Life's Road

I traveled to Ft. Worth/Dallas last Friday. Michael had a big job he was to finish up around Lake Livingston, so, we were both up and moving at 4 a.m. I've never been a 'morning' person all my life, so that was the first challenge!

A huge storm presented itself just the other side of Huntsville. We're talking 'could've been fish falling from the sky'...so much torrential downpour and no place to go, but straight ahead. To add to the intense experience, I was groggy! Too little sleep, too early in the day and too far to go.

Finally after almost an hour, I passed into the blue sky phase with sunbeams pouring down and drying the car off. Hallelujah, I thought! There were many cars that had pulled over on the side of the road and a couple in the median where they had lost control and slid!

Moving down the road, the rythm of country western music, the syncopated whine of the tires on the road and the bright sun (I had my Maui Jim's on) painted a warm, comfortable place within my Infiniti. Not good. I realized I was drifting ever so often, but assured myself I could do this successfully.

Just south of Corsicana I had the 'wake up call' of my life. I'm famous for sitting in my recliner and drifting, having short bursts of 'mini dreams' waft through my mind. They are brief, but most of the time, pleasant. One of those picturesque moments fell over my eyes and I was comfortable, thinking of past times. The smallest of change in the wheels of the car caused me to open my eyes! EUREEKA!

My black car was perhaps two big feet from contacting the concrete divider on the left, inside lane of I45! WHOOOSH....I rapidly steered right and came back into the center of my lane! With a lump in my throat, I quickly passed over the lanes and pulled off on the shoulder. I sat there in awe, that I had opened my eyes just in the 'knick of time'.

Pulling down to the next exit, I did so and pulled into a parking lot to sit and ponder what had just 'nearly' happened. From there on, I had no trouble staying awake and arrived at the American Airlines Training Facility for the iteach conference! I was grateful and again wondered, what is my purpose on this 'ol earth? They say everything happens for a reason! I could easily have been wiped out and never knew what hit me.

The conference was good, food fine (what little I ate), company fun and the Ganda Beads are a great conversation piece! Our prize this summer was Ganda Beads made by all the women in the village of Uganda. They sell them for $15 to raise money for education of the children. I was so smitten with them, when they announced we could purchase beads if we wished, on Saturday, I selected one more, very unique patterened piece.

I saw some very good friends we had met two years prior at the conference and we 'hooked' up for the formal dining Friday night. It made all the difference in the world, we talked, shared experiences and laughed because we were sharing 'so many things'. Marla laughed and said, 'I have no clue why I'm telling you this'! I replied, 'because we're friends! We met two years ago, this is our second encounter, thus FRIENDS'!!

Marla and Don are the kind of folks everyone needs to meet once in a while. They are down home, good 'ol country kinda folks and we fit like a glove! That was just an added, fun time during the brief conference.

As I drove south to come home, I detoured through Waco, Texas. It had been years since I visited the gravesite of my mom and dad. A few reflective moments there, and I was on the road to Humble. It was time to get home to 'children' and hubby! The children being Percy, Mag-e and Rojo, our dogs!

Amazingly, on the north side of Huntsville, a storm had moved far ahead of me. The pic of the rainbow above is what I captured as I approached the town. Of course, I'm thinking, finally, my pot of gold awaits me in Huntsville! Not to be.

Suddenly, the traffic came to a grinding HALT. Checking gas gauge, I was glad to see I had plenty. The traffic was that creepy, crawly Rita kind of moment. Finally, I could see flashing lights, EMT vehicles and tow trucks up on the rise of the highway. Sure enough, not just an accident, but a horrendous accident. Five cars were involved and I'm sure someone did not walk away from the tragedy. I thanked my lucky stars as I crept past and saw as much as I could.

Five miles down the highway, I was shocked. On the north lane side, not one, not two, but three separate accidents. The ambulances were screaming towards them and highway patrol had people standing out of the way. Humble wasn't too far off, and I was really ready to pull in my driveway!

I did. 8 p.m. Home safe and sound. As I think about the weekend, I'm pleased. Those who were seated with me at each meal were in wonder at how little I ate! Me? I was brim full. This created an entire new feeling for me. For the first time, I was the one eating the smallest amount, leaving huge helpings on my plate!

Since my fill 5 days ago, it seems to be working again! I have lost two pounds since last Wednesday! I can only eat minimal servings without question and I am exercising with Mag-e...brisk walks, daily!

Two important lessons for me in the past days....never pull over and stop during the tumultuous storm, there's a clear sky and sunshine on the other side. Life's the same way for all of us. We must keep moving forward with our goal in sight rather than be sidelined with doubt or fear. And, I am the keeper of me. My common sense and judgement are two important tools I must utilize daily to survive the challenges, struggles and changes in my life.

There were several weeks with my 'band' that would have made it simple for me to throw my hands up and pull over the shoulder and be defeated. However, I kept going. Now, it's payday! I hope for each of you that you find or have found that important 'piece' in life. If you're still searching, keep moving and keep looking. When you reach that destination, you can look back at friends or acquaintances who took the easy way out!

Best wishes for a tremendous week!

What I've Been Waiting For

I saw the surgeon on Wednesday, I was same weight as last month. Two things have happened since that day...

He filled me with another whole cc, which he said was a lot! I'm now at 8 cc...and, the band is marching! The difference is the restriction is finally there. For example, I've been on liquids until this morning (Wednesday night and yesterday) because the tummy has to have healing time after each fill. I made a piece of cheesetoast because that's a fave food of mine.

I ate three fourths of it and suddenly, the stop sign went up from the band! Had I eaten another bite, it would have been my regret! So, it's finally coaching and doing it very well.

Mag-e and I started Obedience Training last Monday night. I work her at least 20 minutes each late afternoon. We walk at very brisk pace and are both dripping with sweat and heated to furnace level at the end of it.

Since Wednesday at 2:15, the scales are down 4.2 pounds. Me thinks we're back in the game, I'll keep ya posted!!

Happy Friday and good huntin'!

A Brighter Monday

Beautiful Bouganvillia hanging in my backyard. This was two weeks ago as it began to really bloom. Today, kapow! It's kickin' and growin' and lookin' gorgeous. Gotta luv it.

Following the death of my sweet mother, I faded into some dark shadows for a couple of years. Percy, my shuga man, was a little light in my life, and he worked hard to turn me around.

It finally happened. Life was re-ordered, smile back in place and moved ahead. But, during those times of shadows, I neglected everything (except Percy) that had been important to me. My yards had been a priority and the beauty of the plush yard was like my own park. For three to four years however, I neglected it all. No water, no love, no talk, no grass!

After Michael came into my life, we both finally decided it was TIME to get the green back in view. The backyard was sodded last October, I've tended it well and it has flourished beyond belief. It's similar to life. We must nourish what's of value and allow it to thrive and grow, being enriched on daily basis.

Hard work and determination over the past years...through health issues...have brought me to this place today. Yesterday, "A Rough Night in Jericho"...today, all's better. I will have those valleys and watch some clouds gather. The important aspect of it all is to recognize the time to act and move forward.

Saturday's post was a small piece of past memories coupled with today's life stressors. There are several folks reading this blog, and one of those 'special friends' posted a comment on the last post. One illuminous, glaring piece of 'go get 'em and keep your chin up' rang true. For that, I thank her a multitude of times.

Today, I have a brighter me 'in place'. It makes all the difference in the world, don't we all know. The yard's are tended, the plants are fed, I managed to get a delicious piece of 'cheese toast' (one of my faves) down without any rebellion from tummy and my happy is returning.

Who knows why we ebb and flow? Who knows how we all handle life stressors? Who knows how challenging each day will be? Who knows if they're job will be secure tomorrow? Who knows some of the grief our family and friends deal with daily? Not me. I only know that life's on a new course, new destination and a heck of turn around.

In no way will I allow me to falter in this quest. Yep, there have been various challenging events in the past months. And no, not all related to being banded. It's just the rythm of life's synchronized patterns. Crescendo's go wild and suddenly the soft, playful side kicks in. Through each day, it's a must that folks recognize and zone in on the truly significant portions and fill 'er up.

Yep, I had some clouds on my horizon last week. They had been gathering in the distance for a while. Today, it's like partly cloudy, but a really nice day to begin this week. And, btw, a special cousin sent an email after last Saturday's post. I thank him for that. A comical 'run in' with a DETECTIVE over a stop sign in his neighborhood prompted a hilarious description from him.

We must always remember that we have family and friends standing in the wings, ready to charge and stand with us if we need it. Life moves in many concentric circles. Many of those overlap and some stand alone. For me, life is made of many islands. Church is one, home is one, the mall is one, etc. My island(s) generate a zest for life.

Let go and experience some of the better parts of each day. I'm 'on the road again'. I see my surgeon Wednesday at 2:45 and get the fourth fill. Who knows what's ahead after that? Success, for certain; hard work, of course; new clothes, always!

Have a marvelous Monday, a tremendous week and coke, with a smile!

See ya round the corner.

Family is a given, but good, good friends are a luxury. I appreciate you all!

Just A Drive by

Well, it's hot in Houston and that leads to staying inside most of the time. I haven't written in a long while and there may some wondering what's the deal. The deal is...life, stressors, challenges, daily stuff getting in the way and dog paddling on course.
The folks I bowl with are still smiling over my changed looks. They call me 'skinny' and smile from ear to ear. I am a much smaller me than in the past and I'm still very pleased with that. However, you've heard the term 'stuff happens' -- it does.
And, lately 'stuff' has been getting in the way. Momentarily, I guess I've lost the 'happy' in my eyes and smile. Not sure where it's retreated, but I'm sure it will return one of these days. So, a picture is worth a thousand words, but I refuse to post a smile without 'happy' attached.
I'm searching for it high and low with confidence it's within reach. When I find it, I'll share it again. Until then, I'm continuing to do various things in order to 'jump start' the loss again.
I hope every reader is having a great summer of fun...perhaps traveling or engaged in a new project you love.
For me, I'll keep searching until I recapture the happy piece of my life. Until then, if you run into that 'piece', would ya send it UPS special delivery? It'll be appreciated.

Summer Reflections

Image by sυρея маҳч © via Flickr

June, it's never been this hot this early before! The days are sizzlin' and so am I! Yesterday presented an opportunity for some self reflection in this journey. When I put the calculator to the figures, I'm really on course with all of this.

To date, I've actually lost .44 pounds per day. That's taking the 46 divided by number of days, etc. And, inches have dropped...30+. Size is still changing and so am I.

I have made an important change backwards. With bariatric surgery of any kind, many folks get consumed with protein, protein, protein. In short, that can be highly detrimental. Following some in-depth research on this topic, I've concluded that 50 grams of protein per day is very adequate for banded people. Previously I was working to consume 70-90 per day. That's a lot!

Thus, I've reintroduced fruits into my daily diet and have diverted my attention from the Protein bars. I will have one ever so, depending on daily schedule and what's going on, but, I am in the MENTAL WAR and striving to break habits again. Three meals a day and one interesting snack is a must for me. I've kicked up my coffee and some other drinks with Torani Sugar Free Syrups. Great flavors and fun tastes. For those dealing with Starbucks habits, try some of these...you can copy what you order at the counter!

As I shopped in Randall's yesterday, I hesitated at the blood pressure machine. The person before me had a nice reading, left open to see, and I pumped me up! It was kina good...111/60!! Need I say more?

These little things are the driving forces in my life change today. That b/p is without any scripts for over three months now. My BMI has dropped by 11 points and my walkig abitlity is normal. Anytime Michael says, "man, you're flyin', I'm havin' to really walk fast to keep up with you"...you know you've improved drastically. And that's just shopping the grocery stores and Walmart!!

The past several days I've been opening the http://www.lapbandertalk.com/ site. There are so many curious people, experienced people, lost in the dark people and the list goes on. A positive part of that for me today is the simple goodness in seeing what others are struggling to overcome or accomplish in their battles. My other support site is http://www.obesithelp.org/. When I go through before and after pics of fat folks, I get pumped! I'm on my way!

Since the last fill, my eating has improved greatly, meaning, 99% goes down and stays down! I'm not sure what's changed, but something's different. I return on the 15th for fill number 4 and that should be a real winner. If I'm not right at the 'spot', I'm within inches of it. We'll see what comes from next fill.

As I reflect over the past many years in this battle of the bulge, I always return to age 10/11. That was a summer of very hard work, not only on my part, but my mother's as well. We left Hillcrest hospital that spring with a 1000 calorie, very strict diet. And, I do mean diet! But, by the Fall of my Jr. High beginning, I was a skinny minny.

It's always important to realize what our good health means to those who love us. Michael is excited over this trek. He has seen the 'other' me, locked in a recliner. Yes, he's the nephew of the world reknown chef, James Beard and yes, the food is superb in this house. If you google James Beard, you will see an older version of my husband, Michael!!

In his twenties, Michael attended Paul Prudhomme's Cooking School in New Orleans. Can you say 'cajun flavors'? Can you say blackened anything? Can you say gumbo to lay down and die for? Sauces are a specialty of my husband. Prior to banding, yum and more yum. He still does sauces, but minus the butter...shucky dern!

He cooks now with all the flavors, seasonings, fresh basil, etc and the taste is to die for. Dinner last evening was tender, juicy, Delmonico steak, seared romaine (off the grill) and baked potato. We split one steak, we split one potato and we each had a serving of the romaine. The steak was topped with mushrooms prepared with salt, pepper, sauteed onions, soy and balsamic vinegar (for acidity)!! If you need a superb sauce for your steak, get the skillet down and do it!!

Our meals are free of heavy fat, butter, oil, etc. Clean cooking and something to look forward to each evening. The only problem with me these days....some days I have no desire to even speak of food. On those days, we do our 'own thing' and graze. However, there is a danger in grazing. If you're not careful, you can get way off track.

For my sweet tooth, I eat Teddy Grahams, sugar free fudgecicles, sugar free popsicles, sugar free jello and sometimes, Graham cracker. Lately, bananas and apples are back in and I found a Marzetti's 100 calorie fruit dip. I use about a half of one of those for fruits. So, now, you have some insight on banded Pat!

Do I suffer frustration with all of this? YES AND YES, AGAIN. Do I sometimes withdraw from the world with this? Yep. But, I always refocus and jump back on track. This is a journey for a bander, not a destination. This is not a magic fix...the conciensious part of this journey must stay in tact until "death do us part". This will go on the REST OF MY LIFE. Now you understand the importance of strong mental attitude and self control.

Cheer for those you know who are battling weight. Offer words of encouragement. Develop a bit of empathy for those folks because...until you've walked a mile in their shoes, you KNOW NOTHING!

Pay it forward this week and smile at a stranger! And, if you see a sweet little senior adult struggling in the aisle of the supermarket, offer a kind gesture. You know not what they're going home to face.

Dear Lap Band

Image via Wikipedia

I've crossed many bridges in the past weeks and months. Thanks to you, the crossings are getting somewhat easier with each new dawn. Changes of the mind, heart, body and perspective morph with each night's sleep and bring new expectations to life within me.

Bringing you into my life has been the best thing I've ever done for myself. Often I wonder, why didn't I do this sooner? I'm sure though that there are many times we simply find it hard to embrace the possibilities of something so life-changing happening to us. I did.

But, thanks to you...life's very different today. This was my first day back to the Family Life Center at church to begin my walking program. There was a time in the Fall, 04 where I would go to walk and only complete a quarter lap before having to stop and 'suck' in oxygen to be able to go again. By springtime, 05 I was somewhat better. I could walk in half-laps with breathing intervals in between. I thought I was doing someting!

Today, after March, 09 surgery and quick loss of 46 pounds, I hit the floor decked out in new gym shoes and new attitude. I began my walk at 12:15, walking just a tad above a strong slow walk...crossed back over the beginning after lap one, still breathing very well.

Lap 2, lap 3, lap 4...took a brief pause just 'cause. Wow! 4 solid laps without thinking twice! I'm stoked. I continued and did the next four...same repeat. When 20 minutes had passed, I had done a mile and a tenth. Now, for many readers, that's nothing. To a person coming back into life at age 60, that's pretty darn terrific.

In addition to that good news, I thank you personally for the following....
being able to pull and buckle my seatbelt (like normal folks do)
being able to sit comfortably in the movie chairs and smile...I fit
the ability to sit in a booth in any establishment (no embarrassment of hesitating when asked)
not having people stare at me on the mall or in a restaurant
being able to buy real clothes again...not being limited to Cahterine's for big chicks!
putting on tennis shoes, bending my knee to cross the other, no pain, no fuss
being able to lay down and breathe easy, sleeping soundly all night long
the ability to cross my legs again
being able to prop a foot up on my recliner and sit comfortably for a great change
fitting in the store bathroom stalls (yep, that's a challenge for a fat gurl)
the ability to walk among folks on the mall or whereever, matching their normal pace
(I've had many past days prior to where I became an expert at disguise...pretending to browse while my lungs 'caught up'...no need for that now)
having a smile that causes some friendly waves in my cheeks, meaning their gettin' skinny
having friends comment on 'how great you look'....they can see I'm healthy again
and, if I ever fly again, I can buckle that dang seatbelt and PULL IT TIGHTER!!! yeeehaawww

You have been instrumental in the physical changes in my life. The rest of the story is up to me. Although I fight the BRAIN WAR daily, I am abiding by the new required protein rules and such. I do have times where my mind urges me to snack, graze, have crunchies, etc...Remember, you fixed my tummy...you didn't adjust my mind!!

And, so, it was a time to say thank you in a different way. I anxiously await more time to pass and see where I go with all of this new life. The best part is to understand how valuable every day is to me now. Not wasting breath nor movement is essential and keeping it tuned to activity a priority.
My sweet mother had a fantastic life phrase regarding life..."it's all about quality, not quantity".
I've recaptured the quality, now I'll move forward and see what the quantity meter allows!

All of these things are due to your positive effects and again, I say thank you from my much better working heart!!

I close with a smile,

Pat
personal goal...to PAY IT FORWARD!!!!!!!