The Wee Hours of the Morning

Life has lots of twists and turns. Some days we travel a seemingly straight path, no hiccups, no issues, no out of the ordinary events. It's smooth sailing on a crystal blue sea, calm as glass splattering impressive reflections back in your face.

Other times, we fidget, the path has many challenges, almost like a maze and regardless of how much in control we feel we are...we're not for that day. This night is one of those times for me. Dealing with RLS (restless leg syndrome) presents it's ugly head ever so and it wins hands down.

Forgetting to pick up the refill on the meds for this beast has cost me an entire night's rest and peace. In the wee hours, I signed up for the least expensive Netflix offer, watched The Proposal on my 27" monitor and slowly began cleaning out desk drawers that were overflowing with junk and more junk.

As I sifted through 'stuff' in one of deep-pocketed drawers, laying on the very bottom, tucked neatly back in the corner, I found a 'Happy Mother's Day' card given me by my mother and dated May, 1994. No, I've never been a mother, except as a classroom teacher with hundreds of students....but, she always shared her day with me in a special way.

The card contains a beautiful verse about a daughter and she encapsulated the entire effort in her own words and handwriting:
"You are so special I can't even think of enough ways to thank you or love you. Keep on being you!"
Love,
Mother

Sometimes we get busy in the art of life and fail to recognize some of our strengths and inner most desires or thoughts. At those particular times, it certainly enhances our self thought when we accidentally stumble upon a lasting memory.

The past months have offered many unique challenges in this life. I've been high on a mountain-top and down in the lowest of valleys some days. Although the rythm changes somewhat, we still manage to make our way to the next marker and start over. Due to life changes this spring, I have discovered various things about myself.

I have become a stronger person after dealing with various issues. My change began with my lap band surgery in March, 2009. Once I stepped into that spotlight, my health returned, my energy level kicked up to mach speed and my desire for living life hit an all-time high. A few days ago, someone approached me in the grocery store saying, 'are you Pat Freedman?' I turned with a smile and said, 'that's me'...and she sighed a relief saying, 'well, I saw you and thought it was you, but I wasn't sure.'

Those words were music to my ears. The last time that friend had seen me, I was about 55 pounds heavier. That encounter was the highlight of that day and enabled me to realize I have been successful.

Throughout the past year, I've had family and friends who have been my cheerleaders, my sideline coaches, my ego trip andmore. Without those folks, my life would be stagnant. You see, being a people person means I give and get in return from them. To me, that's what life's about. We enrich our minds daily with passing nods, comments, how are you's and more. Thus, I will always be in the crowd smiling and chatting. Many times, we help others more than they help us, but, it's life in the simplest form.

I will soon be single again. Another 'run' at life, in a different direction. Although my marriage did not work to ultimate good, it was a life changing experience and I have grown deep and wide from the experience. Being single again does not imply failure nor giving in to life. It means, new beginnings, new experiences, new friends and more.

One of life's easiest avenues is that of 'quitting' ... a cheap cop out in my opinion. We have no way of knowing what the future holds in store, but we have the ability to grab the brass ring and make it the best ride of our lives. That's me...no regrets, no stumbling blocks...simply a giant wall of 'life's building blocks' for me.

I'm thankful for friends and family being around during all of this experience. From the experience of marriage, to banding and now, divorce, I've grown stronger in many ways thanks to you, being there.

I'm not sure how 'special' I really am, but my sweet mother declared it so. And, really, my mother didn't have to 'thank' me for anything. It was my pleasure sharing a fun life with her and watching her grow into her twilight years as a happy senior adult, a lover of life and family and a gal who loved her chocolate!!!

The best I can do as I come into my 62nd birthday in September...KEEP ON BEING ME!!! I'll see ya on one of life's paths in the very near future!