Not the Jolley Roger, but Good Thoughts

Lavega High School sat facing Bellmead Drive. Of course, that was the main drag that carried us everywhere. It took us to Dairy Queen, to Waco, to the Dairy Queen, to everywhere! As you came out of the main building, to your left, across the narrow street was an old five and dime...owned by the Lindsays.
Yes sir, just as you cleared the front door of the store...there it was...the diamond in the rough...the true reason for going in there...it was...THE CANDY COUNTER! Yeeeehaww.
Back then, if you had a nickel ... you were rich. They sold Valomilks (the creamy white, ooey gooey candy with rich chocolate), they sold the fabulous corn suckers (all sugar, but flavored with cherry, grape, everything) and they sold all of the 'back then' good tasting stuff. If I hurried at the end of the day (before I got a car as a Junior) I could run over, grab a sweet treat and make it back in time to catch the bus. Life was good! One pound at a sweet time!
At the back of the building sat the old Band Hall for those of who 'tooted.' And, to your right as you came out, sat the Science building. Since I started 'band' in fifth grade and was moved to the old high school campus that year...I was there for eighth grade math. My future husband was there, in that Science wing as well. We all knew him as WILD BILL GREINER(T?). For some reason I fell desperately in love with Wild Bill. Didn't matter that his eyes were almost goofy. He wasn't really tall, but he sported jet black hair and what I thought was a deep, terrific voice. I hated math, but I loved Wild Bill. Or, was it Science? Doesn't matter...sigh....
During my ninth grade year, I had Study Hall in the Science building and Coach Ray Chancellor was our Homeroom GUARD!! He wasn't really very tough, he always had coaching things in front of him...however; one day he left the room briefly. We had a lot of fun when we could. I coerced Sally to go look in the dark room. Why it was in that class, I have no idea...but, once she cleared the doorway, I shut the door and locked her in. It gave us a good laugh (at her expense) and I received the only D-Hall in my life for that act of stupidity. I was a kid doing kid things and living life in high school.
I guess Thursday night bonfires were the absolute most fun. We'd all gather around the big bonfire, band with instruments in hand, cheerleaders doing their sexiest moves while leading the cheers and it was good. Immediately following the bonfire, many of us jumped in our cars and head to downtown Waco and Austin Avenue...the real drag back then!!
A best friend, Pat Livingston used to go with me and we'd cruise, up and down and up and down. Now, remember, I lovedliving out in the country. When I headed home, it was a long, dark drive, but that never caused me concern. I did however put the metal to the pedal and got home quickly, most nights.
There were always a few 'looneys' who'd hang out on the country roads sometimes and my dad decided it was the best idea if I put 'ol Rip in the back seat my 1964 Ford Fairlane. He was the great protector. And, so, I did. It was somewhat comforting to have this giant with really big teeth and a bad temperament if any bad person approached my car!
On one particular Thursday night (bonfire time)...I put Rip in the backseat and off we went. He laid quietly in the car until it was over and when Pat and I headed to Austin Avenue, we had a handsome chaperon.
As we cruised (we thought we were so cool), two guys pulled up beside us and said, "hey, how 'bout ya'll meet us up on the HEB parking lot...we'll go get somethin' to drink." Pat turned and looked at me (Rip was asleep on the backseat), we smiled and she replied, "okay, see ya there in a sec." As we turned into the parking lot, those guys were already there, primed to take two lovely, charming high school girls to get a coke.
They insisted we get in their car and we refused. However, if they wanted to come and ride with us, that was doable. HA!! They leaped out of that car, grabbed Pat's door handle and flung the door open, grabbing and pulling the back of the seat forward! WHAT A HOOT! Rip came up on all fours, gnashing his teeth and telling them, no, no, no. Those guys were as white a sheet and as they jumped in their car...we decided they probably were going home to change pants!! We were bad, but we sure had fun.
Ya see, growing up in the country for me was not a challenge. It was the way everyone should have been living. 300 acres, horse, dogs, pets galore, hay barns, hunting when it was in season, etc. What I never realized was some of my old friends were somewhat envious of my life in the country. They wished for room, they wanted a horse, they loved to come and visit.
Right before my retirement as Instructional Coordinator in Humble ISD, I somehow was connected with Shirley and Curtis's email address. I sent her a hello and I smiled when I received her reply. We both had made our careers in education, she was a Principal, me a Coordinator, but to my surprise, she told me they had a place in the country with horses and dogs. Her dog at that time was getting old, not long for the good life and she said something like, "when I can get another dog, I'm getting a German Shepherd like you had in the country!"
Well, blow me over and give a corn sucker!! Little had I known that some folks truly envied my lifestyle. And, as far as that goes, there are many people who observe us daily, weekly or only when we bump into them in a store and most likely, they are watching our demeanor, our body language and more.
I've been a 'big gurl' all of my life. I finally accepted my fate years ago and moved forward with the Pat smile and love of life. I always have always tried to look neat and be 'in' with the crowd and I guess it's all worked. As I am moving forward to this life changing surgery, I'm excited. I'm going to see what the 'rest of the world' has been living as the 'thin folk!'
Regardless of size, color, zits or not, we owe it to ourselves and all others to be the best role model possible. Always remember, someone is silently watching and making mental notes of your actions regardless of age...yours or theirs!!
We shape students character every day by what we do and what we say. And, we shape other people's thoughts now and again and become the leaning post for some. Remember...do the best you can whether you're up tuit or NOT!!!

R I P ... Nope, Not Rest In Peace

Growing up on a farm has so many facets associated with it. Tractors, cows, baby calves, pets, horses, fishin' and so much more. In order to keep everything in it's place, without someone 'lifting' it in the dead of night, required the work of a super farm dog. We had him!! The most gorgeous black and silver German Shepherd you would ever want to see.
Yes, he was a great, great grandson of the good 'ol Rin Tin Tin and yes, I grew up watching Rin Tin Tin go and save the world!! German Shepherds are faithful, protective and so powerful. The reason for Rip's existence on our farm came when my dad discovered someone was stealing gas from our farm gas tank. I had begged for years to have a GS and finally the request took care of itself.
Upon his arrival, he had to remain chained so he would know he was HOME! He was ten months old and was given to me by an old Bellmead friend who had raised him in a litter and sold him to a Baylor couple. Rip got too large, their time too short and they had returned him to Beverly. Daddy put him on a 30' chain connected to the garage out in the back yard. The chain was made from cow chains all connected. (Cow chains were individual chains with big numbers attached...each cow on the place wore her very own for identification)
There are many stories about Rip, but one particular came to mind this early morning. Mother and I were never expected to nor allowed to do any 'farm' work of any kind. The most I got to do was round up the cows prior to afternoon milking and I loved it, I saddled the horse and took off to bring them up from the bottom pasture, across the gravel road and into the 'lot'.
The vehicle of choice on the farm was a 1964 worn out baby blue Chevy pick-up. It hauled hay, pulled trailers, carried feed and gave me hours of fun riding in the back, on the hood and sometimes I sat on the roof. Back in those days...we just enjoyed life!
One, hot summer afternoon, I was 'under the weather', daddy was running late and he asked mother if she would come and take the pick-up and round up the 'girls'. She did and I watched the tailgate of the 'ol blue truck slink down below the hill into the bottom and head towards the slew (a long body of water) to begin the mighty round-up. I returned to the television set to continue my boring afternoon.
Several minutes passed and I began hearing the horn of the truck. That was nothing unusual...but it kept honking, honking, honking. Now, you can honk til the 'cows come home' but they are not going to get in a rush.
Finally, I walked out on the big front porch and wandered over to the side where I faced the barn and lot. As I cleared the front door, I thought I heard mother's voice...but couldn't imagine why. As I reached position on the porch and gazed toward the end of the driveway, I burst out in laughter. There came mother...the truck trudging very slowly towards the barn and there was Rip!! His head was hanging out of the driver's window! WHAT?!
Mother stopped the pick up and shoved the door open, yelling, "Pat call him and get him off me and out of this truck!!!" I called and quickly he bounded to the ground with a 'smile on his face'. There was no way I could control my laughter.
I jumped off the porch, running to find out what happened. One old cow refused to rise when she approached in the truck, so, mother opened the door, left it open, walked and kicked the cow in the behind to make her rise. When she turned to get back in the driver's seat, there stood Rip. He was claiming HIS TRUCK. You see, she never drove that truck, ever. So, all of this to Rip was out of the norm.
She told Rip to get out of the truck ... he lowered his head and starred. Since they were way down in the pasture and the temp was soaring, she had to oooch back in the seat, too hot to walk.
Picture this...she's in the seat, he's standing on the seat over her legs, his head bobbing out the window and her arms are up, over his back, hands gripping the wheel for dear life. She was fearful that he would bite her, but she had no choice. It was a comical site and finally, all said and done, she could laugh about it as well. That was a memory etched in stone!
That old german shepherd dog was our security blanket. He took care of the entire place and all of the family. Unconditional love carved his path and led him to 'duty' around the clock.
If people could have that depth of love, tireless service and endless work ethic, what a place this would be. What does this have to do with getting a round tuit? Nothing, really. But it brings to focus how we all worked together as a family unit to cover the bases each and every day. We were strong as a team and family. For the Freedman girls, there were no real 'jobs' but when there was need to 'fill in' the simple places, we did.
Lesson learned throughout childhood, stick to it. Stay after it till you 'git er done!!' Much of that learned 'stick with attitude' is what I rely on today. Focus, intellect and inner strength will see me through this monumental change I am facing. How's your self concept and desire for excellence? Could you crawl under a 90 pound dog who had claimed your seat? Dunno...

And Then, There Were Two

Our mother came from a family of ten great kiddos. There were four sisters and six brothers. Mother was born August 16, 1915 and she was the 'next to last!' Hubert, the baby brother of the entire group was the last and last November, we celebrated his 90 th birthday. After that, came December and Aunt Lois's birthday, 97. The last two that we continue to hold in thought and prayer and love as we always have.
Thinking of Aunt Lois tonight, I recall many of her visits to our home in Bellmead when it was mother and me living there. She lived in Galveston all of her life until several years ago when her children relocated her to Clear Lake City. But...her visits were fun, we all acted crazy and one never knew what stories would be told!
As I recall the laughter rattled our windows on several occasions. I distinctly recall the spring when Aunt Lois came, she was 67 and every day she drove over to Figure World to do her workout.. She was battling a frozen shoulder, I think, and this was assigned her as a part of her recovery.
One of the old pictures I have of her was in our home, standing in front of the cradenza that day,dressed for exercise. In long pants, you say? Why, certainly not!!! All the Davis gals were lookers in their early years and for the most part, remained so throughout life. Aunt Lois had dawned black liatards with a skin tight, black body suit and a pink scarf tied round her neck!! Ooo, lala! Off she went every morning while there...we teased her, made her smile and ushered her out the door!
She and mother were like twins, although five years apart in age. They liked the same colors, the same style clothes, the same this, the same that. They would talk long distance and discover they each had been shopping and basically, almost purchased the same item!!
One day when we were visiting her in Galveston, we stopped at one of the little malls and went browsing in a department store. We had a 'running joke' with her about BLOUSES!! If you got her within 100 feet of a department store, Aunt Lois was going to buy a blouse!!
On that particular day, I strolled to the counter as she was checking out. The clerk said, "may I please see your license?" Slowly, Aunt Lois fumbled her wallet out of her purse and onto the counter. She opened her wallet to her picture and I began to laugh. No, I wasn't being disrespectful, I called mother over to the counter and said, "mother, please take your driver's license out and show us." She did...both pictures of those two sisters were almost identical. They each had 'blinked' when they said smile and their eyes were half closed. The two of them looked as though they had been on a drinking binge.
I told you, twins, five years apart!!
Words cannot describe the closeness these two shared throughout life. They worried over each other, they came to help out when the other faced health issues and they seemed to know magically what was happening to the other.
For the last eight weeks of my mother's life, she struggled in the hospital to 'win the race' just one more time. It was not to be. A few days before mother's demise, I was sitting beside her bed when the phone rang in the middle of the afternoon. It was Nancy, Aunt Lois's daughter telling me Aunt Lois had suffered a stroke and was in St.Luke's Hospital just across the walkway from us. I thanked her for the call...and, as weak as my mother was, she whispered, "was that Nancy?" I replied, "yes." Mother said, "what's wrong? Is Lois okay?" I fibbed and said, "yes everything is fine."
I didn't want to share that news with my sweet mother ... it would have broken her heart. Two days passed and out of the clear blue she said, "why did Nancy really call? Lois is in trouble, isn't she?" I told the truth and told her what had happened. In her most loving voice, mother whispered with a smile, "I'm glad she's okay, one of us has to make it." It was only two days after that mother departed this life.
You see, we all have grown into life with love and care, nurturing and reassurance and strong ties to all of the important people in our lives. We have 'been there' for each other, we have held each other in thought and prayer and we have been the solid rock in trying times.
As I journey into this surgery and life altering experience, I hold fast to all of the marvelous people, memories, and more that have brought me to this shore. I have fear, anxiety, excitement and all, rolled into one big package.
The bottom line however is...family, unconditional love and emotional strength we gain from those around us enable us to do great things. I saw my surgeon for the first time today. I have a huge decision to make by January 1. He has strongly encouraged me to have the BYPASS instead of the LAP BAND procedure. According to him, I am a prime candidate due to all the issues I have from the sleep apnea round in March, 2004. What will I do? Not sure tonight.
I have a September appointment with my tremendous pulmonologist and I have to discuss a lengthy surgery with him...due to the pulmonary hypertension of my lungs. I also must see a Baylor College of Med Cardiologist for some major tests to make sure the heart's still tickin'...so, it's a journey and the time will fly!!!
Best part, I'm gettin' a ROUND TUIT!!
As I close out this tale, the word tickin' reminded me of a funny, funny event. Nancy and Donald had a gorgeous two-story house in Clear Lake City. Of course, Aunt Lois visited often and loved her grand babies and all the events. She wore a hearing aide for many years...it had a tiny, round battery and was a pain to change out. One day she went into the half bath downstairs at Nancy's to change her battery. She also carried her tiny, round, pink heart pill in to take with a cup of water.
She chose to take her pill first, so she laid the battery on the counter. After chugging the pill she removed her hearing aide from her ear and reached for the battery...low and behold it was HER TINY, PINK PILL!!! Yep, she had taken the battery. They rushed her to the emergency room for xrays and all...and I was told that for many months following, Aunt Lois received a phone call every day from the battery company to see how she was doing!!!
Morale to the story....she took a lickin' and kept on tickin'!!! Me thinks I can do that as well!!!

There's A Marshall in Town

Now there was a man who loved life, family and children. He and his family lived in Houston, but when they came to Waco...he came to our house. Marshall never forgot a single story in his entire life and during his visit, we heard them all over again, one at a time. Mother, daddy and I worked a signal system while he was there. When one of us had listened all we could for a period of time, we gave a head nod...meaning, rescue ME!!
We loved him and no one would ever have hurt his feelings for anything in the world. Thus, it was a team effort. One of my early childhood memories from the little house on the road was when he came one summer. Remember, country, miles between...meaning a loaf of bread had to come from the little store back up the way, called Gallman's. They had the best ice cold drinks in the old timey box with crushed ice. Whew! Would take your breath for an instant and cool you off.
On one particular morning, mother said, "we're out of bread, I need to run to Gallman's and get a loaf...do ya'll want to go with me?" Instantly, (I think I was 5) I said, "no, please, I wanna play cowboys and indians with Marshall." He agreed that sounded fun, so off she went, leaving us to play.
Mother and daddy had a four poster bed with tall, spindled posts. That was the ideal place to tie up an Indian. So, after a brief discussion of who's the cowboy and who's the Indian, I told Marshall, "come here cowboy. Put your back against this post and put your hands behind your back." He minded so well. I took two of daddy's belts and lashed him to the bed. I was the best five year old cowgirl you'd ever want to meet!
I then left the bedroom and went back into the living room to play with stuff. In a few minutes I heard, "hey, cowgirl, come turn this 'ol Indian loose..." I'd reply, "can't do it, your my prisoner."
Gallman's was about 30-35 minutes round trip. By the time mother got back, her brother was worn out.
As soon as she cleared the door he shouted, "Cille, help me, the cowgirl tied me up and won't let me loose!" Let's just say we had a few words and that was the last adult I tied to the four poster bed during the cowboy/indian game.
We had a switch tree just outside the back door step. When you were in trouble, you had to go get a 'good enough' switch to be switched against the back of you legs! Trust me, it didn't take long to figure out what was barely 'good enough.' You didn't want mother to be the one to go and collect the switch. Don't remember if I got a switchin' that day, probably not...we had company.
They were not detrimental to us, but they stung like fire. Trust me...they made you think before you did something else stupid! I think, let me see, yes, that was called a consequence for wrong choices. Seems as though many parents today should have a switch tree outside the back door.
Bottom line...we all make choices. This go around, it would be nice if my consequence for missed steps would be a switch tree. Not so, however. Throughout life, I've chosen to enjoy all of the great sweets, fried foods, hamburgers, etc. My consequence now? Medical help to get me back in shape for the 'twilight years' ahead. I'm thankful. I do have some fears, I have excitement, I have many self talks daily now. This is something that must be done and done properly. I can not negate any necessary steps...thus, I am getting a round tuit every day now, 24/7.
Can you say R O U N D T U I T ????

Out of Gas

When I was a teenager, the road to our home was a washboard, gravel road. We lived in the 'white house on the hill' and had a two rail white fence that skirted the huge front and side yards. As you left the big city of Bellmead (!) you drove on paved road til you passed the cemetary and golf course. That's where the fun began!
When I got my license, we had a gray and white 1956 Ford. It was cool looking to me. Kinda sporty, yet versatile in many ways. I loved to drive it, made me look good. There were no speed limits in the country; thus, who knew? Yes, I sometimes exceeded our dad's recommended speed of slow...and bypassed medium. I guess I kicked it up a notch or two to fast.
The trick was, as you steamed down the long gravel hill after you passed the Turk's and Sudberry's farms, you had to prepare. At the bottom of the gravel hill, came a small, old cement road that had been built across the bottom road there. It was there for a purpose. Most of my life, when big rains fell, the Tehuacana Creek flooded that low road and washed across it, moving at warp speed.
After you initiated the old concrete road, you came upon the ancient iron-railing bridge. It was an icon. Not sure when it was built, but boy could you ever scamper across that. The tires played a tune on the uneven old railroad type logs that formed the path across. Soon after clearing the challenges you rounded the first of three long curves.
That's where the invisible speed limit sign stood. It was called daddy, watching out the windows of the long, white milk barn. As you made the winding 's' around the way, you finally reached our long, gravel drive. Slowly, you pulled past the house, past the barn and into the large backyard. Remember, it was country!
As a teenager, I was privileged to carry my parent's gas credit card and was told I could back up to the farm pump anytime and fill her up. Twice in my life, I ran out of gas while in high school. It was aggravating, there were no cell phones. It was stupid because I just didn't get A ROUND TUIT!!
And, I had to face my dad! Those steel gray eyes could burn a hole right through ya!
Gas back then was 19.5 cents a gallon, full service and all the trimmings. His question on each blunder was "how in the world could you let the car run out of gas?" Well, actually it was easy. Now, I never told him that...it was just easy. You ran around, hauled your friends all over Bellmead, took your car to lunch at the Dairy Queen and drove home...v e r y s l o w l y! NOT.
I will tell you this...after the second time, it became a priority. I never let that happen again. My irresponsible choices led to those calamities. It was too easy to let everything else in life get in the way!
When I remember special things and times from the past, it helps me pause and think about the present. I have a challenging, life changing event about to occur. It must be my priority to stay focused and play by all the rules.
I've begun experiencing the six vitamins a day I must take...spaced throughout the day and night. And, I've purchased a few samples of the liquid protein I'm required to use two weeks prior to surgery and a month after surgery. They are, shall I say, different consistency and different tasting? I must find the flavors that agree with me prior to the final countdown. It's all new, somewhat mind boggling and totally strange to me.
Once in a while in the past few days, a voice says...it's a while until surgery...then, my conscience kicks in and says DO IT. I've done it and will continue. And, tomorrow I see the surgeon for the first time.
Anxiety? Yes. Curiosity? Yes Shallow breathing? Yes And, why? A new doctor who will change my life and script every step throughout this experience and who knows what tests I will be required to have? Not all bad...it's good to know that everything is in good working order. But, one more challenge and a necessary part of the deal.
I make it a priority every day to get a round tuit...my husband and I even went to the gym yesterday and he has started me on a weight program and a walking program. These are two essentials that must occur regularly with me from now. No room for hesitation, doubt or non-participation. But, life has brought me to this depot, time to ride the train.
Once in a while it's just nice to sit quietly and reflect on life events and get away from it all. Thus, I write!

We Are the Pirates, the Mighty, Mighty Pirates

EVERYWHERE WE GOOO, PEOPLE WANNA KNOW...

LaVega High School, Bellmead, Texas. That was our local high school back in 'our day'. Blue and gold colors, the mighty Pirate mascot, H.P. Miles...favorite band director/author of our School Song and more... and many interesting teachers and events within those walls.
One other favorite teacher comes to mind instantly when I think of LaVega High School. Her name was Mrs. Mabel Legg, Senior English Teacher, mentor and warrior. She had a mind that retained every detail, high expectations for all and the softest smile and voice of any. In all of our Literature studies, rarely did Mabel Legg ever look at her book. Why, you wonder? She had most of the material memorized up, down, forward and backward.
If you named any object on earth, she could instantly recite a poem whether from another author or from her quick, talented gray matter. She wanted her students to excel, to learn and to perform at the ultimate limit of their capabilities. And, we did.
Yes, by the time I had Mrs. Legg, she was older and often, she sat at her desk with her weathered, soft hands together providing a 'resting' place for her chin. Her eyes would be closed and she would sit in silence as we worked. Her room meant pay attention, do your work and above all, score high on tests. You never wanted to disappoint Mabel Legg.
We diagrammed challenging sentences, recited "Whan that Aprille with the...", studied literature until we turned blue in the face, but when it was all said and done...we were SMART!! I had great admiration for her, feared her as I entered my Senior year, loved her as I graduated and thanked her many times throughout life for the strength and persevering attitude I developed due to her classroom. I sent her a letter in the 1990's to thank her and acknowledge her tremendous abilities one more time. She was 99 at that time.
She replied to my letter (4 pages, hand written) and built my confidence more with her kind words and memories of our LaVega days together on the second floor of the old, red brick school house. Many of her students today remain respectful and hold her in high esteem. Although she was an exceptional leader, teacher and more...we found one thing curious about Mabel Legg. That was her husband, Harry. YEP...Harry Legg!! True, and it made us smile often as we whispered about Mabel and Harry!!
You see when I hesitate to remember the places I've been (none too great or magnificent) in life, I can't help but pause to remember all of the strong leaders who touched my life in some way. As they worked with us, they steeped us in respect, enabled us to develop the desire to achieve and experience the excellence of commitment to the end. I wish we had more of those folks around today's students in schools.
Bottom line for me and Mabel...she is one of the reasons I have accomplished some remarkable things in life. Life experiences mold us and shape our destiny, in my opinion. If we are steeped in the 'good stuff' and are willing to buckle down and conquer the odds, we can achieve all things and feel a sense of pride in all we do.
Mabel Legg is simply one more reason I am able to think about the coming months, tighten the shoe laces and ready the body to move into action. The feeling of success is a great emotion. The desire to become better is a strong source of strength. As the six month window begins to slowly slide into a closed and ready position for me, I am gaining momentum.
All things are possible, we simply have to plan the plan and work the plan.

The Freedman Farm

As a child growing up on a big 'ol dairy farm, I thought that's how everyone lived. It was in the country on lots of acres with creeks, small ponds, large ponds and hay barns full of square bales stacked to the ceiling. Adventure was everywhere you looked and major decisions were required with each new sunrise.

I spent my 'little girl' years (until age 7) on what we called Dairy #1. The only requirement I had through all of the farm years was to be happy, have fun, stay out of the tanks (because until age 8, I didn't know how to swim) and throw a rubber ball against our big house about a thousand times a day. How my mother stood the 'kaaa thunk, kaaa thunk, kaaa thunk' against the side of the house was puzzling to me. And, when I needed a change, I threw the ball on top of the huge tin roof and let it roll down to me. The tin roof caused the ball to 'bounce' and roll in a rythm to the edge where it finally fell to earth! In other words, I had musical talents at an early age with different kinds of sound!!
Our yards were huge and cousins came often. We'd play croquet, chase, Red Rover/Red Rover, hide 'n seek and a bunch of other games. When that became boring, we'd sprint to the hay barn where the older boy cousins and my brother would build a tunnel maze up on the top of the huge stack. In order to play, you had to climb from the floor to the roof and be alive at the top!
Someone always had to go through first...through the dark opening, on hands and knees, straining to see in the dark, feeling your way through until saw daylight at the end of the tunnel!! Remember, it was a maze, meaning you could crawl your guts out and suddenly bump into a 'dead end'!! That meant crawl backwards and take the right, dark turn this time.
Now I never really understood the purpose of being the 'guinea pig' mazer and the first through. As a 6 year old, I wanted to be special and crawl FIRST!! The purpose, you ask? To see if there were any snakes, possums or skunks bedded down in there! YIPES! Had I known the real reason I probably would not have participated at all!
Something else we did in the hay barn was to rake the loose hay on the floor into a gigantic pile. From the highest point (the top) we jumped and bounced our way from the top of the stack to the floor. The hay barn housed about a thousand bales...it was huge and very tall! That was fun until the day...my brother jumped and missed the bulk of the stack! His sprained ankle caused our mother to 'catch us' doing that DANGEROUS thing! Rats! That about ended the free sail into a soft nest at the bottom of a very hard, dirt floor!
Also on Dairy #1, we had a great, winding creek that coursed through the lower pasture and the Pecan Meadow. It snaked left and right, shallow in most parts but deep enough in one or two spots to drown someone who didn't know how to swim! I never challenged the swimming hole in the creek because I was afraid of snakes!! Hey, I was only 6 or 7 and yes, I roamed all over the farm 'at will' but water meant snakes! But, my brother, our cousin Eddie and their friend, Tommy did sneak off to the hole on Sunday afternoons.
We'd go to church and always brought friends/cousins home for the afternoon. That was back in the day where we were active kids all day till bedtime. Television was 'new' to the scene and our imaginations for stuff to do far exceeded a small, black and white screen! And computers? Not even a twinkle in our eye back then, no clue...early 1950's...baby boomer kids running around with the wind blowing in our face!
Back to the swimming hole in the creek. Our farmhouse was a huge, old house. You ran in the back door on the back porch to turn sharply to the left and land in the tiny kitchen. A big, white pot sat on the cabinet with a good sized ladle bobbing in it...WATER!!! How good on a hot afternoon. On this particular Sunday afternoon, Jimmy, Eddie and Tommy ran to get a drink...mother said, "stay out of that creek, do you understand?"
As all good boys do, they agreed with a yes ma'am and a head shake. And, off they went..STRAIGHT TO THE SWIMMING HOLE. On one particular day, one of them ( I think it was Eddie ) slipped from the slanted, shallows into the deep water and got caught in the middle of the hole. The story goes that he began yelling for help and Jimmy and Tommy panicked. They didn't know how to swim and save anyone so they grabbed a pair of blue jeans and began lunging the 'leg' out towards Eddie. It took a couple of times, one too many, and he finally was able to grab and hold on for dear life! He had gone under twice and was headed down for the third time. Tragedy was avoided for Eddie in the swimming hole, but nothing avoided in the kitchen! The jig was up...they 'wuz' caught red-handed!! Two offenses, breaking their word of honor with mother and almost drowning!!! Whew, glad I was a good girl!! lolol All I did was sneak down to the creek and watch them shimmy their shirts and jeans off...they swam in their tighty whities!!
I think of the great childhood days we had in the country, the fun, the laughter, the games, the animals and all the rest. Those thoughts bring me back to focus on life today. Wow, yes, it has changed a million times over the years, but because of our parents love, a strong foundation and their success in instilling strong character in us, both of us have been successful in life.
The challenges have been many. Did I make the best decisions every time, NOT. Have I learned strong life lessons from the past, DEFINITELY. Do I have what it takes to 'stand and deliver' in this most recent big challenge/life changing quest? YES. And on any given day when I have time to let the mind roam, I visit the country days...for they were some of the best days of my life!!!
Who knows? Following the Lap Band surgery and weight loss, my life will probably take one more directional change...less pounds, better breathing and able to do more of what I used to enjoy.
Life is a symphony. Sometimes we sit 'first chair' and sometimes we barely maintain a spot in the orchestra. I hope to get back to the FIRST ROW!!!
When you hit a low spot in your busy day, hesitate and take yourself back to the past. Let it be one of those 'magical places and times' that reminds you where you've been and recognize the inner strength to continue!

Unconditional Love

Her name was Sasha, a beautiful little buff American Cocker Spaniel. His name was Norfleet's Cody. He was a most striking, brilliantly splattered Overo Paint horse baby -- a lively stud colt full of energy...they were curious, yet trusting.
During the '80's, I was privileged to train and show top notch Paint Horses. Cody was one the little stallions that came onto the scene via his moma, Luck.
I went to the Crosby Ranch 3-4 times a week and sometimes, Sasha would go along to keep me company. She was another of my dogs that gave unconditional love and she trusted me regardless of the day, time or place.
On one particular day at the ranch, I was really pre-occupied with the horses and did not want her to stray too far. So, for a few minutes, I took a lead line, hooked it to her collar and tied the line to a trailer hitch where she'd be in the shade, be completely safe and out of harm's way (I thought).
When I finished my 'important' whatever I was doing and returned to the long, airy, open hallway of the stable, I heard a strange sound outside the doors. I looked and to my horror, she was twisted and choking too death. With every attempt for her to get air, she twisted and fought in another circle. I scampered through the doorway and grabbed her up in my arms. I had forgotten the lead did not have a swivel on the end and as she had circled, wanting to get to me, the rope had tightened with each turn until her front paws were inches off the ground and she was near death.
I screamed in fear for the young 'helper' to bring me a knife. He ran and knelt beside me saying, "that's a brand new line" I grabbed his knife and said "she's dying" as I slashed the rope in half. Sasha fell to the ground with barely any breath detectable. I lifted her and blew oxygen into her nose several times.
Finally, she roused, took a big breath and moved her head to look me in the eyes. My heart was broken, I had been wreckless in my action and almost cost her, her life. She kissed my arm and cheek as I leaned down to ask forgiveness and, finally, she was able to stand and walk. We're told that dogs live in the 'moment'. She exemplified that on that hot, May afternoon. She loved me as much when it was all over as she had ever loved before. Animals are beyond us in so many ways.
I share this story because it holds pieces of everyday responsibility. Whether it's for myself/yourself or someone I/you love...we must slow down long enough to get a 'reading' for what's necessary, safe and good! When we act without thought, we walk on thin ice. At times we lose focus and 'just do'. For me, now, I must remain focused and make sure I make the right decisions.
As I move through the coming months, I will thrive on unconditional love from husband, family, friends and my little white dog, Percy! I wish not to make wrong moves, but we have no guarantees in this world. In closing I have a couple of important thoughts...be responsible and take special care of those you love...study the options before you grab the wrong 'lead line' and get strangled in mistakes...and, feel safe in the strong relationship you have with the Lord.
I wish blue skies and green lights to everyone today!
Check the lead line before you snap it into place!!

Walk A Mile in My Shoes

It's been a week hasn't it? A very good friend inquired today where was I? It's been a week since I wrote. Let's see, I've been overwhelmed, frustrated and busy with appointments. But, life moves on I have learned, once again.
With all the new expectations and changes in the approaching future, I'm still filling my gas tank and rolling my eyes at the pump, reading the electric meter daily to see how they can possibly get so many KWH's in a month and just taking care of business. I did see my PCP, Dr. Rogers, last Wednesday.
He's good, thorough, spent 30 minutes with me discussing the necessary bases I must cover with him and recommending over the next six months, we target a 30 pound weight loss. Now, this is to fulfill Aetna's requirements of a six month, doctor supervised weight loss program.
Half of me says, do it...it is the expectation. Half of me says, are they kidding? This is just a game to see if I have the stamina for the long run. And so, I'm doing it knowing I will still enjoy some favorite restaurants and favorite meals prior to the surgery date. Nope, not established yet, I see the surgeon on April 8.
I will be so glad when it's all said and done, and Dr. Sherman's initials are carved on my tummy beside his handy work! It will be tremendous to 'lose another person' and carry just me around on my two little feetsies.
One of the consequences I suffered from the undiagnosed sleep apnea is related to my lungs. It's called Secondary Pulmonary Hypertension, meaning, Houston, we've got a problem. The big confusing word I found in all the paperwork sent to me from Dr. Manion's office (my pulmonologist) was Dyspnea. Can you say Dyspnea? So, I asked Dr. Rogers on Wednesday, what does this word mean? His reply, "shortness of breath". Boy does he know his stuff.
Walking for me these days must be done on my terms. Steady pace, slowly and without haste at all. If I rush, lift a lot of weight or do other necessary things in life, I must pause and let 'me' catch up.
I do not share this to depress you, I share this to give understanding to one of the tremendous positives I will get out of my procedure. It will improve a lot and I will be able to do more then than I can do now.
I had fun today. Went to JCPenney's and bought stuff. I've been wanting two new sets of sheets, which I got...each set weighing approximately one thousand pounds as it is packaged. I picked up two sets of matching pillow cases, a pair of Levi's for Michael, two queen pillows, two standard pillows and ...... two big 'ol bath towels. Then the fun began!
I carried those huge bags for a few feet. Paused. I drug those bags a few feet. Paused. I carried them a third time and walked very fast hoping to cover lots of ground. Paused and sucked air! Now, there's a trick to getting short of breath in a department store.
Number 1, you don't want to look like a 'wuss'. So, when you pause, you pretend to be browsing at something. You learn to keep your back to the flow of people and look really busy, when all you're doing is trying to get air in there!
Finally, made it to the back door. Thank goodness, I was parked in the first parking space outside the door. Sound simple? NOT SO! The street between the back door of JCP and the parking space was about a half mile wide!! J/K But brotha's and sista's ... I hit that back door, all bags up in the air and hauled aaaaasssspecial load to the car! WHEW! I thought, finally here.
It's 93 degrees, I have no air and some idiot's waiting impatiently for ME to load my stuff and get out of there!! I would have told them it'd be a minute, but...I HAD NO AIR!!!
Finally, in the car, breathing, breathing, breathing and managed to start the engine and pull out, slowly!! Well, it didn't take all that long to recover, but, it's aggravating most days!
You see, had the sleep ap been diagnosed back when, all of this was totally preventable.
Not an excuse for slowing the thoughts down, just sharing the comical, the insane, the necessary and the carefree.
I still have a smile on my face and I still do and go when and where I wish. By the way, there are some activities that make me breathless....
yeppers, them thar thangs me likes!!! pant, pant, pant
Make your own summation folks, it's time for me to leave da house!!

RED ROSE...Symbol of Love and Care

You're thinking this is about a gorgeous, red rose. Well, in a way it is...the red rose symbolizes love and care. However, today's thoughts are wrapped around the 'old timey' ice cycles that we hung on our 10' christmas trees during my childhood.
Our family was steeped in tradition, holidays topping the list. We lived in Waco and the old Farmer's Market down on Dallas St. was great!!
They carried produce all year around, but at Christmas time, they had a tremendous selection of trees.
Mother, Jim (my brother, 8 years older) and I would go and hunt. Jim would pick one out, pull it from the bunch, tamp it on the ground, spread the limbs and slowly twirl it so we could judge it on a 1-10 scale. The lucky winner had to be at least 10' tall to touch the old country home's ceiling in the living room and exhibit near perfect roundness all over. Final selection made, it was stuffed in the trunk or tied on top of the car and motored out to the farm.
The trip involved winding country gravel roads and as you made your final approach to our house on the hill, you initiated an "S" curve. Once you made that slow roll around the first curve to the left, you could lift your eyes to see the tip top of the old white house with the large television antenna sticking up in the air! To your right, you faced a pond in the corner of the pasture where the dairy cows watered frequently and, finally, you slipped around the two last curves to enter the long, uphill driveway to arrive at the back of our house.
The grand tree was always placed in front of the big 'ol front door and anchored with a piece of twine (most of the years) that ran from wall to wall with the top of the tree nestled against the support. and then, it began. Jim was the meticulous, slow 'have to do things right' guy. I was an 8 year old excited too death over Christmas kid. We placed each 'ball' in the perfect spot, most of mine were coached by his keen eye! And, finally came....THE ICE C Y C L E S! Skinny, shimmering, exciting and aggravating as could be to me. The tree decorating 'coach' began by saying, "Now, Pat, take these one at a time and hang it on the end of the branch." I would reply, "Okie dokie!" My one at a time lasted for about one minute.
Bah, humbug, what a rediculous expectation. Hey, you could take several (in a bunch) cock your arm with hand behind your ear and throttle them at warp speed at the BIG TREE!! Worked like a charm for me, until...I got caught!! Yes, my ultimatum was hang them the RIGHT way or hit the HIGHWAY. Most of the time, I chose the highway...one at a slow time was not meshing with my young, excited Christmas spirit! But, we had the most gorgeous tree in all of Waco, I do know that!
What does this have to do with me today? One at a slow time, that's what. I can't rush this process I'm in at the moment. I have to mind my p's and q's, stay on track and keep my eye on the distant goal. Short term goals in the meantime are highly beneficial, but the prize is waiting at the end. And, who knows, that tree turned out great every season due to sticking to THE PLAN...maybe I will shimmer as much as those ice cycles.
Bottom line for me today --
One day at time, one meal at a time and one pound at a time!
Is there something you should slow down and do 'the right way?' If so, get a round tuit!

It Wasn't Little House on the Prairie

It was my childhood home, the little house on the road. We lived in a small, two bedroom house that sat on the edge of the main gravel road that ran the length of the James Connally Airbase. Even in past family reunions, everyone talked about the 'little house on the road.' It was home. It was warm and inviting. We weren't wealthy, but our parents provided a strong family foundation for us. We lived in the little house on the road until I was 7 or so. Then, we moved.
We moved to the big white house on the hill!! It was great. 10' ceilings (great for Christmas trees), big bedrooms and a huge front porch. If you sat on the porch and looked out over the pasture, or the bottom as we named it, you saw three or four fenced sections with a 'slew' of water running a distance through the main pasture. My dad was a dairyman, my mother was, well, a mother. We had our breakfast and supper (as we called it) together every day. That was a family thing for us.
A lot fun took place in the big 'ol house on the hill. We had birthday parties, after church coffee and cake gatherings, fantastic holidays with all the trimmings and most of all...our secure place where it was safe and warm.
Way down across the bottom ran the tree line of the old creek. For many years when it rained forever, the creek would come of it's banks and completely flood the bottom. It would take a day or so for it to recede back into the banks and allow the drenched, muddy earth to dry again. That was just a part of a prolific country life there. No one broke into a panic, no one shook with fear...that was life on the farm.
Now, all of my first cousins were older than me. My brother was eight years older and everyone else was older. So, I was the little sister. Finally, when I turned '12', I f got an invitation to go to a movie with all of them.
During that particular summer, my daddy had driven me up around the long, winding gravel road to the Hudson's Farm. Mr. Hudson raised pigs. I had begged daddy for a baby pig forever. I wanted to experience raising that particular animal. So it was. When we arrived, Mr. Hudson walked out of barn with two NOT ONE, two baby black and white piglets. They squirmed and wiggled and he put them in my arms. I was soooo tickled...I finally had baby pigs to raise.
Daddy had built a big, square pen made of chicken wire, for them with a low shed for shade in one of the back corners. When they had grown, we'd jump on 'em and ride 'em...until they swept us under that sharp jutting tin roof. We learned to bail like champs!!
If you're not familiar with pigs, they love to have a SLOP hole. Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like! In the front corner of their pen, they had created this nasty, watery mix of slimy mud and muck and stink...good grief Charlie Brown. It smelled to the high heavens. The deal with me and those pigs was -- 'it's your job to carry their feed to them every late afternoon and feed them. The first time you don't do that, it's off to the meat locker for them!' On the farm, everything had a purpose...you grew it, you ate it, you started over!! Oh, and you named them all as well!
Wow! I was getting to go to the movie with the big kids. I decided to wear my newest short set mother had bought me so I'd look really 'cool' with the older teenagers! I was dressed, hair fixed, smile in place and almost time to leave.
My daddy opened the back screen door and shouted, 'have you slopped your hogs?' Oops, 'no, I didn't get around tuit!!' He replied, 'better go do it or they're gone tomorrow!' Now, I didn't want to waste time changing clothes.
All I had to do was carry two half full buckets of feed about 100 yards or so and poor it over the fence. I did. I forgot how hungry hogs became after a long, lazy afternoon of soaking in the mud and slime! They greeted me in the front corner of the pen...yep...the SLOP HOLE! Those two hit that hole and launched a solid wall of stinky, slimy mud on me from head to toe. I dropped the buckets and ran home insulted, angry and crying my eyes out. Needless to say, that was the last time I was willing to feed those two boys. They went off in the trailer the next morning.
No, I didn't get to go to the movie. What had I learned via my procrastination? If you accept the responsibility for something, stick with it. There will be no good end if you deviate because a more attractive choice walks through the door.
I've thought about that escapade many times in my life. It was another great piece of my childhood in the country! I got to experience things that other kids never would nor could they imagine living in the country, on a farm with acres and acres of land to explore! Would I do it over? In a heartbeat, although times have changed.
There were so many things our parents did that nurtured our spirit, our mental and emotional health and our character. I thank them often for all of that. Our home was a strong, Christian home (yes, we attended Concord Baptist Church and in the summer we used the old 'funeral fans' to keep cool). We learned the value of respect, responsibility, trustworthiness and more.
As I move ahead in the coming weeks, that strong, deep surge of a tremendous upbringing will keep nudging me forward.
Never think that all of the things you experienced did not influence you in some way. And, never think that there is not someone watching you, listening to you and perhaps wishing they could be like you! One of my major responsibilities as an Instructional Coordinator in Humble ISD was to work with a Character Education Program district wide.
A favorite saying I carried from those years is this...
You shape students (others) character everyday by what you do and what you say.

The Road Less Taken

In the quiet times throughout any given day, my
mind wanders and wonders. I fade into the past
to remember the various events, some good, some not so good and some terrific.
Life is certainly a journey, not a destination. Yes,
we've heard that often throughout our lives, but it
rings true. Destinations require plans that are
laid out specifically with time lines, strategy and
deadlines. Life doesn't work that way!
We sometimes think we have 'plotted our course' and smile as we move forward, but there's always
the possibility of something deterring our momentum. Then comes the choice...how strong are you? Will you survive the challenge and will you land on your feet one more time?
Life's challenges sometimes occur because we never got a round tuit! Yep, it's true. Procrastination has long been my friend. It's easy! My thoughts always lean towards "I can do that tomorrow." What if that bend in the road takes me elsewhere? Do I lose? Do I win? Do I make the best choice?
When the big hurricane, Rita (I think it was) was heading for the Galveston coastline, she grew enormous and was life threatening on many levels. Katrina had gone before with the wrath of the devil in New Orleans and on the Mississippi coastline. Lives were lost, homes and futures destroyed and people left with no where to turn.
Rita impacted my life that particular week. I debated staying or leaving, but I thought too long. The morning before she was due to hit land, I finally decided to pack the car and run. It was so difficult gathering important paperwork, a few special life pictures, jewelry, etc. Choices had to be finalized in a short period of time. I filled the car to the brim including trunk space and seat space, leaving just enough room for a pillow to lay length wise next to the arm rest! That was my white heart 'n soul's spot, Percy.
We pulled out of our driveway at 10:00 a.m. and traveled ten miles across FM 1960 to I45 N...we got on I45 N at 3:10 that afternoon! Yes, five hours to travel ten miles. My heart wanted to U-turn and come back home, my mind said no, go ahead. Percy slept on the soft pillow, once in a while raising his sweet head to stare into my eyes and once he saw I was ok (hah! faked it for him 'cause we were in trouble) he'd lay his head back on the pillow and drift away for another hour. His trust in my decision making was amazing and his unconditional love gave me strength.
I had one special friend who sent text messages to me throughout the day urging my progress and negating my retreat! He wanted me safe and out of harm's way.
At 9:45 p.m. I realized I had a phone message on the cell. It was Nancy, a sweet cousin, wondering where I was? Did I leave? Where was I going? I returned her call and she told me there was a place for me in Huntsville if I could get there. I contacted the folks in Huntsville and finally arrived in their driveway at 2:15 a.m. Yes, I drove a total of 67 miles over a period of 16 hours. I almost kissed the ground in the wee hours of that day!
Percy and I had traveled among thousands, twelve lanes all heading north, creeping inches in an hour, watching the torment for large families and suffering the 98 degree heat of the afternoon. I offered Percy water ever so, but he did not drink one drop! He knew we were in some kind of fix, there was no potty option and finally after 13 hours, he roused and stood with feet on console, eyes searching. Finally, he had TO GO! I managed to get to a strip of shoulder and park. It was the first and only time I've seen him DO IT instantly!! Bless his little heart!
You see, if I had moved myself earlier in the week and got a round tuit...I would have been out of harm's way and happy!! I delayed. I hesitated. I procrastinated. It cost me a lot. I can't explain the feelings and emotions I experienced for a few weeks after it was all said and done.
Being alone in that car (except for Percy), watching all of the saga unfold and wondering would my gas hold out...not a cool experience, by any means.
Regardless, we returned home safe and sound. The hurricane went just to the East of Humble and nothing was touched in my area. But, it could have been different. The only choice I had was to 'run' and I did that to the best of my ability.
And, so, that brings me to today and what I'm doing for my personal health. I have finally chosen the road less taken. It's the road to success and longer life. I could continue on my old course to whatever, whenever, however...but, I'm making directional changes these days. I still have many hoops to go through, but, at least I'm not procrastinating for once.
I'm not sure how fast I'll travel with this one or how many miles I'll walk, but I am hopeful of experiencing a very high level of success. I do know through all of this, I will continue to laugh as often as I can!

Laughter is the music of the soul.

The Wind Beneath My Wings

The title above reflects the important part of life my sweet mother played. She was my cheerleader, my courage, my positive attitude and much more. According to her "you can do anything you want to do in life"!
She and I battled weight all of my life. At age 10, the meanest 'ol doctor I ever hoped to meet (j/k) was convinced I would fall over face down within the year. And, so the first true battle began. We were given a very rigid diet plan to follow and trust me, a mother's love hath no boundaries or sympathy in those situations!! I must say though how great it was to have someone in life who was willing to 'run' the mile with you and keep you on your feet. By the time I hit seventh grade, I was a lean, keen walking machine! I had a neck! Trust me, that was exciting. I still have a picture of me from that grade year and I adore my NECK! Yes, I hope to see it again in the coming months!
I played volleyball for four years at LaVega HS. For whatever reason, mainly inheriting my dad's multiple skills and coordination, I could hit a softball further than anyone and spike a volleyball with precision skill while 'taking someone out' on the other side of the net. No, I was not hostile, I did all those things with a sweet smile on my face. That seemed to add a depth of insult to the injury dealt out to a person. Did my parents get 'a round tuit' during those high school years. Most certainly. Mother never missed a volleyball game and both of them saw every Friday night football game just to watch me march and play the clarinet at halftime!
There were times of doubt for me in high school. I certainly wasn't the 'number 10 hot chick' of the building. I was the country girl with all heart and soul willing to bolster others, comfort when necessary and smile lots, hoping it would be contagious to those in need. When I would have a thought of not dressing right, looking right, my best friend...mother...would smile and say, "remember you're the one who is dressed the right way. Just know that everyone else is not." It worked. I'd go off with a level of confidence and succeed in a experiencing a great time!
I stayed somewhat thin until the middle of my Senior year in high school. I had fallen in love and he had fallen out of love. By the time I hit the Baylor University campus, my heart was seared and crusted over from the hurt.
Food became my allie, comfort and joy. If it didn't move, I ate it!! If it moved, I 'kilt' it first, then ate it. The pounds began to pack on and I never looked back. I got my BU diploma, got a first teaching position and got wind really quick that my weight was totally unacceptable! Thus began the second rigid phase of FIGHT THEEEEE FAT!!! Finally in 1973 while teaching at Connally Jr.High School in the Waco area, I joined Weight Watchers and the weight came off. I felt sexy, svelt, energized and loaded with attitude. Did it last? Nah. By the early 1980's I was back up on the scales and eating everything my heart desired.
My simplicity was bolstered with thinking I'll get around tuit soon. Well, somewhat soon. No, really soon. That didn't happen until 1988.
I got the fever, got a round tuit and went back to WW with a best friend from the middle school where I taught. Her name was also Pat...and we were best friends of the worst kind. We could look at someone, size 'em up and throw a glance at each other, already knowing what our decision was on 'him or her'...then, we'd burst into laughter. She and I went to San Marcos with friends from school to canoe down the mighty Guadalupe River.
Now that was an experience. We spent the enter day paddling to catch up with all the skinny paddlers who would lined up under the over hanging shady tree limbs, smoking a ciggy while waiting for us to catch up. We' d see them down the way and say "yeah, there they are, we get to rest a minute!!!" Not so, they'd see us coming and shout, "hurry up, let's go" and they'd be off instantly. We'd paddle harder and struggle more as we gasped for air and prayed for a helicopter to come and LIFT US OUT!!! At one point, we hit white water. The front of the canoe stuck on a rock and tilted juuuuuuuuust enough to dump me out! Very big mistake. It took forever to get me back in and then we died laughing.
That river trip was one of the main reasons we went to WW. Someone took a picture of the two of us in that canoe and brought it to us! Oops. Not nice to look at.
I spent that year focused, on program and dead set on losing fat. It worked. Within 11 months I had dropped 117 pounds. From the waist down (I had been a size 22) suddenly I was trying on size 6 and 8 elastic waist pants. I was in complete and total shock. The point is...I've done this before and I can do this again.
In my humble opinion, it doesn't matter how old we are, what life experiences we have...if we are still willing to learn we can truly enrich our lives. Obstacles in the past spurred me to building blocks in the future. I thank myself for always moving forward. It's like me driving a car...

I have it down! "D" is for DRIVE and "R" is for RACE!!! Let's go!

I Wasn't Always a Big Girl!!

According to my cute baby pictures, I was at one time under a 100 pounds. I grew up a country girl chasing the wind and dreaming of owning a horse! At age 6, the horse arrived. He was crippled with arthritis (knees so stiff), red as a blazing fire and as gentle as a breeze. He became "Blaze" and I learned to ride very well for my daddy promised me a saddle when I knew how to ride...BAREBACK FOR TWO YEARS!! But, alas, the day came and we went to Montgomery Wards in downtown Waco. Down in the basement they carried saddles and stuff.
Early on, I had a life changing experience with Blaze. We were trailing the hay truck on the gravel road. He broke into a canter and somehow, as he was bouncing up, I was bouncing down and totally missed him! That's right...earth to ME!! Daddy stopped the hay truck and came to my rescue. As the tears streamed down my cheeks I declared I wasn't going to get back on. My pride was injured, along with a few other personal parts of my body!
Daddy looked me in the eyes and said, "get back on and follow me on around or lead Blaze back to the house and we'll sell him tomorrow." I thought about that for one second and asked him to give me a hand up. From that day forward I seemed to be in tune with that animal.
Funny how we learn valuable lessons throughout our lives. Sometimes, it's very challenging and not so easy. Needless to say, I became a 'kinda good' rider and could race the wind without flinching at all. As long as I had a horse and the hours in a day to ride and enjoy the freedom of the outdoors I was a very happy camper.
We had cousins galore and during the summer, many of them would come and visit. One, in particular, was Robert from Houston. I was always threatened within an inch of my life so I would listen to my folks and stay away from the water, not have a rodeo in the calf pen and not get on any raft that Robert put together. Well, I didn't get on the rafts...I sat in the tall, green grass and watched him float to the middle and yell for a longer limb to reach the bottom.
Country life to me was the greatest thing in the world. Back then, you could explore and go miles away from home and be safe. A couple of girl friends would ride out during the summer and stay over for a slumber party. We'd pasture the horses and wait till midnight. Then, in our babydoll jammies, we'd go bridle the horses at midnight and ride down the gravel road for two or three hours. That was livin' the good life as a baby boomer.
From all of those 'good times' and the parents instilling strong character...I guess that's one reason I can smile as I deal with my current situation. Strong enough to face it, trusting enough to experience it and willing to make it happen. However, the insurance company has a completely different view of this new escapade I'm into. They have many barriers/hurdles that must be dealt with in a timely fashion. It's obvious they desire to delay this procedure at least six months with a stipulation of being on a weight loss program witnessed by the doctor for six months prior to surgery.
After many phone calls, paperwork, questions, more phone calls, more paperwork, faxes to various individuals and more..I feel like I have a new full time job. This too shall pass, she said to herself.
With all of that said, it's nice sometimes just to sit and think about how neat it was being a kid in the country. The big challenge back then was to ride with a saddle or ride bareback on any given day. Where did the simplicity of life go?
Oh well, I'll get a round tuit next week and jump back into the mix of do this, do that. Not sure where it will end up in the next few weeks, but, I'm going to climb back on, bareback, and ride again.
When I need something to think about, I'll go fill the car up at almost $4 a gallon and think about that. Ain't life fun? It is kinda like a box of chocolates...and those hard nuts can hurt your teeth when ya least expect it!!
"Always laugh when you can. It is the cheapest medicine."

A Bird in the Hand Tastes Better Fried

It's true! Fried chicken, fried steak, fried pickles...yummmm. Just to say I am a woman of the world and have done it all!! If you believe that one, I have some swamp land to sell you! It's strange though that life revolves around food. If you go out with family/friends, you eat. If you travel, you EAT. If you watch a movie, you eat. If you are sad, you eat. If you are happy, you eat. EAT...three small letters that rule lives. E.ach A.ction T.ells...a story! The story is read all over the human body. Twinkies? They look great on thighs, why not just stick them on there? A baked potato with everything, whoa, it kind of smears up and down the entire backside, huh?

I guess my concern and thoughts have been changing rapidly in the past year. I suddenly gained 32 pounds I had lost in '04. It didn't feel good, walking takes longer and running? That's a joke. The robber can just knock me in the head and grab my wallet! But, the real eye openers began to happen when we started checking out the food lists on the net. When I saw that Meatballs and Spaghetti at the Olive Garden were over 2500 calories, I went into overdrive shock! And, several months ago, we were out having fun, dropped into Chili's for food and ended up sharing the deadly Mudslide Brownie or whatever it's called. That delicious mound of molten chocolate and creamy, smooth Blue Bell Vanilla ice cream costs about 3,000 calories ALONE!!!!!
As the lists were unfurled each week, new places, different dishes, etc. put in print really brought me home to face the 'dangerous waltz' I've been doing for the past year. Having given myself permission to enjoy, I did and with a smile!!
I'm still smiling, but the Waltz will become a line dance that I can do alone. After the first meeting yesterday, I realized I now have a full-time job for the remainder of life. ME. Many forms, questionnaires, doctor visits, hoops to jump through, and more. But, I am worth it all. This blogging is my way of sharing with ME mostly. It does me good to see it in print.
Will anyone ever read this stuff? Not sure. Doesn't matter. I think it, I read it, I post it. It's my history now until ... life changing behavior modification along with exercise happens! Why didn't I do all those things years ago and stick with 'em? Dunno. I JUST DIDN'T GET AROUND TUIT!! Doesn't matter now. The present has arrived, the past is history. The Texas Two Step is warming up in the wings. Once I cross the line into the Surgery Suite, it becomes slow, slow, quick, quick, slow!! Still exciting, still nerve racking and still anxious with many thoughts.
I leave you with this thought -- a wise man once said,
"Be careful of reading health books, you may die of a misprint."
-Mark Twain

Posted by Patntxs at 12:45 PM 0 comments Links to this post

How Did This Happen?

It began years ago with an apple, a fig, a man and a woman. Yep He created man, took that prime rib from him and created woman...the beginning. So, food was on the scene in chapter 1. From there, well, you know the rest. Prime rib, bar-b-que ribs, Apple Cobbler, Fig Preserves, need I say more? And, of course, we have always had the freedom of choice. ME? I have chosen the sweet, the fat and the ugly! Devil's Food Chocolate cookies (see, the Devil's in this mix), juicy Ribeye steak marbled with delicious FAT and Lay's potato chips. Dang, I never could eat just one (package)!!!

So, ce la vie and 'status quo'...the mess I'm in and about to dig out of with six golden shovels that will dive into the tummy and plant the 'charge'. Lap Band and laproscopic...hand in hand, so they told me yesterday.
The folks in the meeting yesterday were interesting. From XL to Super XXXL. Funny how many diverse shapes a human body can take. Many were nervous as seen via their questions. Simple things like 'has anyone died in this surgery?' 'How many times have you done this surgery?' 'What happens if something gets stuck in the opening?' That's cute! THE OPENING? But, true. The opening becomes about as big around as the top of your little finger. It's okay...meals become three a day no larger than 4 to 6 ounces depending on how quickly the 'full' sign lights up in the brain. And, the intake of fluid must be a half hour before or an hour after a meal. Not enough room in the inn for many visitors.
Truth is for me...I'm ready. This is like a new 'birth day' and a second beginning. I've fooled a lot of folks hangin' around this long. Perhaps it will be an extended stay now. We shall see. I'm livin' and lovin' life now, not sure how much that can improve, but maybe lots and look out...just what I NEED -- M O R E E N E R G Y!!!! lololol
Wishes for a great day for everyone!!

Texas Two Step Bariatric Style

Today was the beginning of a new adventure. I attended the first meeting for Bariatric Surgery Information. Yes, three weeks ago, the big ball dropped from the sky onto my round head. I visited a marvelous, new Family Practice doc back then. We visited, he questioned, I answered (sometimes slowly and with stealth whisper) for he was far too sharp and inquisitive regarding my honest answers on my History sheet!!! He's into Preventative Med....I've been into 'dodge the doc' for a long time! So, we danced, he led, I couldn't lie....and the winner isssssssss....ME.

After all the information was presented, he twirled on his round, swivel stool to announce, I'm referring you to our Bariatric Surgeon for Lap Band procedure!! WHAT? ME? Are you sure about this? Caught, hands down, eyes open and ears in shocking alarm. The thing that most big gurls dream about...THE PROCEDURE to help solve the issue.
And, so, the dance began today with my first informational meeting at the Baylor College of Medicine. I'm not sure where the journey leads, but I'm willing to share my thoughts and insights for the coming months. If nothing else, it lets me journal, bleed thoughts into print and process the future events. And, it seems there will be many of those that will run a course of a long time.
Lap Band. Sorta sounds like a new kid group who sings or dances. No? Well, perhaps it's not...it that little band that lassos the top of the tummy and over the coming weeks, they tighten it and close the opening a little at a time. Hmmmm, says things that pass that way will be really tiny and very small amounts. Chew, chew, chew and one more time, chew. I can do this.
It's a beginning. One step at a time is as good as it gets. I will see what all comes and take one small baby step at a time!!
LET'S DO IT!!! We finally got a ROUND TUIT!!!