement over the years and then, threw him away at the Cameron Park Stables in Waco. My dad saw him, knew he couldn't move all that fast and away we went...to the farm, Blaze in the trailer and my heart pumping out of my ears!
I had just turned six years of age then and didn't get a saddle until age 8. My daddy wanted me to 'learn how to' ride prior to a saddle. So, for two years...bareback, it was.
One of my favorite things to do every morning was to jump on Blaze and follow daddy with his load of hay. Down the gravel road, around the lazy curve and into a gate leading to the upper pasture. I was in heaven.
Now, this horse was not your automatic, smooth moving animal. He had a stilted trot and pounded the dirt with every step. I had done well for my first few weeks..learning...feeling proud...until -- one morning we headed down the gravel road in a hard trot.
His back came up, my butt went down and the only problem was the fact that I missed him as I cam down!
S P L A T!! Nothin' but gravel. Ouch and ouch, again. Daddy stopped the old red chevy pick-up and walked back to me. Tears flowing, I handed him the reins and said, "I'm not gettin' back on him'!!! Calmy, my daddy answered, "daughter, you'll get back on or we'll sell him tomorrow." Guess what, I couldn't get back on fast enough.
From that day forward I became a second Annie Oakley of sorts! I learned to balance, ride and go with the wind regardless of speed. From Blaze, I moved on into more attractive, faster moving horses. When you learn to ride bareback for a couple of years, you learn to 'become one with the horse'..it's like you're one piece in movement, syncopated and rythmical at every gait.
My year with lap band has been somewhat like my first year with that old, knobby kneed gelding. I've fallen off a couple of times, but have climbed back on with more determination than before.
Rather than face defeat and the possibilty of return to bad health, I chose to ride hard and go with the wind. It hasn't been easy. It's been a learning curve for an entire year.
However, I am proud of myself and I have proven to ME that I am very capable of managing my new lifestyle. I want to move on as I did with my different horses. It can only get better and offer more fun with each passing day.
So, to any of you reading this...BUCK UP!! Get with it and turn to a healthier style of living. For obese people, the battle never ends. But, with determination, the battle can be a win-win in your column with the right attitude.
Here's to weight loss, improved health, ease in movement and a long, happy life!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Today's Pic...March 6, 2010
I went to Kirkland's to browse...they had a great mirror. I was fascinated when I stopped....
You can see a change in my face from my last two week's work!
Yahooooooooooooooooooo....
That, my friends, is what it's all about!!!
Left pic at Kirkland's
Right pic in the bedroom mirror....oh well...ya duz tha best ya can when ya can!!
The First Year has Gone
And, so, the first year came and went (on the 12th). My life has completely changed, my personality is totally different and I can out walk most commn folk these days if they dilly dally!I was on the brink of self destruction in July, 2008 when I happened upon a Baylor College of Med PPO for the first time. He instantly recommended me for Lap Band surgery, knowing that my health issues would fade with the weight gone.
And, thus, the journey began. The pic on the left was the day before surgery. The middle pic was about two months after and the right pic is today. This has been a journey and so it continues. Nothing worth having in life, comes easy or without focus. I have gone through mental, social, emotional and physical changes by the week.
I dropped weight instantly during the first three months and then struggled on a plateau. I finally sorted through the necessities of the band and reminded me...
the tummy is the size of a large egg
if you wait for it to allow, you can eat the wrong high caloric foods]
the band did not take care of my mental hang ups
snacks are not a part of a banders life
going to bed on a full tummy, doesn't cut it
minimal intake during the day is the key
no one can do this for me
how can I change my status quo to more success
Understand, I'm extremely pleased with my band. To have normal b/p and blood sugar, etc. is the most rewarding thing in the world. Also, I didn't do this to be skinny like today's models...however, I am ready to drop another 50 or so. So, read on and discover how I have effectively come to a self understanding in the last two weeks.
To see the scale go up one pound, two pounds or more...is the most frightening thing in my life today. Didn't affect me like that in the old days, but, hey, after surgery, financial input, recovery and meeting with my surgeon every month for the first six months...somehow has left a strong imprint on my brain.
Two weeks ago, I announced to Michael...I am having oatmeal for breakfast, my main meal of the day no later than 2 pm and a can of Healthy Request Campbell's soup or another oatmeal at night. I have allowed my self to enjoy one protein bar a day and I consume iced tea, tons of water and few favortie juices now and then.
Since I changed my routine, lowered my intake to a small amount every 24/7, I have come down five magic pounds. You see, without work, personal changes and more...nothing is a magic bullet.
Some of the rewards these days....
fitting in a booth at a restaurant
ordering an appetizer or eating a couple bite's off M's platter
wearing smaller sizes
fitting in the theatre seat and not hanging over
crossing my legs
sitting 'Indian style' at night in my recliner, if I choose
able to tie shoes without fainting
going down a couple sizes in the 'over the shoulder boulder holder' category
going down to regular size 18 from a woman's size 24 (a couple of 16's in there as well)
walking in a teacher's classroom and having no 'oh, my gosh, look at her stares from students)
fitting in a student's desk to observe the teacher
fitting in tight stalls in the restroom
able to ride my bike at top speed for exercise
bowling like a maniac, throwing a 12 pound ball
no edema of any kind any place for the past twelve months
sleeping and resting on an empty tummy
and, the list goes on
I have some ups and downs in life in the past six months. Some things have taken my focus and caused me to waiver in my journey. However, the bottom line for anyone in this situation is SELF. If you don't do it yourself, for yourself, and like it, WHY DO IT AT ALL???
Do I have occasion to excuse myself from the dinner table at holidays to go and empty my too fast amounts I threw down. Yep. Does it make a difference? Yep. Does it slow me down? Yep. Does it make me remember what I must do? Yep. Do I have regrets? Nope.
There's no room for self pity, self destruction or 'oh, woe is me'...it's a job and like Nike, JUST DO IT. Do I have a goal weight in mind? Yes...but this is a never ending thing in my life now. I will never gain my weight back...I love living life with a smile on my face.
Rather that living to eat...I now eat to live and lose more pounds.
Many of you have supported me, listened to me, loved me and been there throughout this entire time. Please, hang around another year and wait to see 'less of me'...okay?
The song says "Life's A Dance, You Learn as You Go"....I'm dancin' as fast as I can! And, I've even learned to dance in the rain! I find ways to make my own sunshine...and, for many of you...you completely understand where I'm coming from!
Wishing you a great spring and summer! Yep, would love for you share comments here and be honest!! Nope, I won't pout.
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