A Curious Day in the Life of Pat

Wednesday, March 4...the day! I had to report to St. Luke's Towers and do all of the paperwork for the surgery. Fine. I had received notification with an 11:30 appointment time followed by this statement - get there early because this can take hours. Appointments by walk-ins. What? I was confused.

9:20 - I phoned my doctor's office to question. "Oh, no, you don't have an appointment so the earlier you can arrive the better your chances of being done in time for your appointment with Dr. Sherman!" Was she kidding me? Zoom...into the shower, wash the head, curl the curls, put on make-up and out the door by 10 a.m. Yep, right into the Houston traffic.

Finally, I walked in the office around 10:40...and finally, was out of there by 12:45 I was weighed, measured, questioned, blood pressured (128/65), questioned more, explained to and finally, done. I had a sweet nurse and she thanked me for being a good patient. I said well, it's not like I'm going to fuss at you. She said, 'are you kidding? I've been spit on, cursed out and more.' Unbelievable. I didn't like the fact that they had to TELL me my weight, but no reason to work up a juicy blob over that. I've only weighed 1000 times at home.

AFter all, once you've had ultrasounds, EKG's, x-rays, upper GI's and more, how do you have any shame left anyway? You've been seen inside, outside and perhaps upside down when you weren't paying attention. Those folks could draw pencil sketches and sell 'em at the fair!

I finally traversed the long walkway over to the Baylor College of Med place. Went to the 14th floor, nearer my Heaven to thee, and walked in the surgeon's outter office. I announced, "sorry I'm late, it took forever". The time was 12:50...the receptionist replied, not a problem, you're early, your appointment isn't until 1:30! OUCH AND OUCH AGAIN. There I had hustled over the walkway, sucking air in the entire way and thinking, I shoulda got up at 8 and been here early.

And, so, I sat down, looked around and there they were. Sitting as the bald eagles do, perched, watching for food! Not! Just sitting waiting to see the surgeon...a room full of fat chicks waiting to become thin! lolol The conversation began. It ran from what kind of surgery? Have you had it yet? When do you have it? Are you starving on liquids only? I can't wait til I can have mushed food. What whey products have you found? BINGO! The excitement of the day.

We began to comment on products, tastes and no so good tastes and soon, the entire waiting room was tuned in and rolling in laughter! It became the entertainment hour on the 14th floor. Hey, some of us had some storie to share and thennnnnn...we discussed the dreaded u p p e r G I !!! AAAAAgggggghhhhhhh. Too funny.

Finally, the doc returned and they swept me straight back knowing I needed to get BACK ACROSS THE WALKWAY to St. Luke's to see another doc. I hustled...got there...surveyed the room, smelled the fragrances in the air and wished I hadn't got there! Some were sleeping (sleep ap I guess), some were huffing and puffing and some were discussing the big chick to my left who had a cough bigger than her! Bless her heart and her lungs!

I waited. And waited. And waited. I walked up to the window and asked how much longer? Oh, about another 45 minutes to an hour. I said uh huh...not gonna happen. I'm tired. I'm empty. I wanna go home! So, we re-scheduled for Wednesday. Frustration and more frustration, but harketh...I was headed home to my L I Q U I D array of exquisit choices!! Yeah.

Once home I sampled everything! Soup, jello, protein shake, soup, jello, etc. lolol Finally, I felt full and could sit and breathe.

It's game on...Beard in the lead. Score 17 for me...them? I shall not be defeated. I will be the best I can be. I'm going for first down and yardage without looking over my shoulder! If I can't maintain straight up the middle, I'll take the 'end around!' Wait a minute. I've never had a 'round end' in my whole life! GOTCHA!!

Banding...a new adventure!