My Little Heartbeat

Several who read this blog know this little happy guy!

Percy, my little white 'angel boy' came to me in April, 2000. He has been my 'heartbeat', my buddy, my best friend and the greatest therapy anyone could wish for. After living with me for her final 27 years, my sweet mother passed in March, 2000.

Approximately one month later, I bought this little guy, weighing two pounds and able to fit in the palm of my hand. Now he hasn't just been a pet. This bundle of joy took me through some dark days filled with more grief than one should face.

For that reason, Percy and I have been connected to each other's heart like no other dog I've ever owned! Folks, that's saying a lot! Life's twists are so strange. Five years ago I dealt with heart issues and congestive heart failure. Not today...it's behind me and I have my health back. Two years ago, that little guy developed issues with congestive heart failure.

He's been on heart med and diuretics for many, many months. I had begun to notice a change in his gait, his activity and his breathing. And, about six months ago, he started sitting like a LITTLE BEAR BOY almost 24/7. Yes, we're tight!

We saw Dr. Key yesterday morning, our 'ol friend and vet for many years. According to him, Percy's health is failing and all of these 'things' he does now is to help him breathe easier. I stood there with tears running down my cheeks as Dr. Key talked about his heart and all. Finally, I asked, 'in medical terms on a scale of 1-10, where is he right now'? Mike dropped his head and slowly looked up at me as he said, 'he's a three, it's not good'.

According to Mike, I must decide if I'm now doing this for ME or for PERCY. His little dog life has not been quality for a long time now and it's declining rapidly. Many thoughts raced through my mind as I drove home. Most of all, I don't want my 'heartbeat' to suffer. A big decision lies ahead. And, yes, he's just a pet, but my pets have all been far more than 'just a pet'. And, remember, this little guy brought me back into life after a great loss in life.

As I ponder this situation, somehow I query, 'how is that Percy developed the same issues I was dealing with? How is it that suddenly, my life has been restored to new levels and his life is now in decline? Was that just random events or can there be more to this puzzle'? I'm not sure to be honest. All I know is that a faithful pet will go any extra mile for the owner he's devoted to.

No, there will be no quick action taken here. It's a game now of keep him comfortable, watch him daily to see what else changes and go from there. You see, his balance is not what it used to be either. If he stumbles and falls on his side, he fights and claws the air frantically to 'right' himself to no avail. Percy is my heartbeat and somehow, I think he literally took over my issues to give me a second chance.

Probably sounds 'way out there' to some who read this column, but matters not. As I've struggled yesterday and today over his doctor's report, I visited my PCP for the first time since December, 08. HE WAS BLOWN AWAY! It's enchanting to see a doctor's face light up and the biggest 'ol smile break across his lips!

All of my blood work was tremendous. Everything is in the right place number wise and I've been officially removed from diabetic status, diabetic meds and blood pressure meds! Dr. Rogers and I celebrated with big HIGH FIVE when he pronounced me normal.

That's what this is all about! Life changing. Life giving. My heart sags heavily though over my little Percyman. Life long attachment to a pet is a tough row to hoe when the weather gets stormy. I celebrate, I anguish. I laugh, I cry. I look forwad to the coming months, I dread the coming weeks.

And who knows...he may outlive us all. His name came from a special place. Two days before our mother passed, she raised her head and starred intently at the foot of her bed. She did this two times in a row as I sat beside her sterile bed in the hospital room. We were in the hospital for eight of the longest weeks of my life. I was studying her profile knowing her days were numbered.

After her intense stare, I stood and said, 'mother, who were you looking at'? She muttered, lack of air, 'percy'...I said, 'WHO'? You see, there was no Percy in our family and no Percy in our lives! If you're on the same page, you've already arrived. I think Percy was an Angel who had come to ready her for the coming hours. Those were about the last words she uttered prior to that late Thursday afternoon.

And, so, Percy, my little white angel boy, had a purpose in his beautiful life. He has served it well and far beyond the call. I shall see him through until whenever and speak sweet dog things to him. After all, he understands many, many words and thoughts!

Until the time is upon us, he will feel the gentle touch of my hands, hear familiar words in voice and get premium hugs throughout the days. What a pleasure he has been...and what a job he has done! And, it has all been due to unconditional love for his master...we have literally traveled many, many miles together. His shining moment was as we fled the hurricane two years ago.

He lay in the passenger seat on his soft bed pillow...he understood something was wrong...but he took his lead from my smile each time he lifted his heavy eyelids to check me out. It took us 16 hours to travel 67 miles to Huntsville. He asked to potty once after we had been inching our way along...nine hours after we left our home!! A smart fella!

One step at a time. One day at a time. Whatever comes around the next bend in the road, we'll deal with it and move forward. I hope your health is good, your heart is happy and your will to survive, endless.

You Should've Seen It in Color

Paint horses...my first love as a little Annie Oakley! If you're not familiar with paint horses, they come in various colors. The foal to the left is called a "Toby" or TOBIANO.

This is due to the fact that his dark color breaks and does not run from head to tail down the top of his back. The stallion on the right is called OVERO. My most favorite and very 'flashy' hunk 'o horse flesh!

On the farm, I had my first intro to a horse just as I turned 6. He was crippled with arhtritis, blazing sorrel color from stem to stern and as gentle as a southern breeze. The family who owned him for years had allowed seven children to abuse him. They ran him on pavement over the course of a very long time.

Now Blaze, to me, was heaven sent. He was a horse. He was mine. I didn't care. Learning to ride him prepared me for future experiences with horses. As soon as bus #25 pulled up at the foot of the long, gravel drive, I hit the ground running! A change of clothes, a change of mind and out the back door. Once haltered and bridled, off we went. 300 acres and me and Blaze! Extremely wonderful!

Lives change, people move and the focus shifts shapes many times over. In 1984, I was so fortunate to have an opportunity to train and show paint horses!! It couldn't have been any better...my love, my passion and my chance to prove I could train a 'push button' horse for the ring. And, I did. However, during the third year I threw my hat in the ring!

I started with a filly and a mare in foal. Three years later, I was in charge of two stallion babies, a young mare and Mama Luck! Too many horses for one chic to wrangle. So, that piece of life passed on by.

However, when Mama Luck foaled that first little stallion, Norfleet's Cody, WHAM!!! He popped into the world looking as those someone had taken a bucket of red paint and splashed all over him! That baby was the cutest, liveliest creature I'd seen. On the farm, babies of all kinds, shapes and sizes. But, never a baby horse!

During the afternoon when I visited the barn, I'd take Mama Luck and Cody and turn them loose in the round pen (a pen used for training direction, gaits, etc.) That mare loved her foal to inth degree and put up with more sass from him than you could imagine.

I watched in awe many times as she lay down in the middle of the pen to allow her baby the freedom of play, knowing right where his mama was. He'd romp and play, run and kick his back leg as high in the air as he could and finally, move in on her. He run full blast, skid to a screeching halt and flare his cute nostrils. Suddenly, the air was filled with the whinney of baby stallion! Look out world!!

After carefully 'scenting' her for a few seconds, he'd rear, landing his two front hooves atop her broad belly. During that moment, that baby was KING OF HIS WORLD!! Slowly, he'd let his hooves slide over the edge of her tummy as his belly slid over the top of her. Then he gallop away to find something new and mysterious!

To see the devotion, affection and unconditional love shared between animals has a powerful effect on me. They teach us so much each time we allow ourselves to stand and appreciate their world. You see, The Horse Whisperer truly understands the majestic way of a horse. It's not about 'breaking their spirit' or causing them to succomb to a heavy hand. Training those animals has an art to it and as you care for them, they teach tremendous life lessons.

Cody was the "king of his world" any day he chose to be. And, his devoted mother allowed him the freedom to explore, learn and be a baby horse! Any new, strange noises, horses or voices caused doubt in his little mind. In order to make friends with him, I would kneel on both knees and talk in a sing-song rythm, cooing him and making friends with him. Trust was the key.

The way a horse's eye is made, for a little fellow looking at a big 'ol grown up, he has no chance in the world! A person is mangified through his lense and that lends to fear and escape mode. However, kneeling, you become as small as he is...charming...causing his inquisitive spirit to control.

I worked hard with the horses and loved every minute of it. When they were hauled away in the big trailer, it was somewhat sad to me. But, life moved forward and I had one more 'chapter' in a rock 'n roll life!

Haven't had horses since the mid 80's, probably won't again. But, in life, we replace things as easily as we let go of others. Bowling with Michael has been a priority in the past two years. Nope, I'm no expert...more like just a 'spurt'!! But, I have fun and socialize (imagine that) with all the old folks. We bowl on Tuesday's with the 'Ol Timers and trust me, I'm a baby!

But they've all been so supportive, cheering me on each week with my new found life and goal. Today was our end of year bar b que. Yes, I ate a little and was full instantly. They give out awards, patches, trophies, etc. And, then, the Secretary of the League said, 'last year, we had 'sweetheart' from our group. I decided we needed to that again today. If Pat Beard would come up here..." I was shocked.

I was also pleased. That is a group of about 100 folks who have become dear friends. They appreciate my smile, my 'hi, how are ya today', my empathy in heartbreaking news of loss, etc. I've just been me and it's another time where someone has been 'taking notes'. Many hugs have been passed out and many fun stories shared with anyone (dontcha know) who'll listen.

They put a crown on my head and gave me a beautiful plant. And, after Vanita hugged me and shared my success thus far with banding, I paused, threw my arms out to my sides and began to sing and dance... A PRETTY GIRLLLLLLLLLL, IS LIKE A MELODYYYYYYYYY....and as they chuckled and applauded, I returned to my safe harbor at the table with Michael.

Yep, THE SWEETHEART! Go figure! Be careful in your daily lives. Everyone is watching, someone is making note and another is modeling after you! I hope you are a positive influence in someone's special life!

A Gentle Nudge Today

I spent most of the day over in Clear Lake. Aunt Lois, age 98, is experiencing some of her most challenging days and nights. It had been a while since I was there, simply due to neglect on my part....busy life, you know? NOT! Just hadn't put her in the priority list.

Upon arrival, she was being tended to by Hospice folks. When I finally got up to her bed I leaned over and said, 'hello Aunt Lois, it's Pat. I came down from Humble today to cheer you up'! Not really able to focus these days, she listened intently. Several minutes later she said, 'I want her here'. Nancy, her daughter, turned and said, 'mother wants you back up there by her, she recognized you'!

That pleased me. Come to find out, I was the first one she had recognized in many weeks, other than Nancy! She was always special to me and now, I feel sure, I was special to her as well. I began sharing memories, just talking as she lay quietly on her pillow, her frail body limp, propped by pillows as the gentle sound of the oxygen concentrator hummed with the constant, slow....shhhhh/pop.......shhhhh/pop.

As she lay beneath the thin sheet and blanket, listlessly, her head turned slightly towards the sound of my voice...I just began to talk, knowing that she could hear and possibly comprehend some words. I spoke of an old photo I have of her, age 64 at the time taken, in her black body suit and leggings. There was a period of time where she had to visit Figure World daily to keep her joints functioning properly. At 64, she was lookin' dang good in them leotards!!

Describing the picture and speaking of our old home in Waco, Texas, I ended the story and let loose a gentle, but "Pat" kind of laugh. Within a few seconds after she heard that, her mouth flew open and she began to laugh out loud!!! Nancy was in awe. She turned and smiled as she heard her mother's laughter and said to me, 'that's why I was so glad to see you come in the room today, you are the only person who can make mother laugh'!

Aunt Lois then slipped into a very restful slumber, free of any visible signs of pain, gently lifting her chest with each soft breath. Nancy's son, Doug, had arrived and the three of us went to lunch. They chose Mexican...it's been months since I entered a Mexican restaurant, but I was delighted. Following their orders, I chose one chicken fajita enchilada. Most of my lunch was talking, when all was said and done, 3/4 of my enchilada was gone. I was full!

Doug had owned a men's store on the strand prior to IKE. IKE rolled in, leaving 10' high water marks on the walls of his beautiful men's store. They had rescued items, cleaned/laundered them and had a rummage sale around the 1st of October. The end of his business. Since that time, he's been searching for a new career.

Little did he know that he can pursue a teaching career through various entities offering Alternative Certification. We had a lengthy discussion about those possibilities, I put him in touch with iteach and somehow, I had brought 'light' into several lives this day. As I drove back to Humble my thoughts reflected on all of the day's events.

For family to hug, kiss on the cheek and say thank you for making our lives better today...what else can you hope for? My new found health, energy and outlook on life has once again primed me for 'good' things in life. Life is far more than issues and monetary considerations. All I did today was share love, offer a smile and let the sound of unadulterated laughter roll through the air.

I offered insight, perhaps gave direction to a young man's life and came home feeling almost euphoric. Am I still saddened by the picture in my mind...a very special, yet frail Aunt lying in her bed clinging to life not yet ready to depart...yes, I am. However, regardless of what tomorrow brings, I discovered the value of family, past memories and experiences and the ability to brighten spirits!

There was no way I could know last July, 2008 that my PCP was giving the gift of life back to me on that hot, July afternoon. His decision for my bariatric surgery changed the course of my life and altered as well as renewed my abilities to touch others lives. This night I am enriched and thankful for family ties.

It had been a long time since I had shared time with family like that. Matters not. Their parting words were, 'we're family, we're here for you any time you need us...we love you'. What a nice ending to a special visit.

Love your family, stay in touch. As for friends from long ago or the ones you met yesterday, slow down and do one special thing for them ever so. You never know what your kindness, a shared word or thought or a very minor act of random kindness might strike in their heart. We all struggle with issues, the recession has set many 'back on their heels' and some days just aren't diamonds!

Regardless, look for a rainbow in every day.
Learn to DANCE IN THE RAIN!

And always remember --

LAUGHTER IS THE MUSIC OF THE SOUL!!!!!!!! Celebrate life with each new dawn!

Second Fill Today

And, so, today went much better than the first 'fill' day went! It was fast, 'to the point'...get it...needle in the tummy -- and over in a few minutes. When she handed me the cup of water, it went down with ease today. Go figure.

I was up .2 of a pound today. The doctor said it's time to walk, move and be active for at least 30 minutes three days a week. Thus, I purchased a Cruisin' Bike at Wallyworld this afternoon. Got it home, cut off the tags and raised the seat where I wanted it. After changing clothes, I was set to rock and roll.

The 'fanny' pack worked well around the handle bars. I put a couple bottles of water in, my cell phone with the alarm set for one hour and my keys...to garage upon return. I rode like a crazy person. Bottom line, I was impressed with me. The wind was strong, some of the streets are uphill, next time I'll come from the other direction and coast!! hahahah...but all, in all, I rode for thirty five minutes non-stop. First time on a bike in about 8 years!

I quickly learned not to turn and watch people too much. When I do that, I veer to the right and I almost went postal in someone's mail box! Oops! Missed it though, in the nick of time!

It's been a busy week. I had my six month eye exam at Dr. Mann's. They discovered a thingy behind the right eye's implant. So, they set me up for a YAG treatment yesterday. Dr. Mann zapped the capsule with laser and blasted a hole in the film so light can get through. It was weird, when you hear popping in the back of your brain each time he fired the laser, kind of strange.

But, all is well tonight. Both eyes again 20/20 for distance. Love it!

Found out that a dear 'ol high school friend has been diagnosed with breast cancer. That has put a damper on my heart. I hate for anyone to deal with cancer, but for my old horse back ridin' buddy to face it now, sorta took the wind out of my sails for the day. I hope all who read this blog with hold her close in thought and prayer.

Otherwise, I have to get moving and get my weight loss working again. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a happy heart with my progress. My beginning went very fast and I accomplished a lot. What I have to keep telling me is....'it can't all be done in a twelve week period'!!! Darn and darn, again. And, so, I'll keep ya 'posted' but won't 'blog ya down' with details in the coming days!!

I have taken several items to consignment. When pants almost slip off in public, ya know something's working!! lololol Now, that's a good sign!!

Take care, be well and do something good for yourself! Happy Trails to YOU!!! (who said that?)

A Fabulous Friday

It was a Fabulous Friday for ME!!! I got a kinda late start, but headed out to Deerbrook Mall on a quest! They've had that super sale going on and I've been looking at the comforter sets off and on for many days now.

As you can see by the latest pic from last Tuesday, I'm looking healthier by the day and ... feeling even better. I did purchase a comforter set today. But, I wasn't through shopping!

I carried that huge set, two sacks with other purchases and shopped all over the second floor! Now folks, back in December/08 and January/09 I was land locked in my recliner. Sure, I could've gone to the mall, but why? I was a huffin' and a puffin' and had no o2 to take me around. I am back to full steam!

Carried those items, shopped and walked half way down the parking lot to my car to unload and go back and do some more! I walked the mall from top to bottom and end to end...walking, browsing, humming and smiling!

I ducked into Luby's, thinking, I will have a salad of some sort. The line was half way down the side wall. Standing and looking toward the salad selections, I decided on one with broccoli, cabbage, carrots, raisins, etc. The closer I moved to the selection, the more my inner self said 'why are you spending calories on that'?

Turning and excusing myself (two away from the trays), I exited and went on about my business! When I truly felt some hunger hit, I pulled a Protein Bar out and munched. Craving satisfied and me, happy! And, so, change has taken place, for the better.

I can eat anything again. Literally. Michael fusses at me now because I'm very careful of calorie intake. Point being, I eat so little when I eat, if I do intake 1200 a day, it's a miracle! And, at one point this evening, what I ate wasn't happy...hope it's happier down the 'toity'!!!

This process has truly been life changing and life giving. My great problem now is all the energy I have again. I want to be doing something all the time! Tv has become boring and I read, but in snatches. So, I'm on the prowl finding things to do...I swear, must have the cleanest house in the country!

What's on tap tomorrow? Taking the comforter back. There's another one I really wanted more, so, I'm going back and play again!!! Gotta luv it!

With A Pencil and A Pad, I Figured It Out!!

Me thinks I've unlocked the golden door in the last three days. The food thing is crazy and the caloric intake interesting. However; I decided if I denied the body food when it 'begged' for it at different hours of the day, it would hang on to the fat it had in tow.

Thus, I've begun engaging in appropriate foods at various times of the day. If my tummy's empty at 10 a.m. I feed on a Protein bar. In the afternoon, a protein snack of left overs or a fruit smoothie with protein powder. Suddenly, it's like the body has decided to let go my ego again.

I'll see in the next couple of mornings what happens, but, I think it might be working again. I hope, I hope, I hope. Although I've been stuck at -46, I've lost several more inches. All is well, I'm still happy as a lark and ultimately, it will all go away.

In case you need a wonderful treat..and, you're not dieting....
1 cup of your fave ice cream
1 cup of milk
1/2 cup frozen fruit (i like strawberry/blackberry mix) they act as ice cubes
blend with a pulse and enjoy the results.

You can also use a tablespoon of peanut butter or a sugar free chocolate syrup or your imagination! I also like to mix with a banana and peanut butter. Yum, good stuff!

So, off I go to the nighty nites...having stated my case. Have a super Thursday, all day long.
Toodles.