Change, Challenge, Choice

Seasons mean change. We deal with marvelous cool days, sweltering hot days and very few ice cold days in the great city of Houston, Texas. But, change is inevitable and we must go with the flow. In the long, blistering days of summer in Texas, I must be brave! Honestly, the heat can almost take your breath away.

Over the course of time, however, we find a happy place and make it through a better person, perhaps. This is a new season in my life. For those folks who've been following since July, 2008, you've had perspective and insight on some of my thoughts and challenges. However, here's the new change that has taken place since surgery.

My personality. That's right. My husband, Michael and I have had very lively discussions regarding the 'new me'. It's all good, but, according to him, "you are not the same person I married"! That's right, I've lost half a person...getting close to one, real new one. Attitude's affected with all of this as well. I've always been assertive and I guess...IT'S BAAAAaaaccckk!

So what has brought that discussion into focus? I've always been a mover and a shaker. But for the past three years, each day had incarcerated me as a 'prisoner of my recliner'. When you don't have adequate oxygen saturation, you're hesitant to take too many steps. And, when you do, you pause frequently to allow the lungs to CATCH UP!

Well, folks, that's a tremendous difference in me today. I do have oxygen supply. I do have energy. I do have a desire to run and gun! Much of this causes 'stress' in the living of each day. To sit in front of the television for a long period of time now is a challenge to me. And, so, in the past...if I had excess energy or needed to burn any 'anxious' moments -- I IRONED!! These days, I clean, I do laundry, I reorganize closets, I take 'junk' out of rooms and store it and the list goes on!!!

You read that one right as well. It was just a 'thang' I did. Back then, the ironing was connected to stressful moments over a parent struggling to live. Those were tough days and they had to be dealt with in order to stay on track!

A major change for me today is food. Appearance. Taste. Nutritional qualities. Amount. Does it sound good or not necessary. These things are hard for you to understand. However, food has become a means to live. My role's reversed and I no longer live to eat. It does, though, affect the one(s) you live with!!! And, at times, it's very aggravating to Michael.

Remember, I'm filling a 4 ounce pouch. Doesn't take much. Needs to be protein rich and little or no carbs! Aggravating? Perhaps. Essential? Absolutely.

And, so, I will work on my new attitude daily, but I will remain constant in my personal needs and desires at the dining table! I don't wish to waste time. Junk food is in days gone by. Hello new life. Hello new body. Hello new attitude (can't hep it). And, hello WORLD! Pat's here to stay!

One final note for today. I've come to the 'fork in the road' where I settle into slow weight loss. Hopefully, 5 pounds a month, according to Dr. Sherman. And, so, that's very acceptable. I had a whirlwind beginning. Surpassed all others 'coming out of the gate' and left them in my tracks! It's been a mind changing battle...but, it takes time and thanks to the great Baylor College of Med Team...I THANK I HAVE SUM TIME!!!

Third Fill Today...I'm Runnin' in High Again!

Image by oOElenaOo via Flickr

Greetings on a very hot June afternoon! My visit went well with Dr. Sherman today. I had LOST 2 pounds and he was pleased. Our discussion focused on now, perhaps, I'm to the point where possibly 5 or more will drop per week.

As I've stated prior to today...this is all a P R O C E S S!! Although I had pounds pour rapidly immediately after this dance began, it had to slow at some point! My spirits are lifted again and I'm prepared to boogie on down the path!

My compliments to all of my surgical 'team' at BCM! Those are some of the most wonderful people in the world. One thing I didn't realize when this began that I suddenly was wrapped in my own little world of tremendous doctors and specialists! What a change in this kids life!!

Dr. Sherman's 'right arm' came into the exam room after the stick and fill. It was necessary for me to change next month's appointment due to a weekend trip to Dallas. iteachTEXAS is having our annual Conference and, although I tried to skip, I was informed it was a necessary thing!! Monica is so terrific.

As she opened my FILE to check numbers/stats and such, we began a discussion. They always begin with "how are you doing"? My reply is always with a smile..."I'm great. I've had early success and tremendous health rewards"! Then, she said, "it's your three month, I need new pics before you leave"! OMG!

She showed me the two original pics of me the week before surgery. Holy cow!! I looked like death dressed in all black as I always wore in past days!! Unbelievable!! Yes, there's a new me and I can't wait for the next several months to walk by.

Today, I understand. I know where I'm at in this scenerio, I know that I'm into the right hand lane for slow traffice (and, that's okay) ... but most of all ... I know this is still the best thing I have ever done in my entire life!!!

May each of you have something remarkable happen in your life this week. Matters not if it's simple or complex ... it just matters that something happen! Wishes for a great weekend!

It's Fun Being 'Normal'

The big 'share' for tonight is the latest and greatest regular fitting! Until you've been there, you may not understand the joy in this thought.

I can sit down in the car seat, pull the belt across my lap, buckle it without flinching. Until the past few weeks...its was pull the belt, shift all the fat to the right or left out of the way of the seat belt catch and then struggle to find the hole!! What a pleasure to be an average bear these days in many different ways!

We bowled today, as with each Thursday. That is another fascination with me now. My high game today was 217!!!! Folks, I feel 'normal' when I bowl now. My approach is smooth, there's no 'side baggage' that gets in the way of my swing and it all JUST WORKS!!!

It's also a pleasure to be sitting anywhere...and be able to fold my foot under me or fold both feet in the chair to get comfortable. Crossing legs these days is very comfortable and it offers an entirely new style when out in public...church, etc. These are mundane things to all of those folks who've never struggled with obesity. For the obese person, these are the things of life that all long to perform in a normal capacity.

Anyhow, just an enlightenment for the week and --- I get my third fill tomorrow morning at 10:45!!! I am so hoping this will create the SWEET SPOT and shove me back into the moving on down mode!!

This plateau has been challenging, to say the least. The mental and emotional upheaval it has brought into life is unbelievable. Now, understand, I'm still well pleased with great health! I just have been frustrated doing it all 'right' and remaining still. I've tracked my calories, cut my intake to a limited number of times a day, chugged gallons and gallons of water and still, about the same.

Lap band is definitely LIFE CHANGING and a monumental LEARNING CURVE in life day in and out!! It has also affected my personality somewhat with newfound energy and ability to 'perform' many different tasks these days. I stay in a go, go, go mode and find it very difficult to 'stall' and SIT in the front of the tv now. Thus, many changes, multiple challenges and hills to climb!!

Cross your fingers and your toes for the FILL!! Here's to getting it put in "D" FOR DRIVE!!

Down to the Nitty Gritty

I attend a once a month meeting down at Baylor College of Med. It's on the first Thursday of each month, 11th floor conference room from 6-7 p.m. This last meeting was the most beneficial of all I've attended.
Lin Lin, our Nurtritionist, had enlisted a rep from Johnson and Johnson to come and tutor us in the computer program Realize My Success. It was great. I now know how to work every component of the program, thus, I'm planning my day of eating and tracking calories. I can also plug in whatever exercise I accomplish and it figures the amount of calories burned!
These days find me ultra active. The weather is gorgeous and my energy is high, so I'm on the go. Michael doesn't enjoy 'on the go' unless there's a purpose...so, I say later and hit the road most every day.
Yesterday I was in the mood to bowl again. We have a Wilson Road Bowl right near the house...off I went. I bowled alone for 45 minutes, worked up a sweat and enjoyed the activity. Scores were 148, crap, 169. It took me a while to figure their lanes out! Regardless, great movement.
The scale had dropped back to my old -46 mark. That was good. Hoping to see a slight drop again in the morning. I'm now holding tight to 1050-1200 calories per day. Since I have use of the program, it's easy...and, I've taken time to plug in my favorite things I use regularly so I have an accurate accounting for the day's intake.
Things I've learned:
lap band is exciting; lap band is not a magic key; lap band is a tremendous tool; the beat goes on and one must work hard to stay lean 'n mean on calorie count; eating tiny bites is the key; eating slowly and chewing forever a must; throwing up is not a fun experience; and....
the best thing I've learned is this -- my pouch is about the size of an egg. It takes very little food to FILL IT. Thus, really no hunger pains...and, I've learned to fill my time between meals with stuff rather than food.
Bottom line...there is NO QUICK FIX in the world and battle of weight. Determination, stick to itness and personal goals are what drive the beast! I have lost the 46 and I wish to lose 82 more.
Today, I began on the north side of Conroe at an Outlet Shopping Center. I ran into a Lane Bryant store and strolled in. Before I knew it, I had three new tops (big sale) and one of those is a Peasant Blouse. When I tried it on, I was smilin' like the Mississippi! 46 pounds ago, I would have looked like a beached whale in that top. Today, pretty dang good! BOUGHT IT!
From there, I surfed lots of places, coming back down to the Woodlands and making a couple of stops. I'm in the process of adding color to the kitchen and it's fun to browse and shop for eye catching things as we've all done forever.
Finally, around 4:15, I pulled back into the drive at home. One of the neatest things that happened today was at Home Goods. I heard a voice say, 'put that down lady' and I turned to see one of my old bestest buddies from Coordinator days. It was Sharon Sterchy, my counterpart from Aldine ISD. Wow! We were both so excited and the last she had seen of me was back in the Spring of 2002.
Yes, she was tickled too death at my appearance and she commented on how healthy I looked! We exchanged phone numbers and hugged again before parting to continue our stealth shopping!
There have been a few days that 'life 101' has infringed on my focus with my new challenge here. However, I've finally targeted some major things and have started carving my map and staying focused on my mission. Have I had some down days? Certainly. Have I been confused from other's adivce at times! Of course! Doesn't matter. I've finally come to know that this is my band, my mission and my decisions.
Success lies down the road, around the bend at the top of the hill where that big 'ol country house sat! During my teen years living on that farm, I was a skinny minny!! My map is leading me there again.
Stay tuned...and come along with me. We'll 'follow the yellow brick road, ah hah'!
Have a great Sunday and do something special for yourself!
Oh, one other thing. I finally bought a new 'over the shoulder bolder holder'!!! Yep, new bra! Now, tsk, you might say. Folks, it's 4" smaller than the old one and do THE GIRLS EVER STAND SO PROUD! lololololol I know, a little humor, but...come on!!! That's the breast, I mean best I can do at this hour!

Friday...and, so?

Nothing big going on. I've been on a plateua for a few weeks. Bored with that and aggravated. Made some changes three days ago and saw the first results this morning. Because of the band, I was taking in 5-6 small meals a day.
No, I have not ever gone back to nasty habits like fast food junk or bad things. But, I think all of us must be mindful of every morsel we slip between the lips for pleasure. I've taken me to three meals a day (basically, 4 oz. each maybe a little more on a good day) and one snack. I like to save that for night and television. Old habits die hard.
The game now is between mind and body. Gray matter has a way of eating away at you saying, it's time for a crunchy snack or something. So, the battle rages and I have finally put that under control with mind over matter.
There is no way I would ever back track with weight gain! My health is the prize and the energy I have again is tremendous. Now, if I had wealth, I'd be on the road most of the time seein' the sights! lolol
Things come and go each day. Trial and tribulation. Sometimes, those occur more often than we care to think about. Had a few of those in the past days. Guess I'm the better for any of it...I've become a person who 'grows' from each new thing that crosses my path.
Not too many complaints after a clean bill of health from my PCP last week and a clean bill of health on the eyes, one more time. I still use readers for the print and get aggravated at putting on taking off, but, ce la vie or "status quo"! After picking out a cool pair of glasses for a very slight script (if I wanna), the total came to $1016.00. Didn't take me long to look at 'that horse shoe"...old family joke!
Think about it -- a red hot horse shoe -- pick it up and SLAM IT DOWN!!! Ouch and ouch again!
This morning's nice surprise was ...
the 2-4 pounds I've been seesawing with for weeks....up, then down, then a little up, a little down....and, for the past several days...stuck at UP! Talk about frustrating.
This morning's delight...those 4 pounds were G O N E!
"The rain in Spain, stays mainly on the plainnnnn" -- I THINK I'VE GOT IT!!
Have a nice Friday and a nicer weekend!

Memorial Day

Well, it's been a day in the 'life of'. Nothing exciting, just the same stuff. Still stuck...and, just as a catch up for the readers...yesterday was VOTING DAY!

Yep, everything that went down, came BACK UP FOR VOTE! Uggghhh....oh well, nuff said. Don't have to fret over calories this way! Today, two things have stayed down. Perhaps I'll get to enjoy the evening meal as well. If not, fruite smoothies are wonderful, icey and a treat!

It doesn't matter. After the first few weeks and episodes of coming 'backatcha' a few times, food seems to lose all importance. I watch the food channel now and look at things thinking, nope, it'd just come back...too stubborn...the band, that is.

Anyhow, hope all had a nice day. Catch ya on the flip flop!