Dear Lap Band

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I've crossed many bridges in the past weeks and months. Thanks to you, the crossings are getting somewhat easier with each new dawn. Changes of the mind, heart, body and perspective morph with each night's sleep and bring new expectations to life within me.

Bringing you into my life has been the best thing I've ever done for myself. Often I wonder, why didn't I do this sooner? I'm sure though that there are many times we simply find it hard to embrace the possibilities of something so life-changing happening to us. I did.

But, thanks to you...life's very different today. This was my first day back to the Family Life Center at church to begin my walking program. There was a time in the Fall, 04 where I would go to walk and only complete a quarter lap before having to stop and 'suck' in oxygen to be able to go again. By springtime, 05 I was somewhat better. I could walk in half-laps with breathing intervals in between. I thought I was doing someting!

Today, after March, 09 surgery and quick loss of 46 pounds, I hit the floor decked out in new gym shoes and new attitude. I began my walk at 12:15, walking just a tad above a strong slow walk...crossed back over the beginning after lap one, still breathing very well.

Lap 2, lap 3, lap 4...took a brief pause just 'cause. Wow! 4 solid laps without thinking twice! I'm stoked. I continued and did the next four...same repeat. When 20 minutes had passed, I had done a mile and a tenth. Now, for many readers, that's nothing. To a person coming back into life at age 60, that's pretty darn terrific.

In addition to that good news, I thank you personally for the following....
being able to pull and buckle my seatbelt (like normal folks do)
being able to sit comfortably in the movie chairs and smile...I fit
the ability to sit in a booth in any establishment (no embarrassment of hesitating when asked)
not having people stare at me on the mall or in a restaurant
being able to buy real clothes again...not being limited to Cahterine's for big chicks!
putting on tennis shoes, bending my knee to cross the other, no pain, no fuss
being able to lay down and breathe easy, sleeping soundly all night long
the ability to cross my legs again
being able to prop a foot up on my recliner and sit comfortably for a great change
fitting in the store bathroom stalls (yep, that's a challenge for a fat gurl)
the ability to walk among folks on the mall or whereever, matching their normal pace
(I've had many past days prior to where I became an expert at disguise...pretending to browse while my lungs 'caught up'...no need for that now)
having a smile that causes some friendly waves in my cheeks, meaning their gettin' skinny
having friends comment on 'how great you look'....they can see I'm healthy again
and, if I ever fly again, I can buckle that dang seatbelt and PULL IT TIGHTER!!! yeeehaawww

You have been instrumental in the physical changes in my life. The rest of the story is up to me. Although I fight the BRAIN WAR daily, I am abiding by the new required protein rules and such. I do have times where my mind urges me to snack, graze, have crunchies, etc...Remember, you fixed my tummy...you didn't adjust my mind!!

And, so, it was a time to say thank you in a different way. I anxiously await more time to pass and see where I go with all of this new life. The best part is to understand how valuable every day is to me now. Not wasting breath nor movement is essential and keeping it tuned to activity a priority.
My sweet mother had a fantastic life phrase regarding life..."it's all about quality, not quantity".
I've recaptured the quality, now I'll move forward and see what the quantity meter allows!

All of these things are due to your positive effects and again, I say thank you from my much better working heart!!

I close with a smile,

Pat
personal goal...to PAY IT FORWARD!!!!!!!

Reflections of the BEGINNING

In the Fall of 2008, my life really began to change. I was still miles from the actual surgery, but appointments, advice, workshops and more began to fill my calendar. Change was in the wind and on the horizon. My thoughts began to meld into 'We've got trouble, right here in River City...' life had dealt me a tricky hand, but the MUSIC MAN was going to bale me out!

As I met with each individual on my diverse TEAM of BCM professionals, new thoughts began to infiltrate my mind. It was coming clear that major changes in attitude, choices and old habits had to made a complete 360 in order to facilitate success over the coming months.

Although a challenging process, a very rewarding process as well. Many people struggle with habits daily, no, they're not having surgery for their weight issues, but, still age and habits strongly affect us as we grow older.

A few tips given me in the early stages were:

Do not eat while you're doing something else. Eat at a certain place -- your special place! My special place is at the dining room table. Forget the television...you are EATING.

Knock out poor habits. I was in the teaching profession for 30 years. We had 20 minute lunches and had to be back in class on the bell!! Can you say SCARF? Slow down and take a long time to chew, think about texture and flavor and get some pleasure out of your food.

Do not keep high calorie foods available! Plan your meals, create your list before you walk through the door and stick to it! Low caloried snacks such as pretzels, graham crackers and fresh veggies and fruits work!

Increase your activity! Make 10,000 steps a day your goal! Sneak in exercise by parking at the end of the big lot...walk, walk, walk! Walk at a faster pace and use the stairs instead of the elevator!

8 cups of water a day is a MUST! Drinking water, refreshes, creates a healthier you and will drecrease your capacity for snacks!

Be honest with yourself.

Those things initiated change in my life. At first, I flirted with them. Then, I became interested in it all. Finally, I put most of it into action! Becoming healthy is hard work and it's 24/7. If you can't engage your mind, body and spirit in the essentials, you will suffer defeat!

Fuel was added to my fire with the letter from Aetna to my Primary Care Physician, Dr. Rogers. My BMI was 47.71 which is greater than 35 compatible with the medically significant obesity and 40 or greater indicating morbid obesity. Well, if that wasn't enough of an insult and eye-opener...try more from the letter...

"This patitnet has tried numerous methods to lose weight in the past without lasting success including Atkins, Jenny Craig, Sugar Busters, T.O.P.S. and Weight Watchers. She has always lost weight but has been unable to sustain the loss always gaining more than was lost".

Here's a list of my co-morbidities:

1. Diabetes Type II

2. Hypertension

3. Secondary Pulmonary Hypertension

4. Congestive Heart Failure

5. Sleep Apnea on bipap machine nightly

6. Hyperlipidemia

7. Restless Leg Syndrome

I had all qualifying co-morbidities that insurance companies consider. Insulting to myself! To see my history in print was SHOCKING in more ways than anyone will ever know. I am proud to say today, my BMI is down to 37.2! Thank you for your applause!

My weight is down 46 pounds and smiling.

My blood pressure has been normal since the day after...no more meds...per my PCP.

My blood sugar has been normal since the day after...no more meds...per my PCP.

My lungs are functioning normally these days...can do a flight of stairs and keep sailing.

Cholesterol is down to 179.

All of the above should enlighten you and perhaps offer some insight to your personal journey with weight. Significant changes in your lifestyle today can afford you an enriched life in the coming future. Think of your children and grandchildren. Now you know they're all going to do some fantastic things in life. Stick around, get a healthy snack and watch their lives unfold. Hey, without you, they wouldn't be able to entertain ya!!!

Change, Challenge, Choice

Seasons mean change. We deal with marvelous cool days, sweltering hot days and very few ice cold days in the great city of Houston, Texas. But, change is inevitable and we must go with the flow. In the long, blistering days of summer in Texas, I must be brave! Honestly, the heat can almost take your breath away.

Over the course of time, however, we find a happy place and make it through a better person, perhaps. This is a new season in my life. For those folks who've been following since July, 2008, you've had perspective and insight on some of my thoughts and challenges. However, here's the new change that has taken place since surgery.

My personality. That's right. My husband, Michael and I have had very lively discussions regarding the 'new me'. It's all good, but, according to him, "you are not the same person I married"! That's right, I've lost half a person...getting close to one, real new one. Attitude's affected with all of this as well. I've always been assertive and I guess...IT'S BAAAAaaaccckk!

So what has brought that discussion into focus? I've always been a mover and a shaker. But for the past three years, each day had incarcerated me as a 'prisoner of my recliner'. When you don't have adequate oxygen saturation, you're hesitant to take too many steps. And, when you do, you pause frequently to allow the lungs to CATCH UP!

Well, folks, that's a tremendous difference in me today. I do have oxygen supply. I do have energy. I do have a desire to run and gun! Much of this causes 'stress' in the living of each day. To sit in front of the television for a long period of time now is a challenge to me. And, so, in the past...if I had excess energy or needed to burn any 'anxious' moments -- I IRONED!! These days, I clean, I do laundry, I reorganize closets, I take 'junk' out of rooms and store it and the list goes on!!!

You read that one right as well. It was just a 'thang' I did. Back then, the ironing was connected to stressful moments over a parent struggling to live. Those were tough days and they had to be dealt with in order to stay on track!

A major change for me today is food. Appearance. Taste. Nutritional qualities. Amount. Does it sound good or not necessary. These things are hard for you to understand. However, food has become a means to live. My role's reversed and I no longer live to eat. It does, though, affect the one(s) you live with!!! And, at times, it's very aggravating to Michael.

Remember, I'm filling a 4 ounce pouch. Doesn't take much. Needs to be protein rich and little or no carbs! Aggravating? Perhaps. Essential? Absolutely.

And, so, I will work on my new attitude daily, but I will remain constant in my personal needs and desires at the dining table! I don't wish to waste time. Junk food is in days gone by. Hello new life. Hello new body. Hello new attitude (can't hep it). And, hello WORLD! Pat's here to stay!

One final note for today. I've come to the 'fork in the road' where I settle into slow weight loss. Hopefully, 5 pounds a month, according to Dr. Sherman. And, so, that's very acceptable. I had a whirlwind beginning. Surpassed all others 'coming out of the gate' and left them in my tracks! It's been a mind changing battle...but, it takes time and thanks to the great Baylor College of Med Team...I THANK I HAVE SUM TIME!!!

Third Fill Today...I'm Runnin' in High Again!

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Greetings on a very hot June afternoon! My visit went well with Dr. Sherman today. I had LOST 2 pounds and he was pleased. Our discussion focused on now, perhaps, I'm to the point where possibly 5 or more will drop per week.

As I've stated prior to today...this is all a P R O C E S S!! Although I had pounds pour rapidly immediately after this dance began, it had to slow at some point! My spirits are lifted again and I'm prepared to boogie on down the path!

My compliments to all of my surgical 'team' at BCM! Those are some of the most wonderful people in the world. One thing I didn't realize when this began that I suddenly was wrapped in my own little world of tremendous doctors and specialists! What a change in this kids life!!

Dr. Sherman's 'right arm' came into the exam room after the stick and fill. It was necessary for me to change next month's appointment due to a weekend trip to Dallas. iteachTEXAS is having our annual Conference and, although I tried to skip, I was informed it was a necessary thing!! Monica is so terrific.

As she opened my FILE to check numbers/stats and such, we began a discussion. They always begin with "how are you doing"? My reply is always with a smile..."I'm great. I've had early success and tremendous health rewards"! Then, she said, "it's your three month, I need new pics before you leave"! OMG!

She showed me the two original pics of me the week before surgery. Holy cow!! I looked like death dressed in all black as I always wore in past days!! Unbelievable!! Yes, there's a new me and I can't wait for the next several months to walk by.

Today, I understand. I know where I'm at in this scenerio, I know that I'm into the right hand lane for slow traffice (and, that's okay) ... but most of all ... I know this is still the best thing I have ever done in my entire life!!!

May each of you have something remarkable happen in your life this week. Matters not if it's simple or complex ... it just matters that something happen! Wishes for a great weekend!

It's Fun Being 'Normal'

The big 'share' for tonight is the latest and greatest regular fitting! Until you've been there, you may not understand the joy in this thought.

I can sit down in the car seat, pull the belt across my lap, buckle it without flinching. Until the past few weeks...its was pull the belt, shift all the fat to the right or left out of the way of the seat belt catch and then struggle to find the hole!! What a pleasure to be an average bear these days in many different ways!

We bowled today, as with each Thursday. That is another fascination with me now. My high game today was 217!!!! Folks, I feel 'normal' when I bowl now. My approach is smooth, there's no 'side baggage' that gets in the way of my swing and it all JUST WORKS!!!

It's also a pleasure to be sitting anywhere...and be able to fold my foot under me or fold both feet in the chair to get comfortable. Crossing legs these days is very comfortable and it offers an entirely new style when out in public...church, etc. These are mundane things to all of those folks who've never struggled with obesity. For the obese person, these are the things of life that all long to perform in a normal capacity.

Anyhow, just an enlightenment for the week and --- I get my third fill tomorrow morning at 10:45!!! I am so hoping this will create the SWEET SPOT and shove me back into the moving on down mode!!

This plateau has been challenging, to say the least. The mental and emotional upheaval it has brought into life is unbelievable. Now, understand, I'm still well pleased with great health! I just have been frustrated doing it all 'right' and remaining still. I've tracked my calories, cut my intake to a limited number of times a day, chugged gallons and gallons of water and still, about the same.

Lap band is definitely LIFE CHANGING and a monumental LEARNING CURVE in life day in and out!! It has also affected my personality somewhat with newfound energy and ability to 'perform' many different tasks these days. I stay in a go, go, go mode and find it very difficult to 'stall' and SIT in the front of the tv now. Thus, many changes, multiple challenges and hills to climb!!

Cross your fingers and your toes for the FILL!! Here's to getting it put in "D" FOR DRIVE!!

Down to the Nitty Gritty

I attend a once a month meeting down at Baylor College of Med. It's on the first Thursday of each month, 11th floor conference room from 6-7 p.m. This last meeting was the most beneficial of all I've attended.
Lin Lin, our Nurtritionist, had enlisted a rep from Johnson and Johnson to come and tutor us in the computer program Realize My Success. It was great. I now know how to work every component of the program, thus, I'm planning my day of eating and tracking calories. I can also plug in whatever exercise I accomplish and it figures the amount of calories burned!
These days find me ultra active. The weather is gorgeous and my energy is high, so I'm on the go. Michael doesn't enjoy 'on the go' unless there's a purpose...so, I say later and hit the road most every day.
Yesterday I was in the mood to bowl again. We have a Wilson Road Bowl right near the house...off I went. I bowled alone for 45 minutes, worked up a sweat and enjoyed the activity. Scores were 148, crap, 169. It took me a while to figure their lanes out! Regardless, great movement.
The scale had dropped back to my old -46 mark. That was good. Hoping to see a slight drop again in the morning. I'm now holding tight to 1050-1200 calories per day. Since I have use of the program, it's easy...and, I've taken time to plug in my favorite things I use regularly so I have an accurate accounting for the day's intake.
Things I've learned:
lap band is exciting; lap band is not a magic key; lap band is a tremendous tool; the beat goes on and one must work hard to stay lean 'n mean on calorie count; eating tiny bites is the key; eating slowly and chewing forever a must; throwing up is not a fun experience; and....
the best thing I've learned is this -- my pouch is about the size of an egg. It takes very little food to FILL IT. Thus, really no hunger pains...and, I've learned to fill my time between meals with stuff rather than food.
Bottom line...there is NO QUICK FIX in the world and battle of weight. Determination, stick to itness and personal goals are what drive the beast! I have lost the 46 and I wish to lose 82 more.
Today, I began on the north side of Conroe at an Outlet Shopping Center. I ran into a Lane Bryant store and strolled in. Before I knew it, I had three new tops (big sale) and one of those is a Peasant Blouse. When I tried it on, I was smilin' like the Mississippi! 46 pounds ago, I would have looked like a beached whale in that top. Today, pretty dang good! BOUGHT IT!
From there, I surfed lots of places, coming back down to the Woodlands and making a couple of stops. I'm in the process of adding color to the kitchen and it's fun to browse and shop for eye catching things as we've all done forever.
Finally, around 4:15, I pulled back into the drive at home. One of the neatest things that happened today was at Home Goods. I heard a voice say, 'put that down lady' and I turned to see one of my old bestest buddies from Coordinator days. It was Sharon Sterchy, my counterpart from Aldine ISD. Wow! We were both so excited and the last she had seen of me was back in the Spring of 2002.
Yes, she was tickled too death at my appearance and she commented on how healthy I looked! We exchanged phone numbers and hugged again before parting to continue our stealth shopping!
There have been a few days that 'life 101' has infringed on my focus with my new challenge here. However, I've finally targeted some major things and have started carving my map and staying focused on my mission. Have I had some down days? Certainly. Have I been confused from other's adivce at times! Of course! Doesn't matter. I've finally come to know that this is my band, my mission and my decisions.
Success lies down the road, around the bend at the top of the hill where that big 'ol country house sat! During my teen years living on that farm, I was a skinny minny!! My map is leading me there again.
Stay tuned...and come along with me. We'll 'follow the yellow brick road, ah hah'!
Have a great Sunday and do something special for yourself!
Oh, one other thing. I finally bought a new 'over the shoulder bolder holder'!!! Yep, new bra! Now, tsk, you might say. Folks, it's 4" smaller than the old one and do THE GIRLS EVER STAND SO PROUD! lololololol I know, a little humor, but...come on!!! That's the breast, I mean best I can do at this hour!