Probably. It's 11:04 p.m. and here I sit playing with words. My tummy is empty as empty can be. This was my third day of liquids only...and, so, you say? Well, I've dropped 8.5 pounds. I'm sure mostly fluid..but, it's gone.
How tough is this? Hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I figure if I goof around here long enough maybe I'll get so sleepy I can't help myself and be able to fall off to dreamland!
Between juices and Campbell's Healthy Request soups and sugar free puddings and jellos...ain't much goin' in here. I do have various Protein products I use...I am to get 70-90 grams of protein in during a single day. The problem there...aaaarrrggghhhh....the taste! I've found a couple of ok ones, but it's a challenge.
And, so, I do this until the morning of March 12th when I report to St. Luke's Hospital for the surgery. Then, I do it for another week!! I'll be so glad when I can have pureed foods!! I'll put the old record on..."Celebrate, Celebrate!!!"
Anyhow, now ya know what's going on here. Pain, a little frustration, lots of hunger and desire for food, but towing the mark. It's one of the greatest challenges I've faced. So be it. More power to me. I am doing this and doing it well!
Hey, in the morning, go out and have breakfast for me, k?
About Me
- txspatter
- Humble, Texas, United States
- Retired educator, retired freelance photographer, retired life. I loved the classroom, laughter of the students, small successes that made them glow and the feeling of 'family' among faculty. However, job done and on to new things. Life was on 'cruise control' until March, 2004...and then, there was a halting screech, lung and heart issues and physicians galore. But, I beat the odds and HERE I AM...STILL HUFFIN' AND PUFFIN'!!! Let's see where this leads.....
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Quiet Calm
Still, quiet calm. Silent, motionless and serene. That was Vail, Colorado back in the late 80's when I went with five other teachers. They were skiiers...I was a watcher/photographer. Oh, I put skis on for lessons! HA! I took them off as fast I put them on. My happiness was in the people watching, landscapes and snow.
The first night there in the gorgeous, huge condo, I was privy to my own bedroom in the back. It had many windows, frosted from the frigid outside air trying to deal with the warm, fluid condo air. Mountains all around us were blanketed with the brilliant, shiny snow when we arrived...for a country girl from lil 'ol Humble, Texas...it was absolutely breathtaking!
After struggling with luggage upon arrival, having a delicious meal that evening and sharing thoughts about the day, we all headed to bed. For a long time, I lay upon the soft, downy pillow, starring out the windows at the glistening snow as the moonlight danced all round.
Little did I know what was to come through the night! With daylight sifting through the bedroom windows and playing gently upon my face, I finally squirmed, realizing the time was at hand to open my eyes and welcome the first morning. And, what to my wondering eyes did appear? More snow than I had ever hoped to see. It was piled deep and high! A brilliant display of God's handy work...and, all for me!
Everyone dressed and gathered for breakfast. We talked about the 'fanny packs'...I talked about falling on mine and squishing whatever I chose to put inside. They talked about skiing the various trails. I talked about my fanny pack. They spoke of past experiences and how much fun they had experienced over the years. I talked about my fanny pack!! Obviously, I was not on the right page of the script for the particular scene about to play out!
Finally, the door was flung wide and we all stepped across the threshhold and onto the porch! Whoooooshhhhhhhhhh! Cold air, swirling around our nostrils causing us to say 'brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr'!! I loved it...a first time experience! One of the girls stepped off the bottom step to ground and the laughter rolled from our mouths! She stepped and in the blink of an eye, the snow was up to both knees!!! Wow. That was cool!
Everyone trugged through the deep, white splendor to the van and loaded up to go into Vail and to the M O U N T A I N!!! Oh, no. We landed in the ski shop so everyone could get a pair of skis. I was doing fine until he said, 'and, your weight?' My thought, 'none of your business darlin' and what does it matter?' Well, it mattered...something to do with the ski being able to support you as you slid, rolled or tumbled down the drifts! Oh, no. I lied anyway. Then I wondered at what point my skis would shatter beneath my lean, stealth self! lolol
I lasted about 20 minutes in the class. The instructor gave us pointers and then said, now we're going to the Bunny Slope. I asked, "what are you talking about, this is the Bunny Slope, isn't it." "Why, no" he gingerly replied with a big, fat smile on his gorgeous face with glimmering, perfect snow white teeth. "We're going to the top of the mountain and practice there." "Wait, you mean to the top...how many feet in the air is that?" He replied with a huge number. Suddenly, my lungs went into shock!
Quickly, I answered, "uh, I think I'm done. It's hard enough to suck air here, why would I go up the mountain a million feet higher where there is NO AIR?" He was relieved! Fat girl tosses in the towel...whew...he wouldn't have to pick her up!! lolol And, off I went. Ski boots throw your body in an awkward alignment. They are very difficult for a fat beginner to walk in anywhere. But, I staggered, dragged one leg at a time and almost crawled down to the dressing area to unleash those monsters from two precious, size 9 feet!!
Stumbling down to the dressing area was sort of okay...but...coming back up the slight hill to the shop to return those suckers...NOT OKAY! One step, suck in air. Another step, suck more air. All the way to the shop and...be cool. I didn't want anyone to know I was suffering from oxygen deprivation! How silly. BUT I WAS!!!!!!
I finally got those darn things back to the shop and carried my sweet self to the patio of a local cafe. I spent the afternoon people watching! I loved it. I was shocked and freaked out sometimes. The afternoon was warmer and people were coming out of all the jackets and sweaters.
Speaking of! My buds had said, layer your clothes...it's cold on the mountain. Dumb me. I did. By the time I got to that cafe I had sweaters, glove liners, my jacket and anything else I could take off, tied around me, swooped over my shoulders or wound around my head!! J/K! I was dying from heat exhaustion. Remember, fat girl learning to ski. I was already insulated!!
The week went well, even though I failed skiing 101. I got some fabulous photos from the area and returned home a happy camper. I was glad to get back to the lowlands, instant sauna in Houston and more. Would I do it again? Certainly. It was a new adventure. It was challenging. It was a learning curve. And, I survived it all!!
Somehow, that plays right into the next several days/weeks/months. All new. Somewhat anxious. Willing to try. But, I will be successful this time! It's not a mountain I face, it's a long, straight highway laid out in front of me. I'll dress accordingly, watch others along the path and wonder what took me so long to make the journey. This time, it's mostly downhill!!
The first night there in the gorgeous, huge condo, I was privy to my own bedroom in the back. It had many windows, frosted from the frigid outside air trying to deal with the warm, fluid condo air. Mountains all around us were blanketed with the brilliant, shiny snow when we arrived...for a country girl from lil 'ol Humble, Texas...it was absolutely breathtaking!
After struggling with luggage upon arrival, having a delicious meal that evening and sharing thoughts about the day, we all headed to bed. For a long time, I lay upon the soft, downy pillow, starring out the windows at the glistening snow as the moonlight danced all round.
Little did I know what was to come through the night! With daylight sifting through the bedroom windows and playing gently upon my face, I finally squirmed, realizing the time was at hand to open my eyes and welcome the first morning. And, what to my wondering eyes did appear? More snow than I had ever hoped to see. It was piled deep and high! A brilliant display of God's handy work...and, all for me!
Everyone dressed and gathered for breakfast. We talked about the 'fanny packs'...I talked about falling on mine and squishing whatever I chose to put inside. They talked about skiing the various trails. I talked about my fanny pack. They spoke of past experiences and how much fun they had experienced over the years. I talked about my fanny pack!! Obviously, I was not on the right page of the script for the particular scene about to play out!
Finally, the door was flung wide and we all stepped across the threshhold and onto the porch! Whoooooshhhhhhhhhh! Cold air, swirling around our nostrils causing us to say 'brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr'!! I loved it...a first time experience! One of the girls stepped off the bottom step to ground and the laughter rolled from our mouths! She stepped and in the blink of an eye, the snow was up to both knees!!! Wow. That was cool!
Everyone trugged through the deep, white splendor to the van and loaded up to go into Vail and to the M O U N T A I N!!! Oh, no. We landed in the ski shop so everyone could get a pair of skis. I was doing fine until he said, 'and, your weight?' My thought, 'none of your business darlin' and what does it matter?' Well, it mattered...something to do with the ski being able to support you as you slid, rolled or tumbled down the drifts! Oh, no. I lied anyway. Then I wondered at what point my skis would shatter beneath my lean, stealth self! lolol
I lasted about 20 minutes in the class. The instructor gave us pointers and then said, now we're going to the Bunny Slope. I asked, "what are you talking about, this is the Bunny Slope, isn't it." "Why, no" he gingerly replied with a big, fat smile on his gorgeous face with glimmering, perfect snow white teeth. "We're going to the top of the mountain and practice there." "Wait, you mean to the top...how many feet in the air is that?" He replied with a huge number. Suddenly, my lungs went into shock!
Quickly, I answered, "uh, I think I'm done. It's hard enough to suck air here, why would I go up the mountain a million feet higher where there is NO AIR?" He was relieved! Fat girl tosses in the towel...whew...he wouldn't have to pick her up!! lolol And, off I went. Ski boots throw your body in an awkward alignment. They are very difficult for a fat beginner to walk in anywhere. But, I staggered, dragged one leg at a time and almost crawled down to the dressing area to unleash those monsters from two precious, size 9 feet!!
Stumbling down to the dressing area was sort of okay...but...coming back up the slight hill to the shop to return those suckers...NOT OKAY! One step, suck in air. Another step, suck more air. All the way to the shop and...be cool. I didn't want anyone to know I was suffering from oxygen deprivation! How silly. BUT I WAS!!!!!!
I finally got those darn things back to the shop and carried my sweet self to the patio of a local cafe. I spent the afternoon people watching! I loved it. I was shocked and freaked out sometimes. The afternoon was warmer and people were coming out of all the jackets and sweaters.
Speaking of! My buds had said, layer your clothes...it's cold on the mountain. Dumb me. I did. By the time I got to that cafe I had sweaters, glove liners, my jacket and anything else I could take off, tied around me, swooped over my shoulders or wound around my head!! J/K! I was dying from heat exhaustion. Remember, fat girl learning to ski. I was already insulated!!
The week went well, even though I failed skiing 101. I got some fabulous photos from the area and returned home a happy camper. I was glad to get back to the lowlands, instant sauna in Houston and more. Would I do it again? Certainly. It was a new adventure. It was challenging. It was a learning curve. And, I survived it all!!
Somehow, that plays right into the next several days/weeks/months. All new. Somewhat anxious. Willing to try. But, I will be successful this time! It's not a mountain I face, it's a long, straight highway laid out in front of me. I'll dress accordingly, watch others along the path and wonder what took me so long to make the journey. This time, it's mostly downhill!!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Horses to The Gate!
Wednesday morning, day after yesterday! Ugh! I had pre-ops yesterday morning for a few hours and then a three hour educational session with nurse practitioner and nutritionist. There were five of us in the meeting.
When I departed from the Medical Center area, the traffic was jammed, snarled, bumper to bumper and worse. Mentally, I was fried. Physically, tired. Emotionally, just there. As I pulled across the overpass on McGregor and looked both ways at Hwy 288, I panicked. It looked like people fleeing a hurricane...north and south. Nope, I couldn't even put me in that mess. So, I drove on down to intersect Scott St. and finally, take me over to Loop 610.
My thoughts last night as I sat and pondered my arduous day...
"Today was eye opening. The path ahead is highly challenging and completely governed by the medical team. Funny, growing up, I was scared too death of doctors; now, I've had every major test and made all visits alone. Time and life have a way of altering our inner selves. Life lessons reach beyond the surface issues and deal with the complete make-up of the inner mind and body. Old fears grow dim or boring and new courage surfaces to enable us to step into each new chamber of our personal life puzzle. Complex? Yes. Somewhat frightening? Yes. However, the source lies deep within our body to conquer and continue moving forward!"
I was so tired last night I wasn't sure I could wait til 10ish to 'hit the sack'. But, I did. The test I hate the most is the Upper GI. That barrium is so NASTY..REPULSIVE..INHUMANE! Aaaarrrggghhh!!! I stood with both feet firmly planted on the bottom of the table...standing up. Then, after large amounts of 'throw up' potential liquid, here it went...head down, laid out, flat on my back. The first words from the technician, "now, Mrs. Beard, please turn in a complete circle front to back, left to right and end up on your back again!" WAS SHE KIDDING ME??? No, she was not.
That test ran for about 20 minutes..and, that was 20 minutes too long! The abdominal ultra sound ran FOREVER!!! Today, those doctors know every inch of me inside and out, literally!
The last thing she did was to turn the table with my head down, telling me to grip both sides of the slick table to avoid sliding off in the floor. If that wasn't bad enough, she then said, turn your head towards me after you roll semi on your right side. When I say start, drink and keep drinking til I say stop! OMG!!! I did. When she said STOP...I had just taken a mouthful...it all spewed onto the pillow and ran out onto the table!
After all, the entire test had started with a tiny bit of liquid in which, she poured some 'popping' crystals. I had to swallow that immediately and NOT BURP! The purpose of that mess? To create burping gas!! I hate that test!
The title above...?? I'd rather be a jockey on a fine tuned thoroughbred about to launch into the race of the year!! It'd be far easier and more conclusive in one fail swoop than what lies ahead.
After the three hour session, I came home with lots of literature, guidelines, recommended foods, liquids, proteins, fibers, etc. If I thought life was complicated before, it almost threw me for a loop yesterday. Michael said to me last night, "what's in the St. Luke's bag?" I turned and looked at him saying, "stuff, I'll talk about it tomorrow. I can't even touch it tonight." I was one whipped puppy.
I guess the worst news out of the entire day was...and, after your surgery, you will have another upper GI to make sure there are no knicked organs, bleeding, etc., etc., etc. She lost me after the words another GI. OMG!!!
And, so, I am IN THE CHUTE...the dance begins. Is it really the two-step as I began in the very beginning last July...or is it a waltz that will continue in the days ahead? I'm not sure. When I figure it out, I'll let you know.
Throughout this adventure, I still observe teacher interns. I've mentioned before that it's a learning experience for me each time. And, it's interesting that I can almost dictate the important things in many of their lives. Some of the sweetest, most caring folks are strong Christians in their daily walk. They will have reminders in their personal area and, of course, as I sit and listen, I sweep the area with my eyes.
Last week, a very strong verse was there for me...
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."
Proverbs 3:5
Well, that's what this chic is doing. I am moving one step at a time, one day at a time! Should the Racing Association call in the next few days and offer me a 'mount'...well, look for me on ESPN!!! Gotta luv it!!!
When I departed from the Medical Center area, the traffic was jammed, snarled, bumper to bumper and worse. Mentally, I was fried. Physically, tired. Emotionally, just there. As I pulled across the overpass on McGregor and looked both ways at Hwy 288, I panicked. It looked like people fleeing a hurricane...north and south. Nope, I couldn't even put me in that mess. So, I drove on down to intersect Scott St. and finally, take me over to Loop 610.
My thoughts last night as I sat and pondered my arduous day...
"Today was eye opening. The path ahead is highly challenging and completely governed by the medical team. Funny, growing up, I was scared too death of doctors; now, I've had every major test and made all visits alone. Time and life have a way of altering our inner selves. Life lessons reach beyond the surface issues and deal with the complete make-up of the inner mind and body. Old fears grow dim or boring and new courage surfaces to enable us to step into each new chamber of our personal life puzzle. Complex? Yes. Somewhat frightening? Yes. However, the source lies deep within our body to conquer and continue moving forward!"
I was so tired last night I wasn't sure I could wait til 10ish to 'hit the sack'. But, I did. The test I hate the most is the Upper GI. That barrium is so NASTY..REPULSIVE..INHUMANE! Aaaarrrggghhh!!! I stood with both feet firmly planted on the bottom of the table...standing up. Then, after large amounts of 'throw up' potential liquid, here it went...head down, laid out, flat on my back. The first words from the technician, "now, Mrs. Beard, please turn in a complete circle front to back, left to right and end up on your back again!" WAS SHE KIDDING ME??? No, she was not.
That test ran for about 20 minutes..and, that was 20 minutes too long! The abdominal ultra sound ran FOREVER!!! Today, those doctors know every inch of me inside and out, literally!
The last thing she did was to turn the table with my head down, telling me to grip both sides of the slick table to avoid sliding off in the floor. If that wasn't bad enough, she then said, turn your head towards me after you roll semi on your right side. When I say start, drink and keep drinking til I say stop! OMG!!! I did. When she said STOP...I had just taken a mouthful...it all spewed onto the pillow and ran out onto the table!
After all, the entire test had started with a tiny bit of liquid in which, she poured some 'popping' crystals. I had to swallow that immediately and NOT BURP! The purpose of that mess? To create burping gas!! I hate that test!
The title above...?? I'd rather be a jockey on a fine tuned thoroughbred about to launch into the race of the year!! It'd be far easier and more conclusive in one fail swoop than what lies ahead.
After the three hour session, I came home with lots of literature, guidelines, recommended foods, liquids, proteins, fibers, etc. If I thought life was complicated before, it almost threw me for a loop yesterday. Michael said to me last night, "what's in the St. Luke's bag?" I turned and looked at him saying, "stuff, I'll talk about it tomorrow. I can't even touch it tonight." I was one whipped puppy.
I guess the worst news out of the entire day was...and, after your surgery, you will have another upper GI to make sure there are no knicked organs, bleeding, etc., etc., etc. She lost me after the words another GI. OMG!!!
And, so, I am IN THE CHUTE...the dance begins. Is it really the two-step as I began in the very beginning last July...or is it a waltz that will continue in the days ahead? I'm not sure. When I figure it out, I'll let you know.
Throughout this adventure, I still observe teacher interns. I've mentioned before that it's a learning experience for me each time. And, it's interesting that I can almost dictate the important things in many of their lives. Some of the sweetest, most caring folks are strong Christians in their daily walk. They will have reminders in their personal area and, of course, as I sit and listen, I sweep the area with my eyes.
Last week, a very strong verse was there for me...
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."
Proverbs 3:5
Well, that's what this chic is doing. I am moving one step at a time, one day at a time! Should the Racing Association call in the next few days and offer me a 'mount'...well, look for me on ESPN!!! Gotta luv it!!!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Cold Winters
Sometimes, the winters were freezing cold during my childhood. When the true winter set in, there were many times the 'tanks' or large ponds would freeze. They all froze around the edges, ever so often, the solid freeze would go clear across the shallow necks of the tanks. What was a kid to do? Why, skate of course. We didn't have skates...we had shoes and they worked like a charm.
My brother, Jim, and I would go and find a 'best' frozen part and jump on the ice and have fun for a while. We'd skate across pretending to be ice skaters or race around acting crazy. With all the clothes we had bundled around us, I'm surprised we could move!!
One particular cold, cold day, we landed on the large tank above the haybarn. What a blast! Suddenly, Jim said, 'here, I'll skate with you and turn you around.' Being a trusting soul, Iwent for that in a heartbeat. What I forgot was, I didn't really know how to ice skate! He turned me, my feet continued backwards faster than I did and WHAM! Cheekbone to ice, come in, you are going to be so bruised. Well, that ended that particular session for the day and yep, I cried. Big 'ol sissy tears! I thought I was ruined for good and forever and I was sure he had done that on purpose!! NOT!
Not only did we play on the ice, but some of the coldest winters sent our daddy to the tank with a chain saw. The cows depended on those tanks for water supply and with no way to get to it, an entire dairy herd was in jeopardy. Daddy would go in his pickup and travel around the edge of the tank stopping several yards apart to cut holes in the frigid, blue ice. Problem solved. Until that night when the temps dropped in the teens again.
Living in a big 'ol white house on a hill had lots of advantages, but, at the same time, that was in the day of no central heat or air. We relied on the Deerborne Space heaters in each room to warm our 'booties' and heat the room. They were neat, a little more expensive though because the outer shell of those heaters did not get hot to the touch!
The rooms in the country house were big...10' ceilings, big country windows and being up on the hill, the wind would whip ferociously at times, knocking against the back door and large windows. We didn't care! Our home was warm from the heaters and warm from family. We continued our lives year round whether 100 degrees or 10 degrees.
Breakfast was together, with all four of us, lunch, well, we were all different directions and supper (yes, back then, supper) was all of us again, gathered to enjoy the home cooking of our multi-talented mother, Lucille! We always enjoyed a full meal with delicious dessert at the end!
Saturday noon was our sandwich day...and our grocery shopping day. Jim and I would escort mother down to the HEB on Elm Street. Me? I had to have a quarter to ride the golden hobby horse that sat gracefully mounted in the store's front window! I was sure I was Annie Oakley every Saturday!
When the quarter played out, I ran to find Mother and Jim and add to the basket size! No, silly, not me on the basket, all the good stuff I wanted her to buy!! By the time we checked out, a mountain of food, all of the lunch meets for the Saturday sandwich meal and the week and it always totaled $35. Of course, we had fresh milk from the barn and a freezer full of home grown beef on the back porch!
We had routines, we were church oriented and all of us had many friends in our lives. Every Sunday morning and night was SS, Worship, Training Union and Worship. Every Wednesday night was Prayer Meeting. Yes, the Freedman's were there, front and center. And, every Sunday night after church was cake and coffee at someone's home. The adults drank coffee visited while all of the kids ran crazy, playing games!
Now, while the chilly winters provided ice skating, the warm spring and summers provided great fishing and swimming if ya wanted! I never had enough patience for fishing, so I'd pretend to fish a while and then grab the horse to lope off over the hill. When we'd take the huge old tire tubes for fishing, I'd hang out and float around the huge tank. Those were the days.
Over the years, the memories have lingered and they always bring refreshing thoughts to mind once. But, we still have a few freezing days of winter and some very hot summers around here. Nope, no one has to go and cut a hole in the ice and nope, I wouldn't skate on it today if I could!
I only allow the good stuff to skate across the corners of my mind. All of my high school buds lived in town...I was the country girl! And, so what, you say? So, nothing, I tell you. To have lived on 300 acres, horses to ride, the wind in my hair and not a care in the world, what was wrong with that?
I had a Bellmead woman ask me one day in the local supermarket, "Honey, don't you get tired of living way there in the country?" Oh, I smiled at her as the wheels turned in my head...I replied, "actually no. The toughest decision I make every day of my life is whether to ride with a saddle or bareback!" That was 'nuff' said. I don't think that woman ever looked at me again!
Tough decisions? We've all had 'em. Changing times. We've all had 'em. Were they all perfect choices? Nope. Can we do better? Yep. And, so, in 16 days, many of my choices are going to be scripted for success. The process of preparing for life changing Lap Band surgery kicks in high gear.
Is this the right choice! Betchyur britches it is!!
My brother, Jim, and I would go and find a 'best' frozen part and jump on the ice and have fun for a while. We'd skate across pretending to be ice skaters or race around acting crazy. With all the clothes we had bundled around us, I'm surprised we could move!!
One particular cold, cold day, we landed on the large tank above the haybarn. What a blast! Suddenly, Jim said, 'here, I'll skate with you and turn you around.' Being a trusting soul, Iwent for that in a heartbeat. What I forgot was, I didn't really know how to ice skate! He turned me, my feet continued backwards faster than I did and WHAM! Cheekbone to ice, come in, you are going to be so bruised. Well, that ended that particular session for the day and yep, I cried. Big 'ol sissy tears! I thought I was ruined for good and forever and I was sure he had done that on purpose!! NOT!
Not only did we play on the ice, but some of the coldest winters sent our daddy to the tank with a chain saw. The cows depended on those tanks for water supply and with no way to get to it, an entire dairy herd was in jeopardy. Daddy would go in his pickup and travel around the edge of the tank stopping several yards apart to cut holes in the frigid, blue ice. Problem solved. Until that night when the temps dropped in the teens again.
Living in a big 'ol white house on a hill had lots of advantages, but, at the same time, that was in the day of no central heat or air. We relied on the Deerborne Space heaters in each room to warm our 'booties' and heat the room. They were neat, a little more expensive though because the outer shell of those heaters did not get hot to the touch!
The rooms in the country house were big...10' ceilings, big country windows and being up on the hill, the wind would whip ferociously at times, knocking against the back door and large windows. We didn't care! Our home was warm from the heaters and warm from family. We continued our lives year round whether 100 degrees or 10 degrees.
Breakfast was together, with all four of us, lunch, well, we were all different directions and supper (yes, back then, supper) was all of us again, gathered to enjoy the home cooking of our multi-talented mother, Lucille! We always enjoyed a full meal with delicious dessert at the end!
Saturday noon was our sandwich day...and our grocery shopping day. Jim and I would escort mother down to the HEB on Elm Street. Me? I had to have a quarter to ride the golden hobby horse that sat gracefully mounted in the store's front window! I was sure I was Annie Oakley every Saturday!
When the quarter played out, I ran to find Mother and Jim and add to the basket size! No, silly, not me on the basket, all the good stuff I wanted her to buy!! By the time we checked out, a mountain of food, all of the lunch meets for the Saturday sandwich meal and the week and it always totaled $35. Of course, we had fresh milk from the barn and a freezer full of home grown beef on the back porch!
We had routines, we were church oriented and all of us had many friends in our lives. Every Sunday morning and night was SS, Worship, Training Union and Worship. Every Wednesday night was Prayer Meeting. Yes, the Freedman's were there, front and center. And, every Sunday night after church was cake and coffee at someone's home. The adults drank coffee visited while all of the kids ran crazy, playing games!
Now, while the chilly winters provided ice skating, the warm spring and summers provided great fishing and swimming if ya wanted! I never had enough patience for fishing, so I'd pretend to fish a while and then grab the horse to lope off over the hill. When we'd take the huge old tire tubes for fishing, I'd hang out and float around the huge tank. Those were the days.
Over the years, the memories have lingered and they always bring refreshing thoughts to mind once. But, we still have a few freezing days of winter and some very hot summers around here. Nope, no one has to go and cut a hole in the ice and nope, I wouldn't skate on it today if I could!
I only allow the good stuff to skate across the corners of my mind. All of my high school buds lived in town...I was the country girl! And, so what, you say? So, nothing, I tell you. To have lived on 300 acres, horses to ride, the wind in my hair and not a care in the world, what was wrong with that?
I had a Bellmead woman ask me one day in the local supermarket, "Honey, don't you get tired of living way there in the country?" Oh, I smiled at her as the wheels turned in my head...I replied, "actually no. The toughest decision I make every day of my life is whether to ride with a saddle or bareback!" That was 'nuff' said. I don't think that woman ever looked at me again!
Tough decisions? We've all had 'em. Changing times. We've all had 'em. Were they all perfect choices? Nope. Can we do better? Yep. And, so, in 16 days, many of my choices are going to be scripted for success. The process of preparing for life changing Lap Band surgery kicks in high gear.
Is this the right choice! Betchyur britches it is!!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Houston, We Have A Plan!!!
This all began in July, 2008. Where has the time gone? I was told I was being referred to the Bariatric Surgery Team at Baylor College of Med (BCM) for Lap Band. After I got over the 'shock' of being told that (without hinting about it or asking for it) the wonder of it all began to penetrate my brain!
I am excited, shocked and somewhat anxious. It's not every day that anyone gets a 'second chance' to start over! It's been a while since I've heard from some folks, but I know there may be some curiosity over the coming weeks.
As I sat with my calendar before me yesterday afternoon, I made note of each date and time and place. The clock's ticking and the 'horses' are in the gate!
February 17th...
I take all medications with me to the 12th floor of the Baylor Clinic.
9:30 a.m. check in
To follow...Chest X-rays
10:00 a.m. Abdominal ultrasound
11:00 a.m. Upper GI YUCK, YUCK, YUCK, YUCK AND MOREEEEE YUCKKKKKKK (would someone do this for me? I hate these things!! YUCK
To Follow...Labs
Once I complete those appointments and SURVIVE UPPER GI, I walk over the Baylor Faculty Center. From 1:00 - 4:00 Preop Class with Nurse Practitioner and Dietician.
Are you fascinated yet? Bored? Tired? Go get a snack, and make it something really good...maybe a little gooey for moi!
February 24th...begin Preop Liquid Diet for 2 weeks prior to surgery. This diet is prescribed to shrink the size of the liver.
And, you say, what does this consist of?
No sugar added Nestle Carnation Instant Breakfast
Slim-Fast High Protein, Optima, Low Carb, Lactose Free
Boost Glucose Control, Muscle Milk "Light", Myoplex Lite Carb Shakes
Water, broth, sugar free jello/popsicles, fat free yogurt/pudding
Fat free cream soups, low sodium tomato soup (no chunky soups)
Diet fruit/veg juices (low sodium), Propel Fitness Water, sugar free Kool-Aid
Special K20, IsoPure protein drink, Crystal light
Other liquids: less than 200 calories, less that 5 g fat, less than 15 g sugar, greater than 10-15 g protein per serving
This provides 900-1000 calories per day!
March 4th...11:30 a.m.
Visit with anesthesia representative. O'Quinn Medical Tower @St. Luke's, 12th floor. That's nice, a little closer to Heaven that day! I'm told this appointment may take several hours. Who knew?
12:30 p.m. Pre-op appointment with Dr. Sherman, 14th floor, hello Heaven, I'm closer still!
March 9th...nothing after midnight!
March 10th...Report to O'Quinn Medical Tower, 9th floor Day Surgery Department at 8:00 a.m. And, the real deal begins!
Now you have the plan at hand. Now you can think about me on the 10th of March!
I have selected this date in order to give me two weeks off. Dr. Sherman likes for his patients to be still for a couple of weeks. My interns will have Spring break the next week, so, I'll join them! I just will be hangin' out around here though.
I will be on a liquid diet for a couple of weeks after surgery, progressing to soft foods, then regular. I'm not sure of the time frames, but I bet I learn quickly!!
It has been good to have this many months to think about and self talk about this new lifestyle. It is a permanent change...yes, the band can be removed, but who in their right mind would ever pursue this with that thought in mind? It's not a magic bullet, but helps me to limit (severly) the intake of foods. Can you go wrong? Certainly. There are some folks who have chosen to intake high caloric foods. Bad choice. But those who work the program to their advantage and do the right things, they are pounds lighter!
And, so, the days are falling away now at a fast pace. What's one thing I'm indulging in? Snickers. I gave in yesterday and had two, right out of the oven Shipley glazed donuts. Oh, my word. I'm not sure when the last time was for a donut!! No, I'm not packing on extra pounds. I can only fall over the edge slightly, my conscience has never allowed me the freedom of going full blast ahead!!
For dinner last night, we had sushi. Yes, I've grown to love it and, the taste for it runs in cycles. The California Roll is a fave and the Tempura Roll, second fave. What else, you say? We will enjoy and big 'ol pizza one night. Yep, ordered in here and just fall face down chompin'!!! lolol
Other than those things, just enjoying the little things anytime of the day I wish!!
Things I look forward to...sitting in any booth in any restaurant with space between my tummy and the table. Entering an establishment (classroom or other) without folks having the 'look' of whoa! She's a big gurl!! Fastening the seatbelt with ease and not having it rub my neck every mile!! Shopping for regular sized clothes anywhere I wish...or, Walmart!! lolol Traveling on a plane and having to pull the seatbelt snug!! And, fitting in my own chair!!!
You see, for the average person, those are nothing. For the big gurls and guys of the world...those are challenges. It's time for the challenge to cease and the living to begin!
In 1989, I lost 117 pounds with Weight Watchers. I was fitting into a size 6 pant/shorts. I was fascinated with that! My top half was still a 12-14...but, it was exhilerating to shop anywhere! We'll see what happens in the months to come.
Hang in here, keep reading, keep cheering and keep in touch! It's great to hear from the folks in the 'stands' who take time out to follow the thread here.
Have a super weekend...eat healthy and plan some fun Super Bowl Food! See, there ya go, life revolves around food, food and more food!!!
I am excited, shocked and somewhat anxious. It's not every day that anyone gets a 'second chance' to start over! It's been a while since I've heard from some folks, but I know there may be some curiosity over the coming weeks.
As I sat with my calendar before me yesterday afternoon, I made note of each date and time and place. The clock's ticking and the 'horses' are in the gate!
February 17th...
I take all medications with me to the 12th floor of the Baylor Clinic.
9:30 a.m. check in
To follow...Chest X-rays
10:00 a.m. Abdominal ultrasound
11:00 a.m. Upper GI YUCK, YUCK, YUCK, YUCK AND MOREEEEE YUCKKKKKKK (would someone do this for me? I hate these things!! YUCK
To Follow...Labs
Once I complete those appointments and SURVIVE UPPER GI, I walk over the Baylor Faculty Center. From 1:00 - 4:00 Preop Class with Nurse Practitioner and Dietician.
Are you fascinated yet? Bored? Tired? Go get a snack, and make it something really good...maybe a little gooey for moi!
February 24th...begin Preop Liquid Diet for 2 weeks prior to surgery. This diet is prescribed to shrink the size of the liver.
And, you say, what does this consist of?
No sugar added Nestle Carnation Instant Breakfast
Slim-Fast High Protein, Optima, Low Carb, Lactose Free
Boost Glucose Control, Muscle Milk "Light", Myoplex Lite Carb Shakes
Water, broth, sugar free jello/popsicles, fat free yogurt/pudding
Fat free cream soups, low sodium tomato soup (no chunky soups)
Diet fruit/veg juices (low sodium), Propel Fitness Water, sugar free Kool-Aid
Special K20, IsoPure protein drink, Crystal light
Other liquids: less than 200 calories, less that 5 g fat, less than 15 g sugar, greater than 10-15 g protein per serving
This provides 900-1000 calories per day!
March 4th...11:30 a.m.
Visit with anesthesia representative. O'Quinn Medical Tower @St. Luke's, 12th floor. That's nice, a little closer to Heaven that day! I'm told this appointment may take several hours. Who knew?
12:30 p.m. Pre-op appointment with Dr. Sherman, 14th floor, hello Heaven, I'm closer still!
March 9th...nothing after midnight!
March 10th...Report to O'Quinn Medical Tower, 9th floor Day Surgery Department at 8:00 a.m. And, the real deal begins!
Now you have the plan at hand. Now you can think about me on the 10th of March!
I have selected this date in order to give me two weeks off. Dr. Sherman likes for his patients to be still for a couple of weeks. My interns will have Spring break the next week, so, I'll join them! I just will be hangin' out around here though.
I will be on a liquid diet for a couple of weeks after surgery, progressing to soft foods, then regular. I'm not sure of the time frames, but I bet I learn quickly!!
It has been good to have this many months to think about and self talk about this new lifestyle. It is a permanent change...yes, the band can be removed, but who in their right mind would ever pursue this with that thought in mind? It's not a magic bullet, but helps me to limit (severly) the intake of foods. Can you go wrong? Certainly. There are some folks who have chosen to intake high caloric foods. Bad choice. But those who work the program to their advantage and do the right things, they are pounds lighter!
And, so, the days are falling away now at a fast pace. What's one thing I'm indulging in? Snickers. I gave in yesterday and had two, right out of the oven Shipley glazed donuts. Oh, my word. I'm not sure when the last time was for a donut!! No, I'm not packing on extra pounds. I can only fall over the edge slightly, my conscience has never allowed me the freedom of going full blast ahead!!
For dinner last night, we had sushi. Yes, I've grown to love it and, the taste for it runs in cycles. The California Roll is a fave and the Tempura Roll, second fave. What else, you say? We will enjoy and big 'ol pizza one night. Yep, ordered in here and just fall face down chompin'!!! lolol
Other than those things, just enjoying the little things anytime of the day I wish!!
Things I look forward to...sitting in any booth in any restaurant with space between my tummy and the table. Entering an establishment (classroom or other) without folks having the 'look' of whoa! She's a big gurl!! Fastening the seatbelt with ease and not having it rub my neck every mile!! Shopping for regular sized clothes anywhere I wish...or, Walmart!! lolol Traveling on a plane and having to pull the seatbelt snug!! And, fitting in my own chair!!!
You see, for the average person, those are nothing. For the big gurls and guys of the world...those are challenges. It's time for the challenge to cease and the living to begin!
In 1989, I lost 117 pounds with Weight Watchers. I was fitting into a size 6 pant/shorts. I was fascinated with that! My top half was still a 12-14...but, it was exhilerating to shop anywhere! We'll see what happens in the months to come.
Hang in here, keep reading, keep cheering and keep in touch! It's great to hear from the folks in the 'stands' who take time out to follow the thread here.
Have a super weekend...eat healthy and plan some fun Super Bowl Food! See, there ya go, life revolves around food, food and more food!!!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
March 10th!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, folks, Aetna came through with flying colors. I was approved and received my surgery date for March 10th. I will go early morning, have surgery and return home late afternoon. I will have 5 entry wounds around the tummy and a one ounce pouch for liquids.
How do I feel? Great. It's time. I have an old friend from church who had the procedure done on January 2nd. He and his wife drove to Monterrey, Mexico for his surgery. I talked to him 8 days afterwards...they drove home that Sunday, he was in office on Monday, had sung in the choir that next Sunday morning and was talking to me. He was already 17 pounds lighter and happy as a gettin' skinny pig!!!
It's been a process, and choosing the March date allows me two weeks to 'lay low' and heal somewhat. My interns will have Spring break that next week, so I'll be carefree.
Thank you for cheering, for caring, for sharing and for thinking me worthy of your interest. This is a totally life changing experience I'm embarking upon and so ready by now. I've had lots of 'think' time and mental attitude adjustments. Yes, I've been enjoying some favorite foods in the past months and ready to surrender the play side of food.
Instead of living to eat now, I will eat to live. When I summon the 'nerve' I'll post picks now as I go. It will make the journey far more interesting for all who read here.
I observe far more than the teacher when I'm visiting their environment. I was in a Kindergarten teacher's room last week and saw this in a frame on her desk:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Cornthians 12:9
Am I fearful? No need to be. I weathered 10 strenuous days of powerful testing back in March, 2004 with death right on my heels. For some reason I still am trying to discover, He brought me through it all. As I go into a 45 minute procedure, I will trust that He is in charge and all doctors are under His watch care as well.
Keep me in heart and mind and send good thoughts my way. Friends are forever, family is my strength...this too shall be okay!
How do I feel? Great. It's time. I have an old friend from church who had the procedure done on January 2nd. He and his wife drove to Monterrey, Mexico for his surgery. I talked to him 8 days afterwards...they drove home that Sunday, he was in office on Monday, had sung in the choir that next Sunday morning and was talking to me. He was already 17 pounds lighter and happy as a gettin' skinny pig!!!
It's been a process, and choosing the March date allows me two weeks to 'lay low' and heal somewhat. My interns will have Spring break that next week, so I'll be carefree.
Thank you for cheering, for caring, for sharing and for thinking me worthy of your interest. This is a totally life changing experience I'm embarking upon and so ready by now. I've had lots of 'think' time and mental attitude adjustments. Yes, I've been enjoying some favorite foods in the past months and ready to surrender the play side of food.
Instead of living to eat now, I will eat to live. When I summon the 'nerve' I'll post picks now as I go. It will make the journey far more interesting for all who read here.
I observe far more than the teacher when I'm visiting their environment. I was in a Kindergarten teacher's room last week and saw this in a frame on her desk:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Cornthians 12:9
Am I fearful? No need to be. I weathered 10 strenuous days of powerful testing back in March, 2004 with death right on my heels. For some reason I still am trying to discover, He brought me through it all. As I go into a 45 minute procedure, I will trust that He is in charge and all doctors are under His watch care as well.
Keep me in heart and mind and send good thoughts my way. Friends are forever, family is my strength...this too shall be okay!
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